Hairdresser Breakup...HELP

[PollyPocket8]

I need help on how to break up with my hairdresser…

I feel like each time I leave I am never really happy with my hair, it’s always ok but I never walk away with that feeling of I absolutely love my hair. I show her pictures of exactly what I like just to make sure what I’m explaining and what I hope for her to achieve line up but unfortunately I still don’t get the outcome I hoped for. It’s difficult because ive gone to her for around 8 years.I think maybe the problem is she is a mobile hairdresser and never in salon so she’s maybe not as up to date with new trends and training. I gave her one last chance this time (in my head) I was really clear and showed her pictures but didn’t get what I was looking for. I made an appointment like I always do but I know that I want to cancel.

So I guess I’m looking for advice on how to cut ties? Do I message and cancel the appointment and say I will message to reschedule but this gives me major guilt or do I say a friend has got me a voucher to try her salon she goes to? I feel like telling her upfront would really hurt her and I don’t want to do that.

Thanks in advance x

@PollyPocket8 no worries! I've been mobile before and I completely get it, you've given her plenty of chances to achieve the style you'd like, I'd hate to think someone repeatedly wasn't satisfied with the style id given them. If you give her more than 48hours notice with cancelling so she can fit someone else in that's being more than respectful.

Oh the ''I have a voucher for a salon!'' is a great segway..........

This is extremely awkward indeed. You are probably like friends with this hairdresser if you have seen her so often over 8 years. Just say you are going on a spa day with a hair cut included in the package, or that your friend/some at work's daughter is training to be a hairdresser and looking for models and has begged you to be one . Then say you are going to carry on volunteering. I can't advise being honest as I couldn't do it in a million years, there would be no nice way of doing it.

Yeah the voucher for another salon… but then I’m a coward when it comes to hairdresser breakups lol

I wish you luck with your next style!!!

Same issue here @PollyPocket8

I had a choppy 'Kim Wilde' look in the 1980s that was done by my mobile hairdresser 'Sue.' (See attached pic 1.)

5 or 6 of my colleagues and neighbours used her too.

It was fab in the 1980s. Except she kept doing that same look into the mid 1990s. Like your hairdresser, she got stuck with her hair styles/fashions, and never moved on.

Fortunately for me she had a baby at 36, and stopped her business for a year, and I lost touch with her. shame

Annoyingly though, I struggled to find another hairdresser then (I was about 35-37ish by then!)

I eventually found a new hairdresser called Claire's that was ran by three 18 to 22 year olds. I went 3 or 4 times for a trim, but was put off when they kept trying to palm off the ghastly 'inverted bob' onto me. (See pic 2.) I fucking HATE that style, and they kept nagging me to get it. My hair is wavy and 4-5" below shoulder length, and no WAY was I having this style.

So I gave up, and started cutting it myself. Have done for 15+ years now.

OMG is this a real post? Just cancel the appointment and don't go back.

@HelloFrostyMorning my ex hairdresser only started doing social media posts recently and I realised at that point that she does the inverted bob on everybody including herself and me. I now have long balayage and am much happier!

Same happened to me. I went every 7 weeks for colour and cut and made appointments sometimes 3 or 4 appointments in advance. I felt she got a bit lazy with me and I never felt happy afterwards despite me bringing pictures of what I fancied. She often posted fabulous images of new clients colours and styles online. I began to feel irritated by it. I’m ashamed to say that I sent a message saying something had come up and to cancel my next appointments and that I’d get in touch to rearrange. Then I ghosted her - I’m not proud of that but I didn’t know what to do. She hasn’t got in touch with me either - fortunately.
That was about 8 months ago and fortunately I’ve not bumped into her yet but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time as we live in a small town. That’s going to be awkward.

@UserBot999

Yes, I do see the awkwardness. But I think she must be like TEFLON to have never wondered if YOU might like to change?

Has she ever said to you ''don't feel you have to keep coming to me!''.

I think she should say that. I don't think she should just keep assuming you're her client for life.

Tell her really directly ''I have to have a change'' when she contacts you next.

Wait really?! If my hairdresser said that to me, I'd think she was dropping hints for me to find someone else!

I’d go with the gift of a voucher for another salon , if she asked and then tell her that prefer going to a salon for the experience . End of.

I cancelled giving an excuse then didn’t rebook. I’d been with my hairdresser for 15 years and she was stuck with doing the same. I asked for some different colours and I heard her moaning about me with her mate! The final straw was she turned my hair purple!

I had this problem a few years ago. My hairdresser also started working remotely and just lost her edge as a result. I booked my appointment as usual when leaving and then text her to cancel saying that my niece had just qualified in hairdressing and she was offering me half price. She text back something like "no problem" and that was that. Thinking about these things is always so much worse than the reality.

I’d cancel but then if chased to re-book say you are trialling a change and going into a salon. You fancy a change of hair and experience, we’ve all been at home for too long. Doing it in two stages might feel less drastic.

Can't your 'niece' have just started a hairdressing course and needs models?

[quote Toomuchleopard]@HelloFrostyMorning my ex hairdresser only started doing social media posts recently and I realised at that point that she does the inverted bob on everybody including herself and me. I now have long balayage and am much happier![/quote]
Ooooh, sounds fab! I proper LOVE a long balayage!

I had this! I said my cousin was training as a hairdresser so I was going to model for her for a while, then just never went back!

If you feel shitty about dumping her (and worry you'll bump into her etc) then the only thing to do is to educate her.

"That looks lovely but I was hoping for something a bit more like this...."

"Can I have even more off please, like this pic?"

"I'm thinking something different this time, can you please try to replicate this?"

"Can I have a bit more volume please?"

Start giving her feedback. She isn't a mindreader so all the while you smile and nod, and return, she's going to think you're a happy customer.

Give her a chance to improve. If she doesn't, then you'll feel better about dumping her (and she'll likely know why and understand).

It's like at work; you can't just sack someone. You have to give them insight and a chance to improve.

I don't see why you can't give her feedback or just not make another appointment.

I can understand someone saying they've decided to go to a salon for a change of experience but not all these convoluted lies about vouchers, relatives and models.

At the end of the day, you're paying for a service you're not happy with. To continue doing so is your own stupidity.
I've used the same salon for 15 years. Girl I originally used left, a different girl started doing my hair. I liked her style, stuck with her.
That girl moved, on bad terms and I chose to stick with the salon. Owner started doing my hair, loved her.
Owner left, on severe bankruptcy terms and her staff took over. Loyalty made me stay. A new staff member did my hair, DM and 2 DDs hair. Terribly. None of us were happy. I called the salon, spoke to the only original member of staff and explained my grievances. She took us all on, won't allow anyone else to even book our appointments, and us an absolute godsend. Gives her honest opinion if teenage DDs are going OTT and refuses my occasional requests to 'just cut it all off' because she knows I really want to grow it out.
If you can't trust your hairdresser you can't trust anyone.

I had a mobile hairdresser come to my house once and that was enough. Totally different experience trying to rinse your hair out over your bathtub, nestled up to the toilet and trying not to get piss wet through, to sitting in a salon in a chair with a massage feature! I would maybe use that as an excuse, cancel your appointment saying you’ve got some kind of neck pain and need to go to a salon so they can wash your hair in a basin.

Just message her and say you’re going to have to cancel the next appointment but will be in touch.

Then just don’t be in touch!

I wouldn't tell her that you'll re-schedule, she won't appreciate being lied to. Just tell her you fancy a change, or having your hair done at home just isn't working anymore and you want to go to a salon. You could say you've had a voucher, but if she then follows up and asks how it went, and you say you're going back again, she'll likely be offended. I guess it depends if that bothers you, but based on what you've said it sounds like it would.

Exact same situation to you OP. It's really awkward isn't it?

I rang last week and cancelled and said I would rebook at a later date but still in limbo as I am too chicken at the moment to try someone completely different in case I hate it even more than I currently do!

I had a really bad experience years ago when having a "perm" (yes it was that long ago!) and every hair on my head fell out so it took a long time to actually get me back in a salon in the first place.

Stuck in a very deep rut though now.

Oh it’s horrible isn’t it?

I’ve learnt my lesson now and am seriously promiscuous with hairdressers, beauticians and nail techs.

I’ve learnt my lesson now and am seriously promiscuous with hairdressers, beauticians and nail techs

(chortle)