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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hairdresser Breakup...HELP

85 replies

PollyPocket8 · 24/01/2022 21:31

I need help on how to break up with my hairdresser…

I feel like each time I leave I am never really happy with my hair, it’s always ok but I never walk away with that feeling of I absolutely love my hair. I show her pictures of exactly what I like just to make sure what I’m explaining and what I hope for her to achieve line up but unfortunately I still don’t get the outcome I hoped for. It’s difficult because ive gone to her for around 8 years.I think maybe the problem is she is a mobile hairdresser and never in salon so she’s maybe not as up to date with new trends and training. I gave her one last chance this time (in my head) I was really clear and showed her pictures but didn’t get what I was looking for. I made an appointment like I always do but I know that I want to cancel.

So I guess I’m looking for advice on how to cut ties? Do I message and cancel the appointment and say I will message to reschedule but this gives me major guilt or do I say a friend has got me a voucher to try her salon she goes to? I feel like telling her upfront would really hurt her and I don’t want to do that.

Thanks in advance x

OP posts:

moomee12 · 24/01/2022 21:33

Following- I'm in the same boat.

Chilledchablis1 · 24/01/2022 21:35

And me ! My hairdresser is lovely but the last few times I have been disappointed.

ModerationInEverything · 24/01/2022 21:36

Just cancel and say you'll get back to her to reschedule?

Agadorsparticus · 24/01/2022 21:37

I'd cancel and not rebook. You've a lot going on and have decided to let it grow for a bit.

Original poster

PollyPocket8 · 24/01/2022 21:39

@Agadorsparticus

I'd cancel and not rebook. You've a lot going on and have decided to let it grow for a bit.

My worry is that she will message me in a few weeks and ask if I want to book in appointment because I'm extremely regular. Every 7 weeks without fail!

OP posts:

Agadorsparticus · 24/01/2022 21:42

Keep repeating it. She can't harrass you into an appointment.

Aprilx · 24/01/2022 21:42

I didn’t realise you have to break up with your hairdresser. 😁. I just don’t book again.

BigYellowHat · 24/01/2022 21:43

Just don’t rebook. This isn’t a big deal.

Original poster

PollyPocket8 · 24/01/2022 21:44

@Aprilx

I didn’t realise you have to break up with your hairdresser. 😁. I just don’t book again.

I know it's just difficult when you've seen someone every 7 weeks for around 8 years I just feel guilty, I don't know why I just can't shift the feeling. Especially when it's mobile as they come to your home or you to theirs it just feels more personal I think that's why its more difficult.

OP posts:

UserBot999 · 24/01/2022 21:44

Oh this is terrible. But you have to just bite the bullet.

Just tell her it's not her it's you. Tell her you're not walking on the same page!

Bywayofanupdate · 24/01/2022 21:45

I'm in the same boat. The problem is my hairdresser is so lovely and our children are the same ages so we often bump into each other at activities. She would know if I'd been elsewhere!

Original poster

PollyPocket8 · 24/01/2022 21:46

@Bywayofanupdate

I'm in the same boat. The problem is my hairdresser is so lovely and our children are the same ages so we often bump into each other at activities. She would know if I'd been elsewhere!

Yes I'm exactly the same and I also have relatives who are also clients of hers.

OP posts:

UserBot999 · 24/01/2022 21:46

Yes, I do see the awkwardness. But I think she must be like TEFLON to have never wondered if YOU might like to change?

Has she ever said to you ''don't feel you have to keep coming to me!''.

I think she should say that. I don't think she should just keep assuming you're her client for life.

Tell her really directly ''I have to have a change'' when she contacts you next.

DramaAlpaca · 24/01/2022 21:48

I know it's hard, but just ring to cancel and then don't rebook. I'm sure this happens more often than you might think, in fact I'm considering doing the same thing.

UserBot999 · 24/01/2022 21:50

And, when you ring to cancel., if she doesn't make it easy for you to cancel, if she doesn't say ''oh of course, I totally understand!'' then she's being a bit manipulative imo.

Shouldershrugger · 24/01/2022 21:52

Would she cut your hair for free?? You're not happy with your hair, so cancel. I find that some hairdressers get comfortable and just do what they feel is best. I had that too. I asked for highlights in December and the woman next to me getting the balayage had the colour higher up than mine. I didn't rebook and went elsewhere.

Toomuchleopard · 24/01/2022 21:53

I had the same issue. I went to my hairdresser for 15 years and she didn’t seem to move on so by the end was churning out the same old styles and was looking pretty dated. I found a new one that popped up on Facebook and they had lots of pictures online that I liked and were current. I just stopped going to the old one. But now both my girls’ hair needs cutting and I darent take them to the old hairdresser and the new one is not very convenient!

Tatapie · 24/01/2022 21:54

I'd say Thanks, I won't re/book this time, I'm thinking of having a complete change of style / clothes etc as I feel a bit stuck in rut so going to leave my hair til last.
Then if she chases say you were gifted a voucher for a salon so need to use that...

cheesesandwhich · 24/01/2022 21:55

I'm a hairdresser, although I work in a salon. I'd honestly just say your fancying a change of style and you'd like to start going into a salon again for a break from having it done at home. You can explain it's nothing against her, you'd just like to try something new! - remember although your feeling disloyal, it's your hair at the end of the day! Do what's makes you happy, you can always go back to her again.
Or alternatively say you've been brought a voucher at a salon and cancel your next appointment!

GrandRapids · 24/01/2022 21:55

I'd cancel the next booking and say you don't know when you can rebook as you've got a lot going on and are having some financial difficulties. If she chases you then ignore, if she persists then block

Dacquoise · 24/01/2022 21:57

I had exactly the same problem. Mobile hairdresser, used her for years but never totally happy with her as she resolutely refused to take enough hair off to last the five to six weeks between cuts. I ended up cutting bits off in between. Luckily she was a bit unreliable, always trying to reschedule appointments and make things to her advantage. Tried to reschedule one time too many, took it as an opportunity to book an emergency appointment with a saloon and I was free!

She hasn't spoken to me since. I think you just have to rip the plaster off. She's not providing the service you need. You need to go elsewhere. She may not like it but you are a customer at the end of the day and paying for something you don't like.

Original poster

PollyPocket8 · 24/01/2022 21:57

@cheesesandwhich

I'm a hairdresser, although I work in a salon. I'd honestly just say your fancying a change of style and you'd like to start going into a salon again for a break from having it done at home. You can explain it's nothing against her, you'd just like to try something new! - remember although your feeling disloyal, it's your hair at the end of the day! Do what's makes you happy, you can always go back to her again. Or alternatively say you've been brought a voucher at a salon and cancel your next appointment!

Thanks for that, it made me feel better coming from a hairdresser knowing you wouldn't take it personally. I really just didn't want to hurt her feelings as I think its slightly more personal when it's one one one and you do spend the full 3 hours chatting when it's in a home

OP posts:

cheesesandwhich · 24/01/2022 21:58

Bought*

Carolcole · 24/01/2022 22:02

Tell her you’ve been reading ´change your routine, change your life’ (obviously that is made up but you will be able to google some kind of similar self-help book title) and that you’re going to try a year of doing things differently, eating new foods, new exercise routine, switching side of bed, new hairdresser, learn a new skill etc etc - qu’after-shave covid and so on you feel the need to do something to start afresh

UserBot999 · 24/01/2022 22:03

yes, tell her you're getting out of your comfort zone in smalls ways to embolden yourself.

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