To walk alone for 45mins at 8pm?

[imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really.

Told my DH I would be walking home from work tonight, finish 8pm.

It takes around 40-45mins. There are no busses at this time. He feels I should get a taxi, mainly due to the attacks on women that have been published in the media recently. I've said I can't justify the expense and am more than happy walking, usually do if it's daylight. We live in a holiday resort area but it's along 3 fairly busy main roads so won't be in any isolated areas.

He usually collects me but he has covid so can't collect me and I don't drive.

AIBU to think its fine to walk home at this time of the day in the dark or should I follow his advise and get a taxi and claw the cost back elsewhere?

That is about the length of my walk to and from work which I've been carrying out without incident for some years.

If you feel really uncomfortable about it, that's fine, I certainly wouldn't think less of anyone who chose to be more cautious.

And if you don't want your husband to feel anxious, it might be worth taking the taxi. Your choice.

There's no guarantee of safety either way!

I personally wouldn’t walk home in the dark myself. I bet Sarah Everard thought she was safe walking home the night she did it. She walked busy residential and shopping areas.

Sarah Everard didn’t die because she walked home alone in the dark. She died because a man abused the power and trust (then) vested in the police force for his own perverted gratification.

Anyway OP, as others have said - women aren’t safe anywhere. Men hurt and kill us when we’re walking home, exercising, taking taxis, in our homes, whatever. Sometimes men in positions of utmost trust and power, such as police officers, paramedics, and doctors, will abuse their positions in order to harm us.

All you can do is decide what you think is the least risky option. Personally I would walk based on what you’ve described.

As other posters correctly pointed out the chances of anything happening are absolutely tiny. I did this for years, and never ever had a problem, until I did. For me it was early evening, still not dark, on where there are normally a few other people walking, residential road.

Tiny tiny tiny tiny chance of anything bad happening, but big potential impact. I don't like getting taxis, I'd get a taxi.

I wouldn't think twice about walking this distance at any time!
I'd only worry if the route involved unlit country roads with no footpath, and that's due to the risk of being hit by a car.

I regularly go out for walks on my break on night shifts to keep me awake - it's in a fairly rural area but mainly lit and all with pavements. I also can't imagine potential rapists hanging around in the woods or in deserted areas at night as surely they'd be more "successful" (sorry can't think of a better word!) in a busier area?

@Blossomtoes

Taxi! You can’t put a price on safety.

Well, the price would be £300 a month for me which is more than my food shop (with Uber, £500 if real taxi). Not everybody has that money lying around for ‘safety’.

Not to mention I feel a thousand times more unsafe in a taxi than I do walking in the evening, where I live. Never found a creepy man in front of Mango or Primark, have been in dozens of Ubers where I just wanted to get off.

@wishmyhousetidy

Surprised so many people wouldn’t walk at this time, are woman now going to be housebound after dark? Bad things definitely do happen but this feels very strange and a very strange message to give to our teenage daughters. When they are 15, 16 for example we are going to say they cannot go out unless chaperoned or accompanied by a parent

More worryingly that they need a random man to walk them home.

I've experienced this since DH died. Friends insist I can't walk home alone and make ask of friends to walk me home or give me a lift, so I end up doing a walk I was perfectly comfortable doing alone in the company of a man I barely know.

I've started putting my foot down now.

@2pinkginsplease

I personally wouldn’t walk home in the dark myself. I bet Sarah Everard thought she was safe walking home the night she did it. She walked busy residential and shopping areas.

If it were me dh would put a mask on and drive with windows open to pick me up or I would get a taxi home.

What a smug and revolting thing to say. Do not take Sarah Everard's name in vain to prove your pointless point. It is distasteful to use a dead woman's memory for that.

Sarah was arrested for supposedly breaching covid regulations by a murderer with a valid police warrant card who saw his chance. His colleagues knew he was dangerous but said nothing.

I know the route she took. It is perfectly safe and I would walk it now. The difference is that I wouldn't necessary trust a police officer or a taxi driver for that matter.

If a lone male police officer wanted to arrest me I'd tell him to call for back up and wait by the side of the road. That takes guts. It also takes learning from some other poor woman's experience. That doesn't make me clever. It doesn't make you clever either.

At 8pm I wouldn’t think twice about walking around on main roads (but would probably get a bus if I had bags to carry etc). After about 11pm I’d feel more safety conscious but still pretty happy with public transport, no real need for taxi til no post midnight. I live and work in central London for reference. Your husband is being a bit paranoid in my view.

If he's well enough to drive, using common sense he can still collect you as he will stay in the car and not come into contact with anyone else so no risk to anyone at all.

I hadn’t even thought twice about it until a couple of weeks ago I put something on my Instagram (I’m trying to get steps for fitness in that means walking at night) and several people contacted me worried and saying stay safe. I’ve never felt unsafe on route. It’s a safe area and dog with me.

Get a taxi, walking might be a mistake that you cannot make right

Depends on the area you live in, surely?
I'd walk at that time round here no problem, but it depends on what the area is like.

Assuming there are no reasons to avoid the route - busy roads with no pavements/ dodgy unlit sections/ goes through a bear colony - absolutely I would walk.

i would walk

If you are happy walking, then do it. Unless there is some local advice to be careful due to some serial attacker who is still on the loose.

Years ago, a woman was raped in the lane at the back of my house. She was raped again on her way home by a different man. Even though both men had been caught, my dad insisted I call my DP to escort me from my car... at the back of our own house.

I'd only worry if the route involved unlit country roads with no footpath, and that's due to the risk of being hit by a car.
@rubydoobydoo same
Was thinking wouldn't walk home from work at that time but only because of reasons you just mentioned.
Going out for walks after dark otherwise wouldn't bother me at all.

If it's well lit and busy, I'd be happy to do that.

I used to work shifts, it could be 8-5, 9-6, or 11-8. Plus 10 minutes startup/packing up time at each end of the shift, & changing my shoes etc. It was 45 minutes walk each way, not all of it was well lit. I worked there several years. No way could I afford a taxi & the office was built without sufficient parking, to encourage lift sharing - tough for those of us on the very early or late shifts.

You (not you-you, but an abstract statistical you - am not accusing your husband who sounds lovely) are more likely to be killed by a partner than a stranger. And less like lying to be killed by a stranger than a man would. www.bbc.co.uk/news/explainers-56365412

Don't let the few bad men out there take away our right to move freely in our own world. Take every precaution you can, and then do it. Walk purposefully, near the outside of the pavement. Keep you phone line open if that helps.

I personally wouldn’t walk home in the dark myself. I bet Sarah Everard thought she was safe walking home the night she did it. She walked busy residential and shopping areas

I bet all the victims of that taxi driver rapist thought they were safe. I bet every women (2 a week) who married a man who ended up killing her thought she was safe when she married him, Harold Shipman's victims no doubt felt supremely safe at home in their own beds.

The actual risks are tiny.

The impact of fear on our lives is huge.

If we allow it.

I would. Wouldn't give it a second thought. Terribly sad that so many women still don't feel safe after dark.

If YOU think its ok to walk, then do so. Don't do something because a man says you should.

Its your assessment to make. Not his because he owns you.

There are ways for a man to suggest a taxi and ways for them not to suggest a taxi. Eg "Get a taxi, I don't think its safe" v "If you would feel safer get a taxi if you want".

And if taxi is suggested and rejected thats final. If your relationship is healthy.

The freedom to make a decision for yourself without the input of man telling you what to do, is as important as it is to feel safe on the streets in the first place.

If you can't say no to a man over a taxi, if thats how you feel, you are not free from that man.

I wouldn't think twice about walking home a couple of miles at any time of day or night where I live. But thats a risk assessment of my area.

Personally I wouldn't ever get a taxi alone though either. I would ask DH, a family member or friend to pick me up.

I wouldn’t even consider getting a taxi but that’s just me. I wouldn’t worry about walking at night. But very sweet that he cares. I’ve never had anyone interested in whether I’m alone in the dark!

I'd walk it - have often had to pop out to shops, come back from work or pick children up from things that sort of time of night.

Obviously it depends on the route in question.

I wonder if it's because we don't drive so it's more normal to be out in the dark often on foot for least part of the journey- or not do things.