Do people leave child free weddings early?

[Soontobeoutnumbered3]

If you’ve had, or been to, a wedding that was child free did you find that some guests left earlier because they had to go home to let the babysitter get off? Or did it mean that guests could stay until the end as they didn’t have tired children with them?

YABU - child free weddings allow guests to stay later than they might have if children had been with them.

YANBU - guests tend to leave child free weddings early to get back to the babysitter

We’re going to a child free wedding. No one to have DD overnight so we will need to get back at a reasonable hour for babysitter.

Even thought the venue has “no curfew so you can party all night”

Oh yeah, and got to drive 45 minutes home after.

@Soontobeoutnumbered3

It’s not my wedding, but one that I was recently involved with. I was speaking to the B&G and they were “disappointed” that the wedding reception was effectively dead by 11pm. They’re a couple in their late 30’s/early 40’s who currently don’t have children and had said that to keep costs down (said to me, not on the invite) they were not inviting children. The majority of their guests have children and at least half of the guests had left before 10:30. The reception included fireworks at midnight at the end of the dancing and then a “supper” or cookies, sausage rolls etc. which mostly went untouched. (The wedding was on a Saturday and close to where the majority of their friends and family live)

@Skeumorph sums it up well in my opinion

Tbh, even without kids, I think having scheduled "events" at midnight as part of your wedding, and expecting everyone to still be there is mad. Once you're past your 20s, there are plenty of people who just cba to stay up that late! Especially if you're driving and therefore sober, hours of cheesy dancing isn't everyone's cup of tea. If they wanted people there for the fireworks they should have planned them earlier in the night.

I love a good wedding, I'm not one of the MN wedding grinches, but even if I didn't have my kids to think about, I can't guarantee that I'd still be going strong at midnight.

Since having children myself:

• The child-inclusive weddings we've been to, we left by 9:30 to get child to bed.

• The child-free events we've been to where we couldn't get an all-night babysitter, we left by 9:30 to get back to relieve the babysitter.

• The one child-free wedding we've been to where we were able to get all-night childcare (and it was so expensive and so much hassle, it really was a once-in-a-blue-moon thing, reserved for one of our very closest friend's weddings) we were so knackered we had to leave at 10pm anyway to go to bed!

Having said that, at my own wedding we had a couple of dozen kids there, so most of the parents and their kids had left by about 9 or 10 o'clock (except a few with very small babies who were young enough to sleep soundly in their prams, plus two couples whose parents lived 20 minutes from the venue and were able to pick up the kids and let the parents carry on partying), but that just left a hard core of party animals on the dance floor who had a whale of a time the last couple of hours of the night.

Child free weddings aren't joyless.

If you have the money you can do what one of my friends did which was to have a separate room with nannies/child food and sleeping areas. So parents can enjoy the dancing and meeting their friends - and take sleeping children back to B&B or hotel.

Cheaper than having to pay 15 x adult meals.

However it's up to everyone to decide what they want, what they can afford and whether children are essential and where the wedding is.

In Covid times as well it's been hard with only x people allowed in church or wherever, kids waiting outside if not part of the x people, getting understandably antsi.

If you have the money you can do what one of my friends did which was to have a separate room with nannies/child food

This is often touted as the magic answer but few children under 4 will be happy being left in a strange place with a random nanny they've never met before!

@OfstedOffred

If you have the money you can do what one of my friends did which was to have a separate room with nannies/child food

This is often touted as the magic answer but few children under 4 will be happy being left in a strange place with a random nanny they've never met before!

Yes this. We had a kids space in another room with comfy sofas and dvds and a few snacks, and kids could go and chill there if they wanted - the family members who had kids took turns to go and sit with them (most were pretty keen on the sofas actually!). But this wasn’t our idea - we were clueless childless people at the time - it was suggested by and set up by the parents of various kids, and we made the room available for them. It’s a nice option but I can’t imagine many kids I know falling asleep under the care of a person they don’t know in a strange location and then being carried to the car later. Would be amazing but unrealistic for plenty of kids. (I’m sure some would!)

We would always stay late either way, happy to keep kids up late for a special occasion.

I don't want to be up until midnight after a full day of wedding, drinking, eating, socialising, regardless of having kids or not!