To be irritated by this wedding invite?

[JukEki]

We have been invited to two child free weddings, both in June. We are going to attend both and are pulling in favours for childcare. However I can’t pretend that I’m not mildly irritated by the wording in one of the invites!

One invite said “Unfortunately bearing in mind we have limited guest numbers we cannot accommodate everyone’s children however this is a golden opportunity for parents to enjoy a night of relaxation and uninhibited revelry!”

The second simply said ‘ Whilst we love your children please note this is an adult only occasion’

The first annoyed me as actually it’s not going to be relaxing for me in the slightest, it’s quite inconvenient and expensive to not be able to bring the children and I’m more likely to be hand expressing in the toilets than dancing on a table.
It is absolutely the couple’s prerogative to have the wedding they want including making a decision to have no children- just own it and say so instead of dancing around it and pretending it’s a night off for me.

Happy to be told I’m unreasonable- first also contained a money poem which may be biasing me 😂

The last wedding I went to was lovely, I think there were about 12 children and between 60 and 70 adults. The children all had a special present waiting for them when they sat down for their meals. The menu was lovely and children could have the chicken nugget or pizza type meal or half an adult meal. There were games in the garden for them but actually the adults seemed more take with the games from the childhoods than the children were or maybe they just didn't give the children a look in.

I didn't see any child running round, they didn't spill anything or knock into anyone let alone knock anyone over. They did join in with dancing but lots of adults who loved them enjoyed dancing with them.

Maybe it depends on the sort of children you know.

@Migrainesbythedozen the last thing I am going to say now is no I don't mean the speeches or the first dance. And for your information we included our DD in that as well. I wish you a good day.

@ancientgran that sounds lovely and I think that's what I meant to say before everyone twisted my words.

@Anotherdayanotheropinon most child free people understand full well the difficulty of planning and adapting around children, because we are expected to do so for other peoples kids.

Children sit down and eat, if you give them something nice to eat and they are included with what is going on they will be fine. Well the children I know are.

@ancientgran

Children sit down and eat, if you give them something nice to eat and they are included with what is going on they will be fine. Well the children I know are.

And it’s people without children who are supposedly clueless.

[quote teaandtoastwithmarmite]@Migrainesbythedozen the last thing I am going to say now is no I don't mean the speeches or the first dance. And for your information we included our DD in that as well. I wish you a good day. [/quote]
So the kids sat still as a statue throughout then. Right. I don't think so. I am certainly glad I had my wedding where children weren't running around on the dance floor and causing trouble and not yours.

You need to fully understand parenthood to get why someone with a newborn might not be able to leave them?

There have been a huge number of posts on MN over the years from parents of newborns where the bride has had a tantrum over said parent not being able to leave a newborn, especially If said baby is EBF and the wedding is a destination wedding. So, I think in these cases the brides have had absolutely no idea.

[quote teaandtoastwithmarmite]@ancientgran that sounds lovely and I think that's what I meant to say before everyone twisted my words. [/quote]
It was lovely and everyone commented on the happiest bride and groom they'd ever seen, it was just very relaxed and none of the "you are the extras in my extravaganza" that you get at some weddings.

I've been to nice weddings without children as well, I don't think people have to have children but they are just small human beings not some wild and alien species.

I definitely enjoy weddings more when I don't have to look after young children -shrug-

@grendelsgrandma

You’re so weird

[quote JukEki]@BadLad

Our life together has already begun,
We have almost everything under the sun.
If you should wish to buy us a gift,
A little extra money would give us a lift.
But most importantly, we request,
You share our day as our wedding guest.
Now that we’ve saved you any fuss,
We can’t wait for you to celebrate with us![/quote]
Pretty sure I saw this or similar in a well-known Wedding magazine when we were planning our wedding. It is what it is.

@ancientgran

Children sit down and eat, if you give them something nice to eat and they are included with what is going on they will be fine. Well the children I know are.

Are you sure you've been around children? Because it doesn't seem so. Children don't 'sit down' for long. A wedding is torture for a child. The ceremony and the reception.

So the kids sat still as a statue throughout then. Right. I don't think so. I am certainly glad I had my wedding where children weren't running around on the dance floor and causing trouble and not yours.

Did everyone have to sit still as a statue throughout your wedding service and reception.

There is no need to be nasty about other people's weddings, sneering at other people isn't a good look.

I didn't see any child running round

We had children running around all over the place at our (outdoor) wedding. Dozens of them.

I'm all for funerals, really.

A wedding is torture for a child. The ceremony and the reception.

The ceremony maybe, but the reception doesn’t have to be if their needs are taken into account during the planning.

Are you sure you've been around children? Because it doesn't seem so. Children don't 'sit down' for long. A wedding is torture for a child. The ceremony and the reception.

I've got 4 children and currently 6 GC so yes thanks I've been around children alot. Why would a wedding be torture for a child? I've a Catholic and went to mass every Sunday from being a few weeks old so sitting through a wedding ceremony was never torture for me. We had lots of them, my father had 11 younger brothers and sisters so I enjoyed many a wedding as a child and they were joyous family occasions.

If you were happy with your wedding why do you feel the need to be unpleasant about other people's choices?

@ancientgran

*It was lovely and everyone commented on the happiest bride and groom they'd ever seen, it was just very relaxed and none of the "you are the extras in my extravaganza" that you get at some weddings.

I've been to nice weddings without children as well, I don't think people have to have children but they are just small human beings not some wild and alien species*

Completely agree. Some of our guests chose not to bring kids which was fine as well but we were surprised they didn't really. And it's true they are just small humans.

@RampantIvy

You need to fully understand parenthood to get why someone with a newborn might not be able to leave them?

There have been a huge number of posts on MN over the years from parents of newborns where the bride has had a tantrum over said parent not being able to leave a newborn, especially If said baby is EBF and the wedding is a destination wedding. So, I think in these cases the brides have had absolutely no idea.

Some of those brides had kids.

@Zazdar

A wedding is torture for a child. The ceremony and the reception.

The ceremony maybe, but the reception doesn’t have to be if their needs are taken into account during the planning.

But why should the B&G have to? It's an adult function, to cater to other people's children takes extra money and planning. It's just ridiculous when it's supposed to be an adults occasion. It's not a playground BBQ or block party.

Some of those brides had kids.

You would have thought they would understand then. Wouldn't you?

@ancientgran

Children sit down and eat, if you give them something nice to eat and they are included with what is going on they will be fine. Well the children I know are.

I invite you to test your theory with my son.

He requires absolute eagle eye to remain in his seat and quiet for a short length of time. He was born with ants in his pants and runs off fresh air and attention. He would see a well behaved wedding as a welcoming stage for the 'baby bin' show.

That's no fun for us, his parents, to be yo-yo-ing shifts of taking him for walks around the gardens, it's no fun for the other guests and it's no real fun for him.

We attended DH's granddad's funeral after lockdown. As DH's Uncle was halfway through the eulogy he felt that was an apt moment to go 'haha boom boom' (it was DH's fault for showing him Basil Brush the week before). I've never been more mortified and it will be the final formal event we take him to until he's FAR older. Weddings included.

If you crack getting him to sit quietly and eat nicely, I would give you a cut of my mortgage.