NC because this is really outing. I’ll try and be brief, but there’s a long backstory!
Been best friends with A since primary school, did everything together and 30 years later she’s still my closest friend. When we were in college, she and my brother started dating. Originally I wasn’t thrilled, but it actually worked out great since she was already part of my family. They got married ten years ago and although she wanted kids, he didn’t so they decided not to have them.
During lockdown, she discovered that my brother had a 2 year old. He’d cheated on her, got the woman pregnant and they were seeing each other regularly so he could spend time with the child. When we locked down, he had to make a choice and decided to confess to her, and maintain contact with his child (the only thing he’s done in all of this that could be considered even slightly redeemable). I think A would have considered a reconciliation but when he moved out, my brother moved in with the other woman (B). So that was the end of their marriage.
A and I have managed to stay friends by agreeing to never discuss him with her, or her with him. While they were breaking up, they obviously discussed each other with me, but I never share the details of their lives with the other one.
So now (thank you if you’ve read this far!) is my dilemma! I had a child just before covid hit. He was due to be Christened and I’d asked my brother and A to be the Godparents. After the breakup, A said she couldn’t possibly be in the same room as him. Luckily covid came along and everything got put on the back burner. Except its been two years nearly and I want to get my child christened. A won’t come if B and my nephew are there. I don’t want to have the christening without my nephew. I don’t think my brother would come without B, but I hate the idea of rubbing A’s face in their happy little family. I’ve told my brother what a dick he is for causing all this, but it doesn’t change the difficult position I’m in? I feel like if i invite them all, then friend won’t come and I’ll have basically fired her as Godmother. But I need to invite my brother and family, so I have to invite B which feels like a betrayal?