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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To forward face my carsick toddler?

105 replies

carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:40

DC1 is 2.5. A few months ago we forked out for an expensive rear facing car seat that we were hoping would keep him safe for a long time (axkid minikid). He's always been rear facing, but a month ago he suddenly developed awful travel sickness. Even the 5 minute drive to nursery has on several occasions caused him to be sick, especially when in stop start traffic.

Is there anything I can do? We chose a rear facing seat as I'm fully aware of how much safer it is, but I can't face him throwing up for every small car journey we make. He's still so young he doesn't even understand to be sick in a bag etc so just ends up throwing up all over himself and the car, and I just feel so bad for him.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 22/01/2022 20:41

At 2.5 you're not an awful person for forward facing your toddler.
People will come along with all the advice and facts you already know but it's not like you want to forward face a 3 month old. It's a calculated risk on your part.

FortySeven · 22/01/2022 20:43

Far more dangerous for you to be distracted while driving because you're worried about him being sick, OP. Try forward facing and see if it helps - you can always try going back to rear-facing in a few months as he may grow out of it.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 22/01/2022 20:44

My first thought would be will turning him actually mean he isn't sick? If he's been fine all that time rear facing then it seems unlikely that turning him would stop the sudden sickness.

I would maybe try it once or twice if possible but I would go in with an open mind that turning him may not actually solve the problem and instead seriously consider alternative modes of transport.

MyDcAreMarvel · 22/01/2022 20:44

Covered in vomit versus broken neck/ spine. I know which one I would choose.

MichelleScarn · 22/01/2022 20:45

I'm a huge catastrophizer, but I'd worry about being sick and choking and not being aware.
Also as a fellow travel sickness sufferer who knows the misery of travelling backwards making things worse, Id do anything to make it better for them!

girlmom21 · 22/01/2022 20:45

@MyDcAreMarvel

Covered in vomit versus broken neck/ spine. I know which one I would choose.
What are the chances of a broken neck or spine in stop/start traffic on a 5 minute journey?
Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:47

@MyDcAreMarvel

Covered in vomit versus broken neck/ spine. I know which one I would choose.
Obviously I know which one I would choose too, which is why I got an exclusively rear facing seat. However the reality of a poorly/distressed toddler multiple times a week, let alone the clean-up is pretty horrific.
OP posts:
Freecuthbert · 22/01/2022 20:47

It is absolutely fine for him to be forward facing. Yes there may be increased risk, but it is certainly not dangerous and the vast majority of 2.5 year olds are forward facing. It is not the same as forward facing an actual baby. You have to weigh up the pros and cons and make the best choice for you and him. We can't always make the absolute safest choices in life and have to take a fair and balanced approach.

Chunkymonkey123 · 22/01/2022 20:47

Personally I think it cruel to make your child sick to the point of vomiting instead of turning him road. If that helps brilliant, if not you can turn him back.
Car seats are safer facing backwards but he’s still in a decent car seat facing forward and the risk of a serious crash is so small.

Strokethefurrywall · 22/01/2022 20:47

Covered in vomit versus broken neck/ spine. I know which one I would choose. - or choking on vomit.

I would absolutely forward face, but extended rear facing isn't a big thing where I live.

Noodledoodledoo · 22/01/2022 20:49

My daughter couldn't do 5 minutes journey without throwing up rear facing in her car seat. Turned her forward facing and the travel sickness stopped.

Yes rear facing is a lot safer, but her throwing up every trip (and alternatives not an option) was just as unsafe as she would get very distressed and distract me.

Son was rear facing until he was 4.

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:49

@MichelleScarn

I'm a huge catastrophizer, but I'd worry about being sick and choking and not being aware. Also as a fellow travel sickness sufferer who knows the misery of travelling backwards making things worse, Id do anything to make it better for them!
I know, I feel awful for him. I suffered from it when younger too (and still do to some extent), so I knew it was a risk he would inherit it. The point being though that I know how awful it feels for him.

I also however wrote my car off a few years ago (pre children) and have been super anxious about car journeys ever since, and rear facing is just so much safer! Such a conundrum.

OP posts:
Change123today · 22/01/2022 20:49

It didn’t make much difference to my daughter when we changed it to forward facing - we hoped it would :(
When she was little I would make sure she wasn’t too hot - that helped a bit. Now she a lot older we have to give her travel sick tablets for very long journeys but we try to advise not to look at phones etc look outside and crack the window open a little bit.

TruffleShuffles · 22/01/2022 20:52

We made the decision to forward face at 18 months due to car sickness. My daughter would scream to the point of struggling to breath due to being so uncomfortable and so many times she would be sick and we wouldn’t have even realised, it was dangerous and so frustrating for the driver.

She is 3 now and has only been sick a handful of times since and not once did she cry since turning her round, it was much safer for her and whoever was driving her.

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:52

The suggestions to try him forward facing are all very sensible, thank you.

The problem is that his seat doesn't have a forward facing option, as far as I'm aware! So wondering how to try him out forward facing without paying for another car seat when it might not help. Might have to suck it up I suppose.

OP posts:
Igneo · 22/01/2022 20:53

My kid was carsick for a period. I used to tuck a tea towel into her collar and give her an ice cream tub to puke in. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to get a 2.5 yr old to start puking into a container. They might miss a bit but they are likely to catch a bit.

However to answer your question, i would try a forward facing and see if it helps.

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:53

@Change123today

It didn’t make much difference to my daughter when we changed it to forward facing - we hoped it would :( When she was little I would make sure she wasn’t too hot - that helped a bit. Now she a lot older we have to give her travel sick tablets for very long journeys but we try to advise not to look at phones etc look outside and crack the window open a little bit.
I'm sorry to hear this- that sounds really hard.

In a (small) way my hope is that forward facing wouldn't help him, as then at least I may as well continue rear facing for the safety aspect, if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Tee20x · 22/01/2022 20:53

@MyDcAreMarvel

Covered in vomit versus broken neck/ spine. I know which one I would choose.
This actually made me laugh - what was the point of this comment. Obviously OP is aware of the risks which is why she bought a rear facing seat and is positing here in the first place Confused.

OP, in your case I would trial forward facing to see if it helps any. It is dangerous to be distracted by children vomiting in the back and is actually more likely that you will get involved in an accident if your attention is split.

On one occasion my DD was being sick in the back and sounded as if she was choking, literally was nowhere for me to pull over either so started getting panicky. When I was stopped all was well but I was so worried and deffo didn't have full attention on the road.

What about tucking muslin into his collar to at least catch some of the sick or even a bib or something to get the bulk? Have you one of those mirrors so that you can see his face in your rear view mirror?

PinkWaferBiscuit · 22/01/2022 20:53

The problem is that his seat doesn't have a forward facing option, as far as I'm aware!

Which seat is it?

Porcupineintherough · 22/01/2022 20:54

Rear facing is "so much safer" in the case of a serious accident. Most people dont have these, so for them a forward facing seat is fine. If it's a risk you absolutely cant take, then stop putting him in the car altogether and find a different way to travel. How would you feel about car travel if you knew that even a short journey would make you vomit?

mynameiscalypso · 22/01/2022 20:54

We found that DS needs to be able to see out the window (as well as being forward facing).

HumunaHey · 22/01/2022 20:55

@MyDcAreMarvel

Covered in vomit versus broken neck/ spine. I know which one I would choose.
I can't stand dickhead comments like this. You wouldn't be so blunt ad bitchy if it were a face to face conversation.

OP, I would try forward facing as there's a chance it might not help anyway.

DonnatellaLyman · 22/01/2022 20:55

If it’s a 5 minute drive in traffic would it not be better to walk/cycle? Quicker than cleaning up the car every time.
At 2.5 I’d try forward facing for longer journeys, although I think it often doesn’t improve things.

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:56

@Tee20x thank you. Yes- I have a mirror which allows me to see his face, and he's very good at telling me he feels sick before it actually happens now (the poor thing has become a pro at recognising what it feels like). Still means I need to quickly pull over and get him out for fresh air to try and stop it- which obviously isn't ideal when trying to rush somewhere like work etc.

A large muslin is worth a try I suppose, thank you.

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 22/01/2022 20:56

I would definitely try forward facing - could you borrow a seat off a friend to try it out for a day or two before you purchase one yourself?

As someone who has always suffered with motion sickness, it is really grim and I don't understand why some parents would voluntarily put their children through it when they could (legally) forward face their child.

I suspect the people saying that are people who don't suffer with motion sickness and don't realise how utterly unpleasant it is - not just for the journey, but for a good couple of hours afterwards too.