To forward face my carsick toddler?

[carseatnightmare]

DC1 is 2.5. A few months ago we forked out for an expensive rear facing car seat that we were hoping would keep him safe for a long time (axkid minikid). He's always been rear facing, but a month ago he suddenly developed awful travel sickness. Even the 5 minute drive to nursery has on several occasions caused him to be sick, especially when in stop start traffic.

Is there anything I can do? We chose a rear facing seat as I'm fully aware of how much safer it is, but I can't face him throwing up for every small car journey we make. He's still so young he doesn't even understand to be sick in a bag etc so just ends up throwing up all over himself and the car, and I just feel so bad for him.

Honestly, imagine it was you in that car seat. You were forced to sit in a position that made you vomit even for a short and safe journey. Every time you got in a car in fact. Would you want to do it? I wouldn’t. Absolutely grim.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

My niece and nephew have forward faced since about 8 months as they got so carsick. My sister made the decision to turn them round so she could see them after niece choked when vomiting and if it wasn't for my older nephew (7) sitting next to her she wouldn't even have known it was happening. It was completely silent which is what scared her so much.

Luckily her eldest was next to the baby, saw it and immediately unstrapped her, pulled her upright and slapped her on the back a few times until she started coughing.

That is terrifying!

@PlayerOneReady

Honestly, imagine it was you in that car seat. You were forced to sit in a position that made you vomit even for a short and safe journey. Every time you got in a car in fact. Would you want to do it? I wouldn’t. Absolutely grim.

I know. It is grim, and I feel awful for him. As I've said already, I get carsick too and so I know how horrible it is.

But I also want to make him as safe as humanly possible, and rear facing is without question safer. I do take on board other posters' comments about him being/feeling sick causing a distraction to my driving though. Definitely food for thought.

DD went through a phase of vomiting in the car at around 14/15months. It was just after the first lockdown and I think if happened because she hadn't been in the car for so long. It was OK if the two of us were in the car and one could be sitting in the back with her but when it was only one driving and we couldn't see her (we removed the mirror to see if that helped) it was awful because she would vomit and then go silent when we couldn't pull over and wouldn't respond when we said her name so we'd start freaking out that she had choked.

Thankfully she grew out of it and at 2.5years she rear faces but if it had continued I'd have seriously considered forward facing.

I don't think there is any harm in trying it to see if the sickness improves, if it doesn't you can always revert back.

There are, on average, about 10 fatalities of 0-15 year olds who are travelling as passengers in a car per year in the UK. So when you're taking about rear-facing being safer, you're taking about reducing an already tiny risk. It's fine to do that, but IMO it's also fine to decide that the distress of the child, which has a very high probability (pretty much certain), is in this case more important than reducing the already very small risk of a serious accident.

Yeah it scared her shitless. Her eldest was only 7 so it was lucky that he is quite an involved big brother and knew what to do and wasn't squeamish about the sick.

We also have an Axkid and my daughter can’t go longer than 10 minutes without throwing up. Forward facing made no difference at all. She only goes in the car once a fortnight as we walk to school so we use medication.

@SerendipitySunshine

We have similar issues, and it turned out it wasnt the car seat, but the driver. We thought DC was feeling and being sick due to RF as it only happened in that car (our other car seat is FF). It turned out, when the drivers were swapped, the sickness swapped too, and was actually worse in the FF seat! Stop start traffic is really hard, and it was my relative's heavy footed driving making the DC sick, not being RF.

Off-topic, but although I've never actually been sick, I've felt nauseous when DH is driving, as has DD. Now DD is learning to drive and I never feel ill in the car with her, even though she's a learner. It's definitely DH's driving!

Took a few years off my life too, hearing 'Mattie can't breathe!' from the back.

@Igneo

You think a 2.5 year while distressed can vomit into a bowl while strapped into a car seat?

My DD is extremely car sick (the same as yours). We live in fairly central London so luckily don’t have to get her into a car often, but when we do she is forward facing to help. You have my sympathies. It’s so hard. I really worry about her on school trips when she’s older.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

To be fair some drivers do drive in an incredibly sicky way so that is a point.

My mum and my exh being two prime examples.

It's strange isn't it? Most drivers I'm ok with but some really accelerate and brake hard. I try to drive as smoothly as possible, and so far, no sick.

Forward face and get the sun blockers for both windows, so he cant see out the windows, it helps with car sickness

Has the new seat changed the position he is in? One of mine was horrendously car sick in my car, but not DH's and it took a while to realise that in DH's car he had a good view out the window whereas in mine the seatback/headrest was in his way and that moving in his eyeline made him sick. Even now he can only sit in the back of a car if he's in the middle with a clear view out.
Also some seats are straighter backed than others - even as an adult I don't like my BIL's cars as they're always sporty with bucket seats that slouch back and that makes me feel queasy.

Certainly worth trying to borrow a forward facing, or a different rear facing seat, from a friend or relative in case it's the seats position.

@MyDcAreMarvel

Covered in vomit versus broken neck/ spine. I know which one I would choose.

This is wrong. It should be:

"Covered in vomit versus the risk of a broken neck / spine in the unlikely case of an accident on a short journey in heavy traffic".

You can't make a proper decision if you misrepresent the facts for effect.

Your question makes as much sense as asking the op:

"Stay at home forever versus death. I know, which one I would choose."

Poisson rouge. In my experience, an ice cream tub in the lap, especially for a toddler who has awareness that they are about to be sick, is not unrealistic.
It might be that some toddlers would kick it on the floor, but it’s worth a try. It’s a shame to not try things due to underestimating how able small children can be.

Turn him around.

When they say that it is much safer to be rear facing, it is still the case that he is really quite safe either way.

I suspect the people saying that are people who don't suffer with motion sickness and don't realise how utterly unpleasant it is - not just for the journey, but for a good couple of hours afterwards too.

It's horrible isn't it? Sometimes I think being sick is better, because at least then the feeling goes away!

I'd try him forwards OP, and not have the heating on in the car too much. I had to get a bus one day a week at university and they always had the heating on really high. More than once I had to get off a early and walk the last bit after being sick in the bushes if I was unlucky because I felt so rotten.

@MyDcAreMarvel I agree with you, and I would absolutely say that in a face to face conversation.

I would keep rear facing and put a bib/muslins on him. We also have a mirror set up so we can see both our children.

I don't know why, according to some posters, the "vast majority" of people don't forward face at 2.5. I intend to keep mine rear facing beyond four, for as long as possible.

We have an extended rear facing car seat and plan to use it for quite a while - DD is 2.5.
But I’d turn her forward facing if she was vomiting after 5 mins. I wouldn’t have days at nursery, trips out at the weekends, going to the shop etc all bookended by vomit.
If 5 mins makes him vomit, how do you ever manage a longer trip? My parents live an hour away, I’d never take her to see them if it was going to involve her vomiting multiple times. I’d definitely switch to forward facing.

I would keep rear facing and put a bib/muslins on him.

That would decrease the inconvenience for you, but not the discomfort for him. Have you ever been travel sick? He must be feeling absolutely awful to be throwing up after 5 mins.
We plan on rear facing DD (2.5) until she’s about 4 but wouldn’t in a situation like this.

I've been there OP, with a rear facing puker.

This was way before the extended rear facing reached us, and I didn't even realise forward facing was a cure for it until we changed his seat.

Forward face.

Vomit distraction is more dangerous.

@110APiccadilly

There are, on average, about 10 fatalities of 0-15 year olds who are travelling as passengers in a car per year in the UK. So when you're taking about rear-facing being safer, you're taking about reducing an already tiny risk. It's fine to do that, but IMO it's also fine to decide that the distress of the child, which has a very high probability (pretty much certain), is in this case more important than reducing the already very small risk of a serious accident.

This. Modern FF seats are still incredibly safe and as someone who gets travel sickness I know how horrible it can be.

Ah bless him, I'd try forward facing and see if it helps.

We ended up FF our carsick toddler, we had one of those spinny seats, so it was easy to just face her the other way. She was so miserable RF.
I can’t travel backwards myself (on trains or rollercoasters 🤢).