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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To forward face my carsick toddler?

105 replies

carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:40

DC1 is 2.5. A few months ago we forked out for an expensive rear facing car seat that we were hoping would keep him safe for a long time (axkid minikid). He's always been rear facing, but a month ago he suddenly developed awful travel sickness. Even the 5 minute drive to nursery has on several occasions caused him to be sick, especially when in stop start traffic.

Is there anything I can do? We chose a rear facing seat as I'm fully aware of how much safer it is, but I can't face him throwing up for every small car journey we make. He's still so young he doesn't even understand to be sick in a bag etc so just ends up throwing up all over himself and the car, and I just feel so bad for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:57

@PinkWaferBiscuit

The problem is that his seat doesn't have a forward facing option, as far as I'm aware!

Which seat is it?

The axkid minikid
OP posts:
Onairjunkie · 22/01/2022 20:57

I FF from a year. He much prefers it.

Sosososotired · 22/01/2022 20:57

I am a huge believer in rear facing as long as possible, but in these circumstances I'd definitely try forward facing. He is 2.5, that's a lot bigger and stronger than 9/15 months.

Bywayofanupdate · 22/01/2022 20:58

Sorry to say that we have just forward faced our car sick child and he is still car sick 🤮 also voms on the way to nursery. We just wrap him in towels now

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 20:59

@DonnatellaLyman

If it’s a 5 minute drive in traffic would it not be better to walk/cycle? Quicker than cleaning up the car every time. At 2.5 I’d try forward facing for longer journeys, although I think it often doesn’t improve things.
Sorry should clarify. It's a 5 minute drive but longer in traffic. He's thrown up once on the journey in no traffic, a few times when it's stop start-y.

It's a 20-25 min walk to his nursery which is on the way to my work, so walking would make my commute much much harder (but cleaning up vomit doesn't exactly make it easy either!)

OP posts:
SerendipitySunshine · 22/01/2022 21:00

We have similar issues, and it turned out it wasnt the car seat, but the driver. We thought DC was feeling and being sick due to RF as it only happened in that car (our other car seat is FF). It turned out, when the drivers were swapped, the sickness swapped too, and was actually worse in the FF seat! Stop start traffic is really hard, and it was my relative's heavy footed driving making the DC sick, not being RF.

MacaroniCheeseCat · 22/01/2022 21:00

You’re right, the Axkid seats don’t have a forward facing option. We have the Axkid Move and I do not envy you having to deal with daily vomits….getting the cover off is a nightmare.

In your position, I would ask friends and family whether anyone has a forward facing seat they could lend you for a few days or a week (covered with plastic and a towel in case the worst happens!). You’d be surprised how many people have a different seat for each car or one for the grandparents’ car, etc. If so, just check it’s compatible with your car and try it.

If not, you could buy something like a Joie Stages which can also be used as a high back booster when he’s bigger.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 22/01/2022 21:01

*The axkid minikid'

Sorry totally spaced out there as you did in fact say that in the first post Grin.

Definitely see if you could know anyone who could lend you a seat and commit to cleaning it if needed to test if it will actually help.

OfstedOffred · 22/01/2022 21:01

This is a 2.5 year old, not a baby.

Can you get a good quality FF seat with decent side protection for shorter journeys and perhaps just use the axkid when you are planning a longer journey involving higher speeds?

But don't beat yourself up. The UK has low rates of car accidents especially child fatalities. ERF makes an already low risk a bit lower.

I had no choice but to ff my child at 3 because he was very tall in the torso and we literally could not fit any ERF seat that would fit him behind 6ft 4 DH. Younger sibling had to be prioritised for RF seat behind me.

jazzandh · 22/01/2022 21:01

I forward faced from a year and put mine in the front seat as well. He is still here at 11 to tell the tale and actually enjoys being in the car! There is a risk assessment v actual enjoyment if travel to be had!

Change123today · 22/01/2022 21:01

@carseatnightmare
This might sound stupid! But do you have a glass roof type car? That made my daughter travel sick worse !
We only realised when we had a new car without it - car sick didn’t go away but definitely reduced on short journeys! Looking at window helps but the roof thing Nope!!

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 21:02

@Bywayofanupdate

Sorry to say that we have just forward faced our car sick child and he is still car sick 🤮 also voms on the way to nursery. We just wrap him in towels now
Sorry to hear you're the same.

Can I ask a side question- does nursery know about your child's car sickness? Every time it's happened so far I've thankfully had time to clean him up properly before drop off, but I'm paranoid that one day it'll be obvious he's been sick, or he'll tell them and they'll send him home thinking he's ill!

I know it's a stupid worry!

OP posts:
WhenTheyComeForYou · 22/01/2022 21:03

Have you asked in the Facebook group for extended rear facing?

Have you tried opening his window?
Giving him something to distract him?
Put sun shields on the windows so he can't see out well?
Kept the car cool

If you've tried everything and still he's sick, then YANBU to turn him.

We have an Axkid Minikid for our baby to go into soon and my 3.5 yr old is still rear facing. But he's happy rear facing. If he was sick every journey with no solution, I'd probably turn him too to be honest.

Policyschmolicy · 22/01/2022 21:04

It made a massive difference to my travel sick child. Didn’t stop it completely but changed form it being a dead cert that he would be sick on every journey to just sometimes being sick.

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 21:05

[quote Change123today]@carseatnightmare
This might sound stupid! But do you have a glass roof type car? That made my daughter travel sick worse !
We only realised when we had a new car without it - car sick didn’t go away but definitely reduced on short journeys! Looking at window helps but the roof thing Nope!![/quote]
Not stupid at all! Sadly no glass roof here.

OP posts:
saraclara · 22/01/2022 21:05

One of the major causes of accidents is the driver being distracted/unfocused. There's no way I could be certain of driving safely if I was constantly checking my child or being distracted by vomiting sounds.

I'd lay a large bet on the risk of an accident/injury in this situation being far higher if he continues to be rear facing.

WhenTheyComeForYou · 22/01/2022 21:05

Also though - test him in a FF carseat, maybe a friend's, before you commit to turning him. You may find he's sick facing either way

Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 21:06

@WhenTheyComeForYou

Have you asked in the Facebook group for extended rear facing?

Have you tried opening his window?
Giving him something to distract him?
Put sun shields on the windows so he can't see out well?
Kept the car cool

If you've tried everything and still he's sick, then YANBU to turn him.

We have an Axkid Minikid for our baby to go into soon and my 3.5 yr old is still rear facing. But he's happy rear facing. If he was sick every journey with no solution, I'd probably turn him too to be honest.

Thank you. I'll ask there but I've seen that often posts don't get published for several weeks/months in that group.

Will definitely try keeping his window open a bit.

OP posts:
Original poster
carseatnightmare · 22/01/2022 21:07

Thanks for everyone suggesting we ask a friend for a forward facing one to try- that's a very good shout.

Will try keeping his window open a bit first (without freezing him!) and then borrowing a car seat if necessary to trial.

OP posts:
SerendipitySunshine · 22/01/2022 21:10

I know it's hard when you're in stop start traffic but really gentle acceleration and braking makes a massive difference. DC are literally never sick with me driving but regularly sick with a relative's driving. I get travel sick as a passenger too, but only with some drivers.

Sexnotgender · 22/01/2022 21:11

@SerendipitySunshine

We have similar issues, and it turned out it wasnt the car seat, but the driver. We thought DC was feeling and being sick due to RF as it only happened in that car (our other car seat is FF). It turned out, when the drivers were swapped, the sickness swapped too, and was actually worse in the FF seat! Stop start traffic is really hard, and it was my relative's heavy footed driving making the DC sick, not being RF.
Funny you say that. I have NEVER been travel sick. Was in the car with FIL feeling horribly nauseous and thought wtf? Turns out he drives in the most bizarre fashion almost seesawing his foot on the accelerator. Vom…
CornishTiger · 22/01/2022 21:12

There’s a post about this in the files section of the group.

However my advice is put mirror in middle on an angle. Remove headrest from the vehicle seat he is on so he gets a better view and block out the two side windows.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/01/2022 21:14

I would turn him around.

I appreciate the dangers, but as a car sick person myself the idea fo going backwards would just be unbearable.

Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 22/01/2022 21:14

The only thing that ever helped my car sickness was sitting in the front seat. And travel sickness tablets. Although I do think I remember sucking on ice helped, used to get a cup of ice from mcdonalds.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/01/2022 21:15

To be fair some drivers do drive in an incredibly sicky way so that is a point.

My mum and my exh being two prime examples.