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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 'career' makes me mentally ill

94 replies

babyblueblush · 22/01/2022 20:28

Hello.

I've been a nurse for two years now and I hate it. It makes me unwell, mentally and physically. I am burnt out, I am tired, I am fed up and I can't cope anymore.

AIBU? To leave it all behind and do something else. Im only 25 so I have my whole life ahead.. I have a child and a mortgage so I do have bills to pay. Finding another job that pays may be hard. However, I do believe my health is more important?

I've tried many aspects of nursing and it doesn't change how I feel? Due to covid, it's ruined me. All nurses I speak to say these are the worst times they've seen and I don't see it getting better..

People may say- keep at it, things will improve? I honestly don't think this will make a difference. The damage is done.

The guilt I feel for even thinking about leaving. In a career that is already understaffed is the only thing stopping me from doing it.

What can I do.. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place but wanting so hard to escape and not have that level of stress hanging over me.

OP posts:
SirSamuelVimes · 22/01/2022 20:31

Not a nurse but I was in a similar position as a teacher. I wish I had left it sooner. Make a plan to get out - you only get one life, you don't need to spend it like this.

MsMeNz · 22/01/2022 20:32

Firstly, thank you for your service x
You ahve pit in your years on the front line, why not get into something like doing Botox injections? The lovely nurse who does mine was just like you twenty plus years of hard nursing, she did her course to do Botox and fillers and makes three times as much as she did before working half the time.

Also if you don't like that idea try working for a private company taht specialises in something that would involve the aspects if the job you hate. Good luck and make a plan to exit!

MsMeNz · 22/01/2022 20:33

Sorry for the typos! I hope you get the drift of what I was saying 🤦

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 22/01/2022 20:35

Is it nursing or is it the NHS? Either way, you absolutely should change things if you’re unhappy.

Haggisfish3 · 22/01/2022 20:35

The lady who burned my moles off was an ex nurse. Making an absolute packet doing minor procedures like that.

Totalwasteofpaper · 22/01/2022 20:38

Life is too short!!!

Definitely leave.
could you look at moving laterally into something in beauty or aesthetics? Or do you want to do something totally different?

Fallible · 22/01/2022 20:38

Yeah, just go if you have tried a few different areas already. (Outpatients, Community etc, not just wards) I've been doing it for almost 20 years now and it just slowly gets worse and worse.

Im just on the bank doing part time work since having my kids so it's fine, but I'd hate to be contracted to a ward these days.

Plantpot75 · 22/01/2022 20:39

I left nursing 7 years ago and I have to say I have regretted it sometimes. I totally understand where you are coming from but whatever you do I would make sure you keep up your registration (I didn’t regretfully) This gives you options down the line with agency work which would enable you to pick shifts that suit you which would be great if you had kids in the future. The other thing to bear in mind is that other jobs can be just as stressful especially if you gravitate towards working with people. I work in children’s services now and much like nursing it is understaffed and stressful. However the pay and pension are less and there is no pay scale to move up.
I really do understand how you feel, I would just keep your options open in terms of your registration. Good luck x

polkadotpixie · 22/01/2022 20:40

What about aesthetics...Botox/fillers/permanent make up etc? There's good money in it and being a qualified nurse will definitely attract customers

BlowDryRat · 22/01/2022 20:40

YANBU. How about moving into a clinical advisor role at a pharma/medical device company? Those positions typically pay very nicely.

IWentAwayIStayedAway · 22/01/2022 20:41

School nurse?

Original poster
babyblueblush · 22/01/2022 20:43

@MsMeNz

Firstly, thank you for your service x You ahve pit in your years on the front line, why not get into something like doing Botox injections? The lovely nurse who does mine was just like you twenty plus years of hard nursing, she did her course to do Botox and fillers and makes three times as much as she did before working half the time.

Also if you don't like that idea try working for a private company taht specialises in something that would involve the aspects if the job you hate. Good luck and make a plan to exit!

I have looked into Botox injections. However where I live, small rural town, I feel there is a LOT of people doing it and I worry if I put the money, time and effort in, I may not get the custom due to it being overcrowded.
OP posts:
Original poster
babyblueblush · 22/01/2022 20:44

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

Is it nursing or is it the NHS? Either way, you absolutely should change things if you’re unhappy.
I believe the NHS plays a huge role however I know changing to agency etc, it's still the same outcome. Understaffed and dangerous.
OP posts:
Original poster
babyblueblush · 22/01/2022 20:44

@Totalwasteofpaper

Life is too short!!!

Definitely leave.
could you look at moving laterally into something in beauty or aesthetics? Or do you want to do something totally different?

I have looked at injections. However there is quite a lot of people doing this in my area. It scares me that it wouldn't be worth it.
OP posts:
Original poster
babyblueblush · 22/01/2022 20:45

@Plantpot75

I left nursing 7 years ago and I have to say I have regretted it sometimes. I totally understand where you are coming from but whatever you do I would make sure you keep up your registration (I didn’t regretfully) This gives you options down the line with agency work which would enable you to pick shifts that suit you which would be great if you had kids in the future. The other thing to bear in mind is that other jobs can be just as stressful especially if you gravitate towards working with people. I work in children’s services now and much like nursing it is understaffed and stressful. However the pay and pension are less and there is no pay scale to move up. I really do understand how you feel, I would just keep your options open in terms of your registration. Good luck x
Thank you.

I am due to revalidate this year so I think whatever choice I make, I will do it and at least it does give me options if it doesn't work out..

OP posts:
Original poster
babyblueblush · 22/01/2022 20:46

@IWentAwayIStayedAway

School nurse?
I recently applied for a job as a school nurse however I was declined for the job as I didn't have 'experience' in this field.. Confused

Where I live - small rural town in Scotland, there doesn't seem to be many opportunities given to 'young new nurses' if that makes sense.

OP posts:
Lemonpink88 · 22/01/2022 20:52

I’m a nurse & Iv similar set up - kids, mortgage etc. I burnt out on the wards about 7 years ago. I’m 34 now & went into the community, hated the lack of clinical challenges at first but long story short I now work within local authority in a specialist safeguarding role. There’s still a lot of same old staffing, financial pressures but it’s an improvement & I feel my work is very worthwhile. I hope you can find what your looking for, no job is worth your mental well-being how you are describing yours is, especially if you have little ones to take care of too.

Hairyfairy01 · 22/01/2022 20:58

With respect, as you have been a nurse for 2 years, and over covid, I find it hard to see how you have tried many different jobs within nursing. Covid has been a nightmare, I don't think you can class they last 2 years as 'normal' and I feel very sorry for newly qualified nurses because of this. Have you thought about community nursing, becoming a health visitor, working in orthopaedics, stroke, cardiology, private sector etc. you have many different options with nursing. You have clearly worked hard to pass your nursing course, don't be too quick to give it all up.

Lynseylou1 · 22/01/2022 21:01

definitely try a different type of nursing g before you decide to leave the profession completely as it may be that the area your working in now isn't a good match for you but that's not to say you won't love something else.

sunnybunnyy · 22/01/2022 21:06

@polkadotpixie

What about aesthetics...Botox/fillers/permanent make up etc? There's good money in it and being a qualified nurse will definitely attract customers
Definitely a good idea, I've had Botox done by a nurse and she's always booked up and I'm sure she's making a lot of money
godmum56 · 22/01/2022 21:09

not going to say how I know apart from its via a couple of friends but there are plenty of private jobs out there for qualified validated nurses.....maybe less where you live but look beyond botox....maybe search for agencies who supply private nursing services or look at working for private GP services....is moving an option?

A580Hojas · 22/01/2022 21:10

How can you be sure it is your job making you unwell? Do you have experience of other work? All jobs have their own stresses.

I guess what you have to do is think long and hard about what you'd rather be doing for 40 hours a week (or whatever it is), research it thoroughly and have an honest think about it you could cope in that environment, find another job and leave nursing. You don't need to feel guilty about it.

jenniesgame · 22/01/2022 21:10

Think what aspect of the job you do enjoy and what you find burns you out. Is it the understaffing , the shift work and general pressure?. Do you enjoy the physical care of the patients, or the liaising with relatives other health workers etc.? Is it too physically demanding? Have you tried working in a nursing home where you are likely to be the single qualified nurse on shift, doing medications and overseeing the care staff (you could always do a few agency shifts to try different areas. I agree after only 2 years your experience is going to be limited, and with covid it must have been horrendous. I assume you are a qualified nurse with a degree.

Meezer2 · 22/01/2022 21:11

Babyblue have you considered working in theatres as a scrub nurse?

I love it as you only have one patient at any time on the operating table to look after.

You'd be fully trained etc. I love it

Namenic · 22/01/2022 21:14

I left nhs (not nurse). I thought about it for more than 3 years and looked on jobs website for alternative jobs (and started hobby coding). Eventually I found a great opportunity in IT - much more relaxed.

Your job opportunities may be dependent on location - so look at what is available in your area - some places have research nursing; clinical trials; occupational health; travel clinics. Or there might be nursing at private hospital. Good luck!