Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

[MadeinSW3]

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

God MN is grim

Yes, isn't it just. Full of judgemental, sanctimonious pricks.

Maybe that's not what you meant though.

@Hospedia

But by the same token, being a parent of babies and small children means you don't get to have an uninterrupted meal

Pahahahahahaha.

No.

Just ... no.

I did not cease to be an autonomous being with my own needs just because I happened to produce children and I openly admit I dont always put my DC first because sometimes I need to put myself first. I eat my food hot and, unless someone is dying or the building is on fire, I brook no interruptions.

Exactly.

Being a parent doesn’t mean you don’t have your own needs and there are no prizes for being a martyr.

A child isn’t going to suffer because parents eat a meal while it’s hot, or go to the toilet alone or even just sit down for 5 minutes while their child is distracted even if that distraction is in the form of a screen!

@Fhjutftjvddww

God MN is grim.

Yet here you are.

@TimBoothseyes that’s why she’s here

Mind your business

@Fhjutftjvddww

God MN is grim.

Are you being held here against your will or have your tofu shoes been melted by your tears of anguish at all these children being exposed to some flashing LEDs occasionally?

So nice the subject of conversation hasn't turned into a slanging match.

@Fhjutftjvddww

God MN is grim.

You do know you don't HAVE to be here, right?

I can bet when plastic toys (even worse, interactive ones like tills) first replaced wooden ones there were people Pearl clutching about them not being good for kids or traditional and parents who use them are lazy because they're not actively playing with the child but letting the child play with the toy on their own

I have seen posts on MN over the years about how wooden toys are better for children's development because they're feeling the wood grain/texture and using their imagination for the noise/lights/other functions.

This thread feels like a council-run parenting course when they go around the circle and people say what they do and the trainers makes neutral sounds of acknowledgement. It is grim and depressing like most of MN.

Ah so it's classism now too? What exactly is wrong with council-run parenting courses?

Full disclosure: I'm going on one next week. I have a DC going through a difficult time, he's autistic and not coping well with puberty, the school health team are going to do some emotional literacy work with him and I asked if they had any courses about parenting teens because information gathering can be helpful when it's a new developmental stage. I've also done a cygnet course aimed at parenting autistic children which was also council-run.

So please, do elaborate on what is wrong with parents seeking support and why are council-run courses somehow inferior?

@KosherDill

Shameful and there really is no excuse. Children shouldn't even see a screen till 3-4 years old.

Can you tell me how this works? Do you throw a cloak over the telly even when it's off? What about when it's on? Do you have to keep the child in a separate room?

Sorry but some of these responses can't be for real. I lived at home with my parents when my first baby was born, I couldn't exactly tell my mum and dad to turn the telly off in their own home, so for DD1 to not have seen a screen until she was 3/4 she'd have had to live upstairs until we moved out 😂

What about a mobile phone, when you're using it around an under 4, should it be held at an angle at all times and hidden from view when not in use so they can't see the screen at all? How does this work in real life?

@KurtWilde

It also doesn’t really work for when you have older children who are allowed television. I wouldn’t personally watch tv myself during the day but older siblings are allowed (and I see what you mean if you are staying with someone else).

Wow this tells me you either don’t have a baby or any babies you’ve had were fairly easy to keep happy. Don’t be so judgemental, you’ve no idea what they do with baby every other hour of the day and like others have said this might be the only way to keep baby from screaming throughout the meal, it might be the first time mum or dad has sat down to eat without holding baby for weeks or even ever, baby might’ve crying day in and out for seven months and this is the first time they’ve made it out. Just don’t judge other people wheny don’t have any idea what their lives are like.

[quote Piglet89]@FOTTFSOFTFOASM - you were a SAHM?!

Would have been much more positive for your children to have had an independent maternal role model who worked. Also, 1800 is an incredibly early bedtime.

Not nice being judged, is it? And there are SO many factors upon which mothers can judge other mothers, it seems.[/quote]
Um... I don't feel in the slightest bit judged by any of that.

I found a good balance between putting the children first and not martyring myself. If parents want to have a child-free supper without interruptions, taking a baby to Pizza Express isn't the way to achieve this. If they take the baby/children, they have to do the parenting bit.

@Fhjutftjvddww not just judgy, I see: a judgy snob.

@FOTTFSOFTFOASM

Um... I don't feel in the slightest bit judged by any of that.

Ah, I see: presumably, you’re saying, “I don’t care what you think about my life choices”.

Right back atcha.

And if you fully expected never to eat an uninterrupted meal while your children were little, you really didn’t find “a good balance between putting the children first and not martyring myself”.

This thread feels like a council-run parenting course when they go around the circle and people say what they do and the trainers makes neutral sounds of acknowledgement. It is grim and depressing like most of MN

How would you know that a council-run parenting course is actually like this? Unless of course you've either been on one or you were on of the trainers.

*one

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]**@FOTTFSOFTFOASM* @MondayYogurt*

Totally agree with you both. People do seem to love boasting on MN about how feckless they are as if it’s extremely cool - the lazier you are, the better. Why should have children change your life etc etc

In reality it should and does change your life if you actually bother with parenting! It’s not being a “martyr” it’s just being a decent parent and human being 🤦🏻‍♀️☺️[/quote]
Sorry do you actually have any idea what anyone else’s lives are like? My 7mo genuinely cried pretty much constantly for the first 5 months of her life despite the fact I would’ve given my soul to make her happy. Endless doctors appointments and a and e trips, calls to health visitors, cranial osteopaths, dieticians, paediatricians and nothing is wrong with her she’s just a high needs baby and still is. I spend all day every day trying to make her happy, she has everything she could ever want and need. We go to classes, read books, play games, do tummy time, she has loving family to come and see her, play dates, sensory time etc etc. It makes me really sad to think if I was out in a restaurant and I wanted to put something on my phone for ten minutes for her to watch while I ate without bobbing her on my lap that there would be who would judge me without knowing anything about the last 7 months of my life. It’s got nothing to do with just expecting having a baby not to change your life and being a decent human being and stop judging other people you know nothing about.

If you felt that strongly why didn't you go over to them and question their parenting?

@Peaplant20

Sounds exactly like both of my children. Except the second one also had a life threatening condition and was in constant pain until his surgery at 10 months. I didn’t consider it Martyring myself to get pizza express delivered to the house at times when it wasn’t possible to go out to eat. Believe me I had trips to cafes etc where he screamed in pain so I had to immediately leave. Or with my first who just crawled from 5 months and never sat still so was bored and needed constant entertaining.

I still wouldn’t use an iPad or a phone. I just wouldn’t go if they weren’t placated by toys. It’s not hard to understand - I think iPads etc at the table are abhorrent 🤷🏻‍♀️

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@KurtWilde

It also doesn’t really work for when you have older children who are allowed television. I wouldn’t personally watch tv myself during the day but older siblings are allowed (and I see what you mean if you are staying with someone else).[/quote]
Exactly. Should I have moved into the other room with my under 4s while my older ones had screen time, or banned my older ones from having the tv on when the younger ones were in the room??

Meanwhile, back in the real world..