Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

[MadeinSW3]

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

@buckingmad

Went for dinner last night, plonked my 6 month old in the high chair with Hey Bear sensory video on my phone. Got to eat my whole meal with two hands and whilst it was still hot. I spent the other 23 hours of the day tending to her every whim and she is the most loved baby in the world.

Do I give a flying feck what some sad, middle aged, judgemental passerby thinks? Absolutely not.

Perfectly put.

@allbartwo

I'm still not sure what the difference is between a screen and a rattle or a squeaky toy is to a 7 month old.

What else can you do with a 7 month old in this situation?

In my experience, say 'no' a lot as you remove the cutlery, the menu and many other things from their undiscerning grasp.

Maybe it's just my child (and I'm a failure as a parent) but until recently my interactions with them in restaurants have generally consisted of some combination of the following:
'Please sit nicely on your seat' followed by 'Bottom on your seat NOW'. Followed by retrieving the offender before they take out an unsuspecting waiter with a tray of hot soup.
'If you sit nicely on your seat, we can have ice-cream for pudding'.
'Try to keep the crayons on the table, sweetie'.
'Crayons are for colouring, not for eating'.
'Don't spit the crayons onto the table. Use a napkin if you don't actually want to eat the crayons.'
(To the waiter) 'Can we have some more napkins, please. My DC has just spilt their milk and their napkin has pieces of chewed up crayon in it.'
'We don't sit under the table, sweetie. Come sit at table'.
'The food's arrived. Please come out from under the table.'
'If you find any food under the table, please don't eat it'.
'I'm not sure teddy likes pizza, sweetie'.
'Oh, teddy does like pizza, does he? He likes it so much that he's face down in it.'
'It's a shame teddy's light blue, isn't it? Why couldn't teddy be dark brown instead of pastel colours?'
'Does teddy like washing-machines?'
'Let's put teddy in a plastic bag for now, shall we? No, not the one with the new clothes in it!!'
'Salt and pepper are for food. I'm not sure the table needs to be seasoned'.
'DON'T put salt on your food.'
'Don't put salt on MY food.'
'That's a pepper grinder. You have to turn it for it to work'.
'Don't put pepper all over the table'.

Sometimes screens are an act of mercy all round.

At least you can physically restrain a 7mo. The first thing I used to do with mine at that age was clear everything on the table out of their reach. DC used to resent this hugely and scream and wail.

To my mind a lot of these people who ‘need’ screens have got themselves in a vicious circle - they found it was an easy way out once or twice and have become dependent on it (and therefore so have their children). It is the parent’s decision not the child’s and I feel sorry for children who are pushed aside in this way (and anyone who thinks they don’t notice is a fool).

@Fhjutftjvddww

To my mind a lot of these people who ‘need’ screens have got themselves in a vicious circle - they found it was an easy way out once or twice and have become dependent on it (and therefore so have their children). It is the parent’s decision not the child’s and I feel sorry for children who are pushed aside in this way (and anyone who thinks they don’t notice is a fool).

I agree with this. I hate seeing children watching screens in restaurants.

[quote Piglet89]@FOTTFSOFTFOASM you genuinely didn’t get to have an uninterrupted meal when your kids were little (like, didn’t you have dinner after your children went to sleep?)

Also, if they’re now all adults, it’s likely you have actually forgotten just how all-consuming and relentless parenting little ones can be.

Finally, screens weren’t even an option for you. You’re claiming that, had they been, you’d never have used them?[/quote]
Of course I had an uninterrupted meal when the children were little. I was a SAHM and the DC were all in bed by 6, precisely so I could have an uninterrupted dinner with XH. However, when we went out (which was invariably to PE, as it was local and quick), we took the DC with us as we had no local family to babysit. Therefore we included them in the event and engaged with them.

I do remember well how tiring it was to be colouring in, playing games etc in restaurants. One of mine has what was then called high-functioning Asperger's, so I know more than many parents about dealing with demanding children. But I do know that I am very strongly opposed to screen culture (I don't have a phone myself, and expect my young adult DC to put their phones down when we're eating or talking), so I don't think I'd have gone down that route even if it had been available. Televisions/DVDs were very definitely around when mine were little, and I didn't use those, so I suspect I'd have eschewed ipads/phones, too.

I agree. Damaging for babies to be plonked in front of a screen like that. What's next, a bottle of Coke to suck on?

@Yumperwumpee

People can disagree with me all they like, and as ridiculously as they like, but they are merely doing so to try to make themselves feel better. That is very much their issue, not mine.

How's that then, as my 6 year old doesn't do screens, and I still don't agree with you. So how am I trying to make myself feel better?

You're not!

For fuck sake at 7 months should have been coco melon! Horrific

@Goldbar same. I don’t want to engage in this pantomime on the very rare times we eat out; it is highly tedious and stressful.

@buckingmad

Went for dinner last night, plonked my 6 month old in the high chair with Hey Bear sensory video on my phone. Got to eat my whole meal with two hands and whilst it was still hot. I spent the other 23 hours of the day tending to her every whim and she is the most loved baby in the world.

Do I give a flying feck what some sad, middle aged, judgemental passerby thinks? Absolutely not.

I agree with you except I don't think age, as in your middle aged above, is the issue at all with the judgemental, critical and holier-than-thou posters. Such posters almost certainly cross all the ages.

And in future, please be careful not to plonk your precious one into a highchair as plonking also seemed to be used to add judgement in the OP. In future, you must lower her extremely slowly and gently in, to the sound of classical music and a choir.

[quote Piglet89]@FOTTFSOFTFOASM you genuinely didn’t get to have an uninterrupted meal when your kids were little (like, didn’t you have dinner after your children went to sleep?)

Also, if they’re now all adults, it’s likely you have actually forgotten just how all-consuming and relentless parenting little ones can be.

Finally, screens weren’t even an option for you. You’re claiming that, had they been, you’d never have used them?[/quote]
I have DC under 5 have not once used a screen in a restaurant (or anywhere else for that matter) and we have always had dinner with our DC, not after they have gone to bed. Children are part of the family not an inconvenience to be managed.

[quote Scrunchies]@SuitcaseOfWhine this sounds like my DD and as she’s my first I often feel like I’ve failed, as nothing I can do really will placate her. She just wants to be on the move/ running/ climbing constantly. Do you feel like it gets better? Any tips?[/quote]
He's still not great and is definitely in the terrible two stage. We tend to go to pubs with a little play area, or yes, I will use my phone if we are inside so he doesn't disturb other people. We have given up on camping as he kept running off. He is just that sort of kid that wants to explore and loves music and likes instruments, so he gets quite a lot from watching songs and rhymes. He is non verbal and has big tantrums too, so I think if I let him be him instead of using a screen people would moan about that too. They just want to feel superior.

My eldest was never like this, never watched a screen in a restaurant and is very well behaved. Both parented in similar ways, just used more screen time for youngest as he has a more difficult temperament.

This particular baby is too young to draw or read or discuss the food. What's wrong with using modern technology to keep them happy for a bit so you can eat with both hands? Why is that worse than a rattle or soft toy?

We used to play wave sounds through a speaker to to try and get mine to sleep. Should I have sat in her room with a bowl of water instead?

[quote Piglet89]@Goldbar same. I don’t want to engage in this pantomime on the very rare times we eat out; it is highly tedious and stressful.[/quote]
Well if you don’t teach them they won’t learn - it is as simple as that.

Children are part of the family not an inconvenience to be managed.

Mate I don't even want to eat with my husband half the time. A night in front of the telly alone with a meal for one is JOY for me.

@FOTTFSOFTFOASM - you were a SAHM?!

Would have been much more positive for your children to have had an independent maternal role model who worked. Also, 1800 is an incredibly early bedtime.

Not nice being judged, is it? And there are SO many factors upon which mothers can judge other mothers, it seems.

Well if you don’t teach them they won’t learn - it is as simple as that.

People trot this claptrap out ALL THE TIME.

We will teach him. Just not at 2.5 when he’s simply not interested in listening to our learned teachings, FFS.

If they had the sound on then YADNBU.

all in bed by 6, precisely

@allbartwo

This particular baby is too young to draw or read or discuss the food. What's wrong with using modern technology to keep them happy for a bit so you can eat with both hands? Why is that worse than a rattle or soft toy?

We used to play wave sounds through a speaker to to try and get mine to sleep. Should I have sat in her room with a bowl of water instead?

This is quite funny - maybe a wheelie bin for a echo and wheel pivot.

"I agree with this. I hate seeing children watching screens in restaurants."

Probably best you don't go out then. Everyone wins.

Well if you don’t teach them they won’t learn - it is as simple as that.

There comes a point at which they are ready to learn. For my DC, this was at around 3.5. Now we get occasional slumping down under the table or lying on the seats and DC likes to use the menu to make a car track, but the behaviour on the whole is much improved.

Although my DC would fit right in on this thread with all the judgement. Nowadays DC enjoys pointing out loudly when other babies or children are being 'naughty' while simultaneously rejecting the suggestion that they ever behaved in this way.

Maybe restaurants should start banning screen use - not a bad business idea - everyone locks away their phones and devices. You could have an old school paging system in case of urgent messages.

I watched a programme on child development a couple of years ago. Maybe Channel 4- comparing babies who were using screens/iPads and those who weren’t.
I watched the show thinking the screen babies are going to be so delayed in their development- nope. The iPad babies had better motor skills, balance and focus.

I have a 3 month old and I like to show her YouTube videos of ocean life- they have chilled music and it’s slow moving and the turtles just swim and she loves it - she laughs, babbles and it is often one of the only things that can calm her.
Hey bear tv is also good but I only use that for the lullabies.