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AIBU?

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Original poster

Horrified at 7month old in pizza express with screen

999 replies

MadeinSW3 · 22/01/2022 15:00

I went for lunch today at pizza express, there was a couple giving their ?7month old a bottle with a screen propped up with something Disney to watch. They then plopped baby into high chair and put something else on during whole time at the stable. How can people be so stupid! The baby was looking around elsewhere for something more interesting.

OP posts:
Fairylightsongs · 22/01/2022 22:25

Because some people actually give a shit about children even if they're not their own

Then they’d know they can’t judge based on an hour or two in pizza express. If they really have a shit that is.

SynchOrSwim · 22/01/2022 22:25

@JigglyPiggly go on the primary education board and it's mostly about prep schools, 7+, etc. Mumsnet comes a Ross quite middle class to me.

SynchOrSwim · 22/01/2022 22:25

*across

Momicrone · 22/01/2022 22:26

This is a forum for discussing different parenting issues, surely? This one has obviously touched a nerve

AnaBananas · 22/01/2022 22:26

@Pfbing

I've got a 5 month old, very much wanted IVF baby. I'm on maternity leave and spend all day playing with her. We read, we sing, we go for walks, we play with musical instruments, we go to baby classes, swimming lessons...you get the picture. But I also have PND and am struggling with breast feeding through allergys for DC. Eating out is something me and DH did alot pre children and something I miss alot. Pizza express are actually fabulous with allergies and DH has taken us there a few times over the last few months when I've been struggling with allergy stuff and missing being able to go to a resturant and make a choice without feeling the guilt of it potentially harming my DC. Eating is a very triggering subject for me and my PND right now. So now I read your post. I have been that parent. I've sat in pizza express and played baby sensory you tube videos for DC so I could eat a meal. Thankfully not today otherwise I'd have been in floods of tears thinking you where villifying me specifically. It wasn't me today, but it was someone. Someone who is parenting, their way not yours. Someone who could be reading your post and now be questioning their parenting skills. You have me questioning myself!!! But I know that what you saw was a tiny snapshot of that family and you are just a judgemental ass hat.
Don't let anyone put you down about your parenting skills and don't feel guilty. You seem to be doing a fab job in your circumstances!
GrannytoaUnicorn · 22/01/2022 22:26

@BobbyeinArkansas

I’d also judge them OP. I wouldn’t be horrified but I generally (privately) judge people who bring screens to restaurants.
@Giraffesandbottoms How the HELL do you know what that child is like? How the HELL do you know whether that parent has anxiety and is worried about people judging them for their child disturbing them? Jesus fucking Christ parents cannot do right for doing wrong.
GrannytoaUnicorn · 22/01/2022 22:28

@CeeCeeDeeBee

I'm always surprised at people saying "don't judge" at situations like this. I definitely judge, and I think it's really sad to put such a small baby in front of a screen.

Though I actually don't think screens belong in restaurants at all. Kids can't learn how to behave if you don't talk to them and teach them how.

Right so my 7yr old with Autism & ADD who becomes overwhelmed in public without direct distraction, should just stay at home should she????? How the FUCKING FUCK do you know which child has special needs and who doesn't? My daughter also has Tourette's and would start LOUDLY ticking and squealing if she didn't have her white noise videos in front of her when in noisy places. Prefer that would you?
BastilleBastille · 22/01/2022 22:32

Seriously? Get your head out of your hole.

Don’t be so judgemental. It’s because of people like you mums end up being so hard on themselves thinking they aren’t allowed to check out for just a few minutes to get a break.

At the end of the day each to their own. Every child is different and just because your child could maybe sit quietly without it doesn’t mean theirs could. The poor sods were probably just trying to get a few minutes to get some pizza down their neck before the child kicked off.

Bet you don’t have the balls on you to say it to their faces either. Nah you’d rather come home and post on mumsnet to have a good bitch about it instead.

allbartwo · 22/01/2022 22:32

I'm still not sure what the difference is between a screen and a rattle or a squeaky toy is to a 7 month old.

What else can you do with a 7 month old in this situation?

marpelier · 22/01/2022 22:33

To the pp that said no professional would recommend an ipad. My youngest had speech therapy as they had not started talking when they were about 18 months. Therapist recommended buying an ipad and loading "talking tom" where the child makes a noise and Tom repeats it. That child now 10, only really stops talking when they are reading or playing online games. People would faint at the amount of screentime they have had over the years.
Same child has also been skipped a grade in primary school and just been accepted into a very competitive extension programme. I do not understand the fear of screens. I was obsessed with reading as a child and would ignore everyone until I'd finished the book. I'm not sure the difference is as stark as people make it out to be. It's immersing yourself in a different world for a length of time. Lol at giving the 7 month a book. Unless the child is a genius that would be eaten or thrown in the pizza. Clipping toys to the chair works for a while but then they are staring at a twirly toy. Again, is that much different to staring at brightly patterned pictures on a screen.

I am assuming that the babies face wasn't superglued to the screen so they could look elsewhere if they wanted.

KurtWilde · 22/01/2022 22:35

Though I actually don't think screens belong in restaurants at all. Kids can't learn how to behave if you don't talk to them and teach them how.

Good lord Confused

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/01/2022 22:35

We don't do screens at the table when out but horrified is a ridiculous emotion to feel at it. Jeez- people just do what they need to do to get food in and who know what else they have done for the other 24 hours in the day.

Quit the judgement.

Blueberry00 · 22/01/2022 22:36

@WindyState

Yeah.... it's got nothing to do with giving a shit about other kids and everything to do with feeling superior.
I agree.

And it's never concern about children that are actually abused.

It's always got something to do with the kind of food you give them (I got judged for giving my baby HIPP baby food at the beginning, oh the horror), if you put your child in childcare, when you go back to work, if you allow children to use a screen....

Just things people judge you on so that they can feel better about themselves and their choices.

KurtWilde · 22/01/2022 22:36

@MrsGinnyM

I'm not saying that there are trolls on the thread, I'm really not, but there are certainly goady, argumentative sorts. Feed them if you like - propped up screens optional. Wink
Maybe not. But there's at least one sock puppet ..
Piglet89 · 22/01/2022 22:37

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz has it spot on.

“I don’t do it, for reasons personal to me - but you do you”.

Piglet89 · 22/01/2022 22:39

Incidentally: our son has little headphones to listen to his iPad progs on, so no disturbing other diners with noise from speakers. He might make noise while watching, shouting for Thomas or the Fat Controller or Percy or whatnot, but I make sure his pie hole is always rammed full of Whispa, so he can’t really speak.

Fhjutftjvddww · 22/01/2022 22:40

@allbartwo

I'm still not sure what the difference is between a screen and a rattle or a squeaky toy is to a 7 month old.

What else can you do with a 7 month old in this situation?

Development of depth of field vision, fine motor skills, that kind of thing.
Piglet89 · 22/01/2022 22:41

Development of depth of field vision, fine motor skills, that kind of thing.

This is like a sketch.

waitinginthecar · 22/01/2022 22:42

Parents need to learn how to entertain a baby with books and toys, not screens!! I'm totally with you OP.
We'll be in a restaurant and grandparents want to give 6 year old a screen... no... converse with them or they can draw or play eye spy or similar. Never screens unless a very long car journey and some chill out time at home. I flipping hate babies and children being shoved in front of phones.

allbartwo · 22/01/2022 22:47

I wouldn't give a 6 year old a screen in a restaurant, there is a bit of difference between a 6 year old and a 7 month old though!

Ajl46 · 22/01/2022 22:48

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@Ajl46

And when that doesn't work, books don't work and toys don't work, what then? Leave hungry I suppose?

I would ask for the food to go, yes. And then I would try again in a month or so.[/quote]
What if you couldn't leave without eating? For example, if you were diabetic and had pre-bolus injected your insulin already (as many need to do to avoid a post meal spike)? What then?
A simpler scenario - what if you didn't want to take a cold pizza home & try to reheat it, & instead just wanted 20 mins of peace to eat it?

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 22/01/2022 22:49

@Yumperwumpee

Also a 7 month old is hardly going to sit there and look at a book, are they.
The idea is that the parent... reads the book to/with the baby. I remember doing exactly this in Pizza Express some 20+ years ago. Yes, I did want to go out for a quick bite to eat that wasn't in my own kitchen, and where it wouldn't have mattered too much if the DC had squawked. But by the same token, being a parent of babies and small children means you don't get to have an uninterrupted meal, and if you want to go out, you have to strike a balance between keeping them entertained and having your dinner cooked by someone else in a different environment. To my mind, you either take them with you and engage with them (sing, read, talk), or you leave them at home, if that option is available to you (it wasn't available to us).
MrsGinnyM · 22/01/2022 22:49

Whispa
Wispa, for crying out loud. Careful, or this will be used as further evidence against educational and parental standards. Wink

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 22/01/2022 22:50

With older children - hangman, noughts and crosses, word games, Top Trumps, Old Maid. Not screens!

CowboyJo · 22/01/2022 22:51

@MrsGinnyM

Personally, I am HORRIFIED that OP went to Pizza Express for lunch!!! Disgraceful parental behaviour!!! Surely she should have been at home, making pizza from scratch as a more worthy parental activity?! I see you and I judge you, OP.
OP really shouldn't have been feeding her kids pizza either...everyone knows junk food is harmful and should never be eaten. Angry