Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you, or have you ever lived alone?

256 replies

velvet24 · 19/01/2022 20:12

I have not, home, uni, then home briefty and moved in with then bf now dh. I sometimes think how I would have liked to have my own apartment at some point and lived by myself, not get settled down at 21. Now it probably wont happen of course, just one of those things....i watch these dramas and feel a tiny ping of envy seeing someone going back to their own apartment, pouring their wine and just doing what they like! Of course wouldn't change my house of teens and pets and comings and goings but the thought of my 20's in my own apartment, would have been nice......

OP posts:
BriansTail · 19/01/2022 20:13

I did for 4 years. Loved it!

RedCandyApple · 19/01/2022 20:14

Yes,
Moved out at 16 lived alone till 22 before having children; now live on my own with my children

Lightstoobright · 19/01/2022 20:14

I live alone. It's blissful.
I don't think it would suit every personality type though.

DoubleYouOhEmAyEn · 19/01/2022 20:15

I lived on my own for a year or so in my 20s, it was bliss. I hope to do it again when my DCs grow up and move out.

Original poster
velvet24 · 19/01/2022 20:16

Think it would me as i love being by myself , but is that only as I don't get many opportunities by myself?

OP posts:
BitcherOfBlakiven · 19/01/2022 20:16

I moved out at 16, lived alone till 21.

Then alone again from 26 till now, I’m 35.

So I’ve lived alone for far more of my life!

Nishkin · 19/01/2022 20:16

Yes, after university until I moved in with dh at the age of 35 ( I had 2 relationships where we lived together of about a year each and about 14 months flat share in those 14 years)

I absolutely loved it. Damn sight more expensive than sharing but I love my own space

mjf981 · 19/01/2022 20:16

I did for 2 years in my 20s. Hated it. So lonely. Surprising really because I’m an introvert by nature.

Danikm151 · 19/01/2022 20:17

4 years until I had my son. I loved having my own space, inviting friends round whenever i wanted. Making it mine.

I remember when I was younger being told “everyone should live alone at one point in their lives” I loved it and set me up for later on in life.

Joxster · 19/01/2022 20:17

I’ve lived alone 3 or 4 times. Honestly it was great. Occasionally lonely but not very often at all. Mostly it felt peaceful and like I had my own nest to retreat to.

Love living with DP though, and get enough of my own time here to still feel like I have my own space.

Comedycook · 19/01/2022 20:18

I have done. Absolutely hated it despite being an introvert.

supermum87 · 19/01/2022 20:20

I did it for 4 years and loved it!

I sometimes day dream about me and DH buying a little flat in town and me being able to use it for some alone time.

But I've always loved my own company

ClariceQuiff · 19/01/2022 20:22

Yes - hard to judge the experience fairly, though as I was in a bedsit, not a proper flat or house. As bedsits go it was OK but I got really fed up of living in just one room.

RobertSmithsLipstick · 19/01/2022 20:24

For about 40 years, yes.
The only exception was that my ex used to come and stay here for a few weeks at a time, because we lived so far apart.

AsanteSana · 19/01/2022 20:25

Like mjf982 I am an introvert and have lived alone for most of my adult life - knocking on the door of 60 now. Much of the time I am happy alone, but, periodically, I am overcome by a desperate, overwhelming, crushing, soul destroying sense of lonliness and failure; particularly on birthdays and at Christmas, and try to make peace with the fact that it will be ever thus now

MaybeHeIsMyCat · 19/01/2022 20:25

Yep, never lived with anyone except in halls at uni. I'm 36

ISpyCobraKai · 19/01/2022 20:26

I live alone, I love it.
I'd never live with anyone again.

echt · 19/01/2022 20:26

I've lived alone in a bedsit inn my 20s for three years, and for four years in my first flat in my mid-30s. Loved it.

When I was married, DH and I always quite naturally gave each other space, so I never felt crowded. I was widowed at 61 and have lived alone for over five years. Covid has knocked a hole in the good sides of living alone, going out more, but I manage.

I agree with Danikm11 that living alone sets you up. While I'd obviously rather my DH was alive, I knew I could do it because I've done it before.

DontWantTheRivalry · 19/01/2022 20:27

I lived on my own for two years, when I was 23-25 years old and I really, really loved it.

sparklecrazy · 19/01/2022 20:28

Yes for about 8 years before meeting DH. Bloody loved it!

echt · 19/01/2022 20:29

I should add what ISpyKobraKai, said. The very idea of sharing my house with someone else is not for me at all. I could possibly stretch to entertain the idea of a gentleman caller, but living with someone? Nah.

Kite22 · 19/01/2022 20:29

I bought my own place, but I got myself a lodger after a few weeks, then, when she left (after a very happy 2 and 1/2 years) my dp (now dh) moved in, so I didn't really live completely on my own for that long Grin.

I think you might be looking in a bit of "grass is greener" sort of way..... it is expensive living alone.

EducatingArti · 19/01/2022 20:30

I have lived on my own for over 27 years.
Pros
You don't have to think about others but can do what you want when you want.
I'm an introvert so need/like having a lot of time and space to myself.
You don't have to negotiate routines ( eg cleaning/washing)with anyone else who does/thinks differently.
You can have you home decor how you want it without compromise ( see also cons)
Cons
It can get too isolating even for introvert. I need to schedule regular points in the week to see people.
There's only you to do/think about everything from washing/cooking/shopping to getting the car or boiler serviced. Noone to share the load.
There's noone to share the financial load either ( I know some couples are on 1 salary but lots aren't ) and while some things are more expensive for 2 than 1, others aren't eg home repairs, buying new carpets ( I so need some but don't have the ££££) heating bills etc.
There is no one for whom you are the number 1 priority. I have loads of friends but most have partners/children/parents that are their number 1 relationship, I am no one's number 1 ) may be more about being single and childless than actual living alone although they are connected)

FOJN · 19/01/2022 20:30

Lived alone for 11 years before marriage and 6 years since. I prefer living alone to sharing a house with anyone and can't imagine living with anyone again. I like having a sanctuary all to myself.

Flightywoman · 19/01/2022 20:30

Absolutely alone for most of 9 years. I've been single and lived in flat-shares, but I got my own place in 1997 and lived there on my own till 2006 when I got married - I moved to my husband's house a week before the wedding!

It was fun, mostly. Sometimes lonely. But if I put something down it stayed there. And if I wanted mash for supper and to go to bed at 7pm I could!

I loved it until I wanted something different. And I wouldn't swap my life now.