Mother's posting photos breastfeeding on social media?

[hardlythecinderellastory]

I understand it's natural and it should be normalised etc. But when I see it on my social media.. people who purposely post selfie's of themselves breastfeeding it makes me feel like shit as I failed both times at breastfeeding, the most recent times due to PND. I find it a bit "triggering" as it reminds me that I failed or didn't try hard enough. I think sometimes people feel so proud of BF'd that they don't think these photos might make other women feel a bit inferior. I don't post a bottle feeding photo as a) no one ever takes photos of me when I'm feeling her and b) I'd feel like it would be judged.
Is this an unreasonable opinion?

[quote Lifeisnteasy]@MarieIVanArkleStinks that makes no sense. If you’re pro-choice, as you say you are, then there is no ‘woeful’ breastfeeding rate - that’s your own projection, you deciding what should work best for everyone. I really think people trotting out the ‘woeful breast-feeding rate’ stuff need to mind their own business if I’m honest.[/quote]
I didn't say I was pro-choice. My position is much more disinterested. I don't have the remotest fascination in how you, or other mothers, chose to feed your kids; any more than you do in how I fed mine. It's interesting, though, how immediately defensive people sometimes become on the subject, and then turn it into the emotive issue it really isn't.

The UK has a statistically low BF rate; far lower than in Scandinavia, for example. So, if it's not working out for people then based on what they are telling us - the many mums like OP who would have liked to BF but struggled for whatever reason - then this might be an area in need of investment.

Your business is something I have no intention of minding, or in which I have even the slightest interest. HTH.

Completely unreasonable, sorry. On that basis, nobody would be allowed to post anything on social media.

I'm afraid that you kind of have to get a grip here and live your own life without finding offence in other people's. If you can't cope with seeing people doing things differently to you then perhaps social media is not for you.

With the greatest of respect OP, nobody should hide their successes just in case someone else didn’t achieve the same level of success. Rather than expecting breastfeeding women to STFU, we need to rewrite the narrative that not being able to breastfeed successfully is NOT a ‘failure’

Is this an unreasonable opinion?

Yes, it is.

You’re (presumably) an adult and responsible for your own emotions. Are you expecting ANYONE on social media to take responsibility for your feelings? That’s just daft and immature, and very self-centred.

Why shouldn’t they feel proud of breastfeeding? They may have had a difficult journey reaching that point, and see no need to cover up or hide it in case bottle-feeding women feel inferior. It’s like saying you shouldn’t dress your child in expensive clothes or buy a new pram in case it makes others feel inferior.

My objection wouldn’t be because it made me feel bad, but if I’m honest I don’t want to see a random colleague’s/acquaintance’s boob pop up in my newsfeed

I find it really odd women post photos online breastfeeding. It's not something (many) ff mothers do so why bf. To prove that they're doing it? It is just an attention thing and you're not wrong for how it makes you feel.

Is she insecure, OP?
Does she want your reassurance?
Is she generally some kind of show off?

I think of myself as an ardent breastfeeder -- but I never called myself superwoman for it. I don't know why your friend wants so much attention about it. Does sound a bit myopic, but makes sense if she is insecure deep down.

@MrsMiddleMother

I find it really odd women post photos online breastfeeding. It's not something (many) ff mothers do so why bf. To prove that they're doing it? It is just an attention thing and you're not wrong for how it makes you feel.

I appreciated people doing it when I had my first because I used to feel really self conscious breastfeeding in public. so seeing women casually breastfeeding, normalizing it as it were, actually done people like me a huge favour and made me realise there was nothing to be embarrassed about - all I was doing was feeding my baby.

It makes me so sad (as a mum who has just stopped feeding her 1 yr old) that I can't celebrate my success and the pride I feel that I achieved this, for the worry I may offend someone!

We wouldn't bat an eyelid if it was a promotion at work, passing a driving test, getting a good grade on an exam... all of which are things people feel proud of... in case someone didn't get the job, failed their driving test, got a lower grade... why is it different for breastfeeding?

I’ve noticed it’s only ever breastfeeding as well that people say this about. It’s very strange!

@MrsMiddleMother

I find it really odd women post photos online breastfeeding. It's not something (many) ff mothers do so why bf. To prove that they're doing it? It is just an attention thing and you're not wrong for how it makes you feel.

Because many do it to help normalise and destigmatise breastfeeding - which judging by this thread alone, still needs to be done apparently.

@Milkshake54

It makes me so sad (as a mum who has just stopped feeding her 1 yr old) that I can't celebrate my success and the pride I feel that I achieved this, for the worry I may offend someone!

We wouldn't bat an eyelid if it was a promotion at work, passing a driving test, getting a good grade on an exam... all of which are things people feel proud of... in case someone didn't get the job, failed their driving test, got a lower grade... why is it different for breastfeeding?

Misogyny, patriarchal values, pressure on new mums to be perfect, and a WHOLE heap of formula companies investing many years and £ into stigmatising breastfeeding

Misogyny, patriarchal values, pressure on new mums to be perfect, and a WHOLE heap of formula companies investing many years and £ into stigmatising breastfeeding

They’ve done a hell of a job haven’t they. The truly bizarre things people think and say about one of the most basic human functions and processes are staggering. Of course not everyone does it or even wants to, for a whole host of different reasons. But many of them are informed by a litany of crap that’s been painstakingly pushed on vulnerable pregnant women and new mums and now infects the whole of our ff obsessed society.

Is this friend truly a friend? She sounds mean if she's knows the stuff you've been through and still goes on

Enormous drip feed there, OP.
I’m sorry you’ve suffered but your updates about what this friend is supposed to have done are far worse than what you posted in your OP…
Makes me wonder why not mention any of it in your first post?!

Friend posting on SM about BF making you feel bad = YABU
Friend going out of her way to text you pics and go on about BF’ing in such a way to you when she knows how much you’ve struggled = YANBU

You're not being unreasonable in that this isn't a matter of reason, it's about self-protection. You've had an incredibly difficult time and this woman sounds like a really bad person to have around. You're doing so well, even giving babies bottles is hard. You've created a tiny human and you're doing everything in your power to bring them up and protect them, despite incredible adversity. To do this you need to put yourself first and decide how much warmth this so-called friend brings you. She sounds poisonous to me. If you can find a way of retreating from her do so, and protect yourself and your baby. Any mum who feeds her baby through breast or bottle is amazing. You're doing a bloody fantastic job. And your point about your scar free stomach is dead on. We all have natural advantages/disadvantages when we give birth and you're not rubbing it in to her because you're a decent person. Take care.

I was hospitalised with a breast abscess, got sepsis and was severely ill... i then breastfed until my child was 18 months.. i was damn proud of that as it was so bloody hard..

I did post a pic.. like a posted about my calm, lovely water birth.. with my other son i posted about my awful long labour and episiotomy..

Like other mams post photos of their csections..and of baby drinking from a bottle..

Please op maybe talking to someone will help. You are not a failure and formula is a literal lifesaver! I think its amazing that there is a safe alternative to breastmilk!!!