To bring this up with the parents - my daughter's cousins told them they were thicker and not as good because they don't go to a private school (or should /I just lol and leave it alone!)

[HacketteofHacks]

We had a family 'get together' around Christmas.
My daughters are 12 and 8, their cousins are 7 and 4.
The 7 year old told my 12 year old that she was 'brighter and better' than her because she went to private school.
She also later said to my 8 year old who was struggling to tie up shoe laces (trainers so they could go out to the park) and say 'I can do that I'm cleverer than you'. I've no reason to think my children are lying - I know these children have said other stuff in the past to me.
Now if my DC said that to another child (in an immediate family) I would want to know.
My DH (it's his DB whose children made the comments) thinks it's 'just people isn't it'. And thinks I should avoid...
And before you flame me.. I haven't really got a problem with private schooling - we are lucky enough to live in an area where all the schools are good. But DH and his brother went to a public school and hated it (in fact DH was surprised with DH sent his children to private school as they too live in an area with some good schools).
There also the issue that DB is paid via a limited company so while DH ( and I)pay tax via PAYE we know DB puts a lot of things through his limited company. So he doesn't pay the same amount of tax and maybe can afford to do the private school thing.
Neither DB or his wife went to university. His wife doesn't work (lucky her as her mum gave her shed loads of cash to buy their house) both DH and I do work long hours and we. both have masters degrees. But I would never think I was better than anyone else.
My question is - should I bring this up?

I actually would say something yes, because I fucked if I am going to have my children be talked down to on the basis that they don’t go to private school. That would make me see red. But I am bolshy like this.

I wouldn’t have it come from the children though. I would own it.

OP, who knows what these kids may or may not have said. They are kids. You however, are not. You definitely come across as seeking confirmation bias and seem hell bent on whipping up a MN fury about these people - sneaky tax evaders, kids independent school, SAHM, inheritance. Well, so what? There was absolutely no need to mention these details otherwise.

Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, no matter how you dress it up.

I would almost guarantee that your kids have already picked up on your sentiments about this other family and are telling you this because they think it’s what you would like to hear.

If you are fired up enough to post some little kids “he said, she said” thing on the internet, you are probably none too subtle about your feelings in real life. Even if you haven’t directly mentioned this to your kids, they will know. Chips the shoulder are usually visible from miles away and to anyone and everyone who knows you.

I’m sorry to be blunt, but just let it go. You will never know what was or wasn’t said. If I were you, I’d be more concerned about letting your own insecurities influence your own children. The other children are not your concern and never will be be. Break this cycle and stop focusing on other people. Then your kids will do the same.

I would absolutely want to know if my kids said that (although I would put money on the fact that it's the parents telling them).

My kids are at a private school but I know without a doubt that they don't realise that they are.

They are slightly younger than your niece but still, even when they are 7 I can guarantee I won't be telling them that they are at a fee paying school.

There is absolutely no reason for young children to know this kind of information. Teachers certainly don't mention it so it's 100% come from the parents who just sound hideous.

It is stories like this that reinforce my belief that private schools should be done away with. Every child deserves a great education.

Maybe teach your kids a couple of replies to have in mind in case their cousins make these snobbish, ill-informed remarks again. If it continues, your husband needs to have a chat with his brother. Clearly, manners and tact aren't being taught in this expensive school.

It was not a nice thing for the child to say but at seven, they come out with all sorts. The child's parents should explain to them that is not the thing to say, indeed at seven not much should be made, to them, of their going to a private school. There is no need for it to even cross their mind.

You’d do your kids a much bigger favour if you teach them how to function in the real world.

Ignore what a 7 year old says I can’t understand the mentality these day of everyone wanting to micromanage their children etc

Obviously been told that by her parents. I'd just stop seeing them.

My DD had similar when the DD of a friend told my her she (my DD) was poor, because she had to go to 'the free school' whereas they were rich and could go to the nice school. My DD responded with 'I don't think that's true, but I'll check with our mums' and promptly came and repeated it. My friend looked like she wanted to sink through the floor, but presumably thought twice about what she said in front of her DD future. We didn't see much of them after that.

Friends DD told mine that my DD was poor

@3scape

Obviously been told that by her parents. I'd just stop seeing them.

Hardly obvious

Most likely has come from school or inferred due to the selection process at the school itself

Why is how your husband's brother paid an issue?

How appalling for children to say such things, or even to be aware of them.
I’d be inclined to tell your dcs that on the contrary, private schools may often be better for children who aren’t very clever, because classes are smaller so the teachers have more time to help them!

I remember a dd of maybe 8 when we were on holiday, asking me whether she went to a private school, because some kid of about the same age on the beach had asked her.

As it happened we were living abroad and dds went to the English Speaking school, so dds weren’t aware of such differences anyway.
I was appalled that a child of that age would be asking such a question.

I agree that most primary age children have no idea whether they’re in a ‘private school,’ or a ‘state school’ or a ‘faith school.’ To any child, it’s just ‘my school where my teachers and friends are.’ What else can they comprehend at 7? They have nothing to compare to. Children are hardly born with an innate knowledge of school fees, catchment areas or the unequal distribution of public funding for education. .

The kid is 7, not 17. She'll soon learn her lesson, if she carries on with that silly attitude. Local children will take the piss out of her if she starts with her sneering and jeering. Private schoolkids where I grew up (Oxford, not anywhere rough as fuck) got a lot of stick for their straw boaters and daft blazers - looking back, maybe we were jealous?

Teach your children some harmless nonsensical responses.

" Your parents sent you to private school to make your hair grow."

 "  Talking to cousins makes your teeth  fall out"

@WinnersDinner

YABU

Your post reeks of jealousy

7 year olds say annoying shit all the time, I'd ignore and tell your older children to ignore too

It really doesn't.

Tell your children to just laugh and say they go to state schools as they are clever and don't need the extra help but they hope their cousins do OK.

YABVU

People don’t use limited companies to avoid paying tax, and if you think they do, maybe the cousins are right. For clarity, anything put through the company must be a legitimate business expense. If it is not, it will be excluded from tax calculations - unless you’re accusing your BIL and his accountants of tax fraud, which would be a much bigger issue than his kids being horrid.

Stop being so jealous, it’s only making you feel bad.

I would just teach my children to roll their eyes and ignore it. There's no need to stop to the level of a 7 year old with equally rude retorts.

I think it's come from the parents (one of other of them) and the 7 year old is basically parroting what she's been told.

I would be disgusted with my children if they'd come out with those comments.

My only thought would be ...money doesn't buy manners

In what way do you think using a limited company saves tax?
You pay tax in a different way and have more expenses linked to companies house etc but the days when there was a large difference are long since gone.

Honestly, I would talk it up to little kids talking crap and not mention to parents unless/until you see further evidence of worrying behaviour. It's like when we were kids and some kids would be all 'My dad is richer than your dad' etc

Can't see the relevance of your second paragraph about their financial arrangements but I think you should have a word with SIL. "Brighter and better" sounds like it may have come from the school. I'd want to know.

In fairness to your in laws, they might have picked this up at school, either from other students or the school itself. Schools after brag about having the 'brightest and best' students. It's supposed to foster pride in being part of the school community.

My mother was told that they were the best at her public school and got a rude awakening at university when she met state and grammar students far cleverer than her!

Naive to think this isn’t inculcated into the pupils - how else do you justify the fees?!