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Original poster

Young daughters - Boxing/karate/self-defence classes (for their safety)

86 replies

whatever1980 · 15/01/2022 22:01

Daughters are between 3 and 9. I don't want to scare them but I'm thinking that it is crucial they learn from a young age how to fight back and defend themselves?

I know males should be taught not to attack/kill but hasn't happened so far and I'm not convinced it will (or make a difference).

I also know it's not all men.

I have no self defence skills and it has stopped me doing early morning runs. I was in a wooded park alone a few years ago in the afternoon with my dog and there was a drunk man staggering towards me and (although I'd used the park daily even whilst heavily pregnant) I realised how vulnerable I was as there was no one else there. I sprinted out. I feel like it's my duty as a mother of daughters to equip them with these skills but I don't want to make them fearful of the world either. I wish this was on the curriculum too.

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 15/01/2022 22:11

It cant hurt can it?

I also think I its just as important to teach them that their feelings matter and they don't have to do anything they dont want to etc...I don't have any stats but I think a lot of attacks and other harmful behaviour is probably from people who know girls or woman well and play the 'you don't want to upset me by rejecting me' type manipulation card

Pleasegodgotosleep · 15/01/2022 22:14

One of the reasons - along side focus, discipline and exercise - that my dds (3 & 6) go to karate.

LovelyMoans · 15/01/2022 22:18

I don't know.

Even with great self defense skills a petite girl is still going to be overwhelmed by a big guy.

I'd worry that it would give overconfidence in some situations, make someone think its ok to take a risk because they feel they can look after themselves iyswim. But maybe not, I dont know

KO81 · 15/01/2022 22:21

I box. I took it up as it the best fucking cardio exercise ever, plus it is immense at building bone density and staving off osteoporosis (another largely female treat). I don’t have a daughter, but if I did I will get her boxing. It is such good exercise, teaches incredible discipline, balance, poise and reaction, plus knowing how to swing a fuck-off right hook never, ever hurts.

KO81 · 15/01/2022 22:23

Also I weigh 50kg and have knocked people off their feet just sparring with pads. I absolutely refute that being small means you can’t defend yourself.

Original poster
whatever1980 · 15/01/2022 22:24

Thanks for the input

OP posts:
Ileflottante · 15/01/2022 22:25

@LovelyMoans

I don't know.

Even with great self defense skills a petite girl is still going to be overwhelmed by a big guy.

I'd worry that it would give overconfidence in some situations, make someone think its ok to take a risk because they feel they can look after themselves iyswim. But maybe not, I dont know

So your thought is it’s better if she can’t even attempt to defend herself because that’s better than overconfidence? What? Confused better a woman be weak and vulnerable than unladylike and overconfident, eh.
Embracelife · 15/01/2022 22:26

Why not do some yourself already?
You can tgen start passing on eat you kean
I did krav maga with one of my teen dds
Great classes
Great boost to confidence
And yes with right techniques Size does not matter

Embracelife · 15/01/2022 22:26

Passing on what you learn

FindingMeno · 15/01/2022 22:27

I would learn krav maga if I had the chance.

2ducksandI · 15/01/2022 22:27

I think martial arts are great for general confidence, fitness and discipline. But they are really not going to be of any help in a real life situation. My son is a black belt in karate and 6ft 1 at 14 and I wouldn't expect him to be able to overpower an attacker hell bent on hurting or subduing him it just doesn't work like that. Let them do it but don't think and certainly don't let them think it makes them any safer.

RussianSpy101 · 15/01/2022 22:28

Absolutely get them into boxing / martial arts!

RussianSpy101 · 15/01/2022 22:28

@2ducksandI why not?

PinkSyCo · 15/01/2022 22:28

Why can’t you enrol your DD’s in defence classes without making them fearful? I persuaded mine to join without putting the fear of God in them easily enough.

Embracelife · 15/01/2022 22:29

@LovelyMoans

I don't know.

Even with great self defense skills a petite girl is still going to be overwhelmed by a big guy.

I'd worry that it would give overconfidence in some situations, make someone think its ok to take a risk because they feel they can look after themselves iyswim. But maybe not, I dont know

self defense classes will teach how and when to walk away/ run And how to be aware of surroundings And basics like don't walk around texting on phone But also what to do if in a situation
MrsJBaptiste · 15/01/2022 22:29

Oh God, whatever... 🙄

Freecuthbert · 15/01/2022 22:31

You don't have to send them to karate, kickboxing etc in a way that makes them fearful of the world. It should be presented as just another fun activity which also keeps them fit and healthy! The self-defence aspect is another benefit of it. I think it can instill confidence in young girls too.

Sorry I'm a bit washy on the details, but I remember hearing about a nurse who had some self-defence training and used that to fight off someone her husband had hired as a hit on her! He was armed and she wasn't and she killed him in self defence. It was either him or her and she fought for her life and won.

NotTheGrinchAgain · 15/01/2022 22:32

My dd age 11 does martial arts and self defence.It's great for fitness but due to covid there has been no sparring for 2 years. It is great for stamina, strength and self confidence. Currently she is learning how to disarm someone.

If someone attacks my DD she will make as much noise as humanly possible and strike where it genuinely hurts. (Let's put it like this, I don't let her anyway near my solar plexus.) And then she will run like the wind.

I consider this an absolutely essential part of her upbringing. She isnt over-confident. She knows the big lads in her Class could overpower her. She is aware, and alert.

And my logic is, if I was going to attack someone I might back off if she could do me some damage in exchange.

gobbledygoook · 15/01/2022 22:32

The best self defence advice is first - run away if you can, do not try to fight if you can run!

Self defence classes are taught as a specific skill, would you be able to find any of those locally? Your other options are good too, but when I did self defence classes it taught us what to do if grabbed from behind / arms restrained / grabbed from the front etc rather than trained martial arts moves which might be more limiting iyswim?

EmmaH2022 · 15/01/2022 22:36

OP sprinting out was the most sensible thing even if you had self defence skills.

I think you can sign them up for any of these as a discipline but self defence in general when they are teens.

Pikaso · 15/01/2022 22:38

I would.
Apart from the self defence aspect it’s also great for fitness and confidence building.
Plus, keeps them off Social media for a couple of hours doesn’t it

minipie · 15/01/2022 22:42

I agree with it being a great skill to learn, great exercise and for confidence.

However I wouldn’t ever ever want to give my DDs the impression that some self defence or martial arts classes would mean they could fight off a male attacker.

ElEmEnOhPee · 15/01/2022 22:43

I'd do Krav Maga if it was an option. It's unfortunately not taught in my area.

WorraLiberty · 15/01/2022 22:43

@LovelyMoans

I don't know.

Even with great self defense skills a petite girl is still going to be overwhelmed by a big guy.

I'd worry that it would give overconfidence in some situations, make someone think its ok to take a risk because they feel they can look after themselves iyswim. But maybe not, I dont know

All good instructors will drum into their pupils that the very best form of self defence is to run/get yourself straight away from the danger.

They teach that physical self defence is a very last resort.

Lesina · 15/01/2022 22:45

Self defence is brilliant. Also teaching them how to monitor situations, be aware of their surroundings and how to run if necessary. I hate that we have to do it but until violence against women is properly dealt with we need to ensure our girls and women have a fighting chance.

Also teach them that biting marks them out as a psychopath.. and people tend to stay clear of them. Sink their teeth in deep and hard. Saved me .