Young daughters - Boxing/karate/self-defence classes (for their safety)

[whatever1980]

Daughters are between 3 and 9. I don't want to scare them but I'm thinking that it is crucial they learn from a young age how to fight back and defend themselves?

I know males should be taught not to attack/kill but hasn't happened so far and I'm not convinced it will (or make a difference).

I also know it's not all men.

I have no self defence skills and it has stopped me doing early morning runs. I was in a wooded park alone a few years ago in the afternoon with my dog and there was a drunk man staggering towards me and (although I'd used the park daily even whilst heavily pregnant) I realised how vulnerable I was as there was no one else there. I sprinted out. I feel like it's my duty as a mother of daughters to equip them with these skills but I don't want to make them fearful of the world either. I wish this was on the curriculum too.

I've spoken about this with my DH about our DD who us 6. We're not sure martial arts would be the most beneficial in these circumstances, what they need is a course where they learn to fight smart and dirty. I don't think there are courses out there like this though

I'd recommend Krav maga

If you do want to find a martial art for this reason then jujitsu is one which focussed on overpowering an attacker in self-defence rather than going in on the attack. It doesn’t look as cool as other martial arts as they end up wrestling on the floor but I think the focus on getting an opponent into a position where you’ve disabled them is helpful for girls who can’t rely on size or strength.

I did self defence classes when I was young. At 11 I started developing rather quickly and mum thought it best I learnt a few moves.
I also did kick boxing but that was seen as "uncool" at my school so I stopped.
I was thankful for the self defence lessons when I started going out at 18. It's amazing how you can disarm a blokes wondering hands with just one finger. Thankfully never had to use the more serious moves!

Can heartily recommend.

I did jujitsu from ages 11-18 and the main lesson taken from it was a massive amount of self esteem and confidence. Plus incredible fitness and ability to defend yourself.

Girls and women don’t get raped and murdered because they weren’t taught a karate chop
Most were hurt by someone they knew
Random stranger attack v rare
2 kids are killed every week crossing the road ( often on phones air pods in )
Need to teach girls about spotting red flags early on in relationships having lots of self confidence and self worth to walk away from bad situations and not feeling like you have to be polite,
Be aware of “ask for Angela “ scheme in pubs etc etc that would be far more useful in my opinion

I wish there was more martial arts classes out there, I tried looking into it myself but they are all 7pm or later round here.

i feel they are missing a trick by not doing them during the day when mums are at home.

As for boxing/karate etc, I think something like Muay Thai or taekwondo would be best for a girl because its all kicking people, I wouldn't fancy the chances of a woman against a man with things that concentrate on upper body strength, Karate is mainly throws isnt it? ideally you wouldnt want to be that close to them and they need to be in the right position.

Also, we need to teach our daughters how to say 'fuck off' more. With meaning.

I did martial arts as a teen and competed at national level (still do one of them now). Agree with PPs that a good instructor will teach kids to run/shout for help and so on rather than stay and fight. Martial arts should leave you really fit - which helps if you need to run! Because yes, however good you are it’s still difficult to defend yourself against a much bigger opponent.

And I think what’s really important is that martial arts teach you more than a physical skill. They can give you a physical confidence and an assertiveness. In karate you shout (Kiai) when you’re attacking - to score points in sparring and in the set patterns (Kata). You also spar people of different shapes and sizes and male and female (obvs kids should only fight kids but you get what I mean). Being able to shout at someone and show physical presence is really useful. Case in point - a man was following me in the park a few months ago - in broad day light, the joys of being a woman. He was trying to talk to me and I told him to leave me alone but he kept walking behind me. I turned around and literally shouted at him LEAVE ME ALONE! TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW AND GO! And he did. It also got a lot of attention from other people nearby. But I think being used to shouting/being dominant/aggressive in some way has really helped me.

They can also make you more used to being in a fight sort of situation. If you’ve never been in a fight before, having someone physically attack is likely to be quite shocking - if you’ve done martial arts I think you might be a little more able to react - even if that means shout/run etc.

So yeah - I definitely think it’s worth it - not just because you think physical skills/techniques might be useful but because it gives you a certain confidence too.

@VelvetChairGirl Karate is mostly punches and kicks, not really focussed on throws.

@VelvetChairGirl and in any case - don’t most fights end on the ground? So I think grappling is pretty useful if you’re thinking of something that’s likely to have most practical use.

My DD does Taekwondo with a girl heavy club in our area. They teach active self defence as part of their curriculum.
It doesn't have the throwing to the floor parts as in judo or karate. Focus is on keeping the oppnent at a safe distance, with well placed kiks and punches.
I must add, not the Olympic dicipline, but with ITF - there is a huge difference.

[quote Amelion]@VelvetChairGirl and in any case - don’t most fights end on the ground? So I think grappling is pretty useful if you’re thinking of something that’s likely to have most practical use.[/quote]
None that I have been involved with no, they normally end with a swift kick to the head and hot footing it out of there.

My kids started karate tots at 3 years old. It’s more about having fun at that age. As they get older they learn more self defence. Now they are teens and practice ju jitzu. It’s great for protection. No fighting just defending themselves

Do it with them. It's a great family activity with the right club!
And definitely great for self defence. Our sensei teaches the kids not to get into fights and definitely no starting fights.
But she regularly teaches punch and run. She teaches them to make sure they can buy enough time to run away by inducing enough surprise or pain. Helps the kids who would normally freeze or be tempted to fight to the death.

I think these activities can be fun and build confidence, but self-defense skills are really not going to help a woman being attacked by a man in anything but the most unusual situation.

@VelvetChairGirl I meant statistically speaking, I don’t know anything about the fights you’ve been in

Also - going out running isn't dangerous in terms of being attacked unless you are in some very extreme setting. You are likely in more danger of getting hit by a car.

stop peddling that myth. Without training, punching and punching hard does not come naturally.
Girls will be weaker yes. That doesn't mean they should lie down and allow the worst to happen to them. They should at least pluck some hair or gouge an eye and go down fucking swinging. Maybe even stay alert enough to see a break to run for it and have the stamina to keep moving once they've started running. I find any sport can give the confidence, courage and stamina to do that but specifically martial arts targets giving those.

Ds has done martial arts from an early age. But he can only do it in a controlled environment. Lay summer, he was getting some physical shit from his mates. The thought of blocking their attacks didn't cross his mind, as it wasn't in the usual room. We live in an area patrolled by large gangs of kids. Many have knives. Some like to herd kids like fucking animals. If he's attacked, he needs to run like fuck.

Dd has no interest in martial arts and I can't make her go. I worry more about ds than dd. She is more at risk when she starts having relationships.

I have no martial arts at all. I am tall and have no qualms about saying no. I run on a path frequented by cyclists, dog walkers and drug dealers. There are generally more cyclists about when I go. I am fully aware that not being attacked is more luck than anything I do or don't do.

Martial arts don't tend to teach what to do if there are a few of them attacking you, either. There's never the level of aggression that you see in proper fights, and I've broken up a good few fights over the years.

Nope, martial arts does not teach how to fight... what it does teach if taught properly is how to block a punch or a kick from the front or side. That combined with the surprise element can be enough to get out of a tricky situation. Being able to fight off 5 strong guys is only possible in movies.

They are also taught not to use the active fighting skills outside the training sessions or competitions and even there are strict rules. Because some can be very damaging to the unsuspecing victim which basically is GBH.

My DD does jujitsu. It's fantastic for fitness, strength and self confidence. She spars mainly with boys. I'm not sure how much good it would do her in a real life situation but I hope some of the reactions would kick in to at least give her a chance of getting away.

@KO81

I box. I took it up as it the best fucking cardio exercise ever, plus it is immense at building bone density and staving off osteoporosis (another largely female treat). I don’t have a daughter, but if I did I will get her boxing. It is such good exercise, teaches incredible discipline, balance, poise and reaction, plus knowing how to swing a fuck-off right hook never, ever hurts.

You have totally sold me!!!!

I'm a long time martial artist. Competed in kickboxing and K1, trained in MMA and Thai boxing before switching to Brazilian Jiu-jitsu for the last 7 years.

I'd try to run. If I had to respond, I'd kick the knees and then run. In theory - in the real situation you just don't know.

Most of the youths nowadays use weapons, but I'm still grateful for everything I know.