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AIBU?

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Original poster

CF tipped guide in obsolete notes

152 replies

FloraPostIt · 14/01/2022 08:31

I recently went on a group tour. I was a single traveller with a group of other single travellers from various countries and an amazing local guide. It was two weeks. The guide's income has been massively hit by COVID and he has a young family so tips at the end of the tour are a massive deal for him.

On the last night one of the group had collected tips from everyone - about £50 in local currency each - and gave a little speech. We all applauded and thanked him.

Shortly after going to bed I got a WhatsApp message from the guide with a photo of some UK notes asking if they were valid. I was the only UK traveller.

I knew exactly who had put them in. On the first day a woman from the US had tried to exchange about £100 in £10 notes but couldn't as they were the old paper ones. She asked me to buy them off her and bring them back to the UK. I said I'd need to think about it - I'd only just met her, wasn't 100% I could change them and live nowhere near a bank anyway. I heard no more. But she knew they were worthless in that country.

By the time I got the message from the guide, she had already left for the airport as she was the first to go.

I met the guide next morning and he was upset and begging me to help. I agreed to bring the notes back, try to change them and transfer the money. I explained it would likely be a few weeks. It has been less than a week and I'm getting pleading messages urging me not to forget and I'm feeling terrible. I will most likely go into the city tomorrow to try and deal, which is a huge faff.

I spoke to the woman who took the collection and she was fuming and had no idea. She is much more assertive than me and sent CF a message who replied with a link saying the notes were valid as they could be taken to a bank in the UK. Assertive woman pointed out that Guide had never been to Europe in his life.

I kind of want to message CF and make this her problem, not mine, as I'm feeling guilty and stewing. However I'm rubbish at confrontation and am worried this would make md feel worse. I'm afraid I'm a very un-Munsnetty drip. WIBU to message CF? Any advice?

I also feel that if she was going to palm off her useless notes she could at least have put all £100 in but she only put in half.

OP posts:
GivenchyDahhling · 14/01/2022 08:36

You can message the woman but if she’s in the US, she can’t really do anything about it can she? Tbh she’s a dick but will likely just ignore/block your messages if you did.

I think the guide is being unreasonable by putting it all on you tbh, and sending the begging/guilt trip messages.

Jumpingintomenopause · 14/01/2022 08:37

I’m afraid as nice as you are to try and help it’s not your responsibility and you should not plebe put in this position.
No guide should be pleading with clientele. How do you plan to transfer the funds to this individual?
Sadly a tip is just that, and in this case she essentially left no tip.

Lovelydovey · 14/01/2022 08:38

Send them in via post to the BoE to exchange them.

www.bankofengland.co.uk/banknotes/exchanging-old-banknotes

Lovelydovey · 14/01/2022 08:39

Also the woman who put them is a complete CF - not only were they not local currency, they were not current foreign bank notes.

PigeonLittle · 14/01/2022 08:40

So frustrating. Yes its the CF problem but you have the notes and you have made a commitment to help. Its a massive fuss though I'd be so cross in your shoes too!

You're doing a good deed, do it in your own time and dont let pleading push you.

Reusablebags · 14/01/2022 08:40

I woman leaving the notes has certainly been a dick. But irrespective it seems you committed to changing the notes and you should now do it. I don’t think it’s very decent of you to be complaining about “pleading” messages and trying to pass it on to someone else etc. You were provided with an excellent service by your account and it sounds like there’s a difference in standard of living and much likely the loss/delay of this money to the guide and his young family is greater than the “faff” to you of going into town. The point to refuse to deal with the issue was before you were passed the money. Now you’ve committed to it, deal with it promptly and gracefully (and tbh be grateful you’re not in a position to have to rely on tips and send pleading messages for your own money).

Original poster
FloraPostIt · 14/01/2022 08:40

I have his bank details (which I still need to make sense of!). But I'm also worried about being flagged for money laundering. I may be overthinking!

OP posts:
Seeline · 14/01/2022 08:42

Had the CF just given her contribution in old notes or had she swapped the entire collection for duds?

LittleMG · 14/01/2022 08:42

I would be pissed of but I’d help the guide he’s probably desperate for the money x

Hoppinggreen · 14/01/2022 08:44

It wasn’t your problem until you made it so but now you have you need to sort it out.

PigeonLittle · 14/01/2022 08:45

@FloraPostIt

I have his bank details (which I still need to make sense of!). But I'm also worried about being flagged for money laundering. I may be overthinking!
You are definitely overthinking!
DingDongDenny · 14/01/2022 08:46

If you can afford to I would just send him the money now before changing the notes. You do risk a loss, but he sounds desperate, with a family to support

Original poster
FloraPostIt · 14/01/2022 08:46

@Reusablebags you are right. I think that is the correct and healthy way of looking at it.

I think maybe I am feeling the urge to vent as I'm feeling very guilty/pissed off which is a bad combination.

I need to let it go and deal with it ASAP!

OP posts:
Schoolchoicesucks · 14/01/2022 08:46

She's a CF. The guide is being a bit U by chasing you, but you've accepted the responsibility to try and change them, so now you need to suck it up.
You know time is of the essence for the guide. Use the postal service the pp linked to.

You'll get nowhere by trying to make this the CF's responsibility- they don't have the notes and are on a different continent. The person who handled the collection isn't involved so leave them out too.

No-one's going to investigate you for exchanging £50 in old £10 notes.
This is not what money laundering is.

Original poster
FloraPostIt · 14/01/2022 08:48

@Seeline just hers. She was apparently very furtive when she put them in there.

OP posts:
StrifeOfBath · 14/01/2022 08:49

In the end the tip is discretionary, so whilst you all have well founded views on the woman’s character, she can’t be made to do anything about it, and she won’t.

It is a nuisance for you, but a kind thing you are doing. I would send the guide a pretty firm message saying that you will not be able to deal with it for X weeks (give a date a bit later than you actually think is realistic without putting too much pressure on yourself) and will let him know as soon as it is done,

You will not get done for money laundering!

NotVictorianHonestly · 14/01/2022 08:49

You're totally over thinking on the money laundering! I don't see how any element of this suggests money laundering?!

Yes, she's an idiot. But that doesn't help the poor guide. For all you know he can't feed his family or is about to be made homeless. I don't suppose he enjoys having to beg you for the money. So personally I'd get on and sort it out as soon as possible as an act of kindness.

OMGisthisforreal · 14/01/2022 08:50

I’ve recently cleared out my Father’s house and came across several old notes from varying decades plus jars full of up to 20 year old coins.
I took them into my local bank (where 8 have an account) and they gave me cash without any problem.

ParkingDiagram · 14/01/2022 08:57

DH had a similar issue when doing a charity collection. Someone put in some obsolete bank notes and he had to get them changed.

www.bankofengland.co.uk/banknotes/exchanging-old-banknotes

It’s a shitty thing for someone to do but as others have said, you offered to resolve it for the guide so you should do it.

Original poster
FloraPostIt · 14/01/2022 08:57

Thanks everyone - I think I'd created a massive drama in my head that isn't there. The curse of WFH alone...

It really is very simple. I just need to go to a bank.

Possibly most pointless AIBU ever!

OP posts:
SleepOhHowIMissYou · 14/01/2022 09:00

You can just pay old notes into your account using the automated machines inside banks. It's easy to do and you don't need to go to a clerk to do it.

You're doing a kind thing. Try to focus on that because winding yourself up with this cf's behaviour helps no-one, not you, not the guide. When it's done you can know you did a good thing.

Are you planning to go near your bank soon?

Bettyfromlondon · 14/01/2022 09:05

That woman's behaviour was disgraceful! How kind of you to help. It is not easy to find a bank these days. I have been on tours like these and know the set-up. In this case I would certainly contact the tour company and complain about her.
This income will be be desperately needed by the local guide who will have had a long period of NO INCOME during the collapse of tourism. Since November 2020 I have enjoyed many live-streamed virtual tours around the world with expert guides whose usual work has disappeared. Nowadays some of them have in-person tours as well but these are still subject to sudden cancellations as governments chop and change the rules. The site I use is free but invites you to tip the guide.

SilverHairedCat · 14/01/2022 09:09

Don't fret about the money laundering - it's only £100. No one will care.

However, I'd not send him money until you've had the notes changed as I'd need to be certain they were genuine! That would be bad luck - sending him money, then the notes being fake.

Idontknowlondon · 14/01/2022 09:10

Yes, apart from the faff of getting to the bank, this isn't a big deal. The bank will exchange them without issue and then you can deposit then in your account and transfer the money to him.

PigeonLittle · 14/01/2022 09:13

Betty - that site sounds amazing! Do you have a link?