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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF tipped guide in obsolete notes

152 replies

FloraPostIt · 14/01/2022 08:31

I recently went on a group tour. I was a single traveller with a group of other single travellers from various countries and an amazing local guide. It was two weeks. The guide's income has been massively hit by COVID and he has a young family so tips at the end of the tour are a massive deal for him.

On the last night one of the group had collected tips from everyone - about £50 in local currency each - and gave a little speech. We all applauded and thanked him.

Shortly after going to bed I got a WhatsApp message from the guide with a photo of some UK notes asking if they were valid. I was the only UK traveller.

I knew exactly who had put them in. On the first day a woman from the US had tried to exchange about £100 in £10 notes but couldn't as they were the old paper ones. She asked me to buy them off her and bring them back to the UK. I said I'd need to think about it - I'd only just met her, wasn't 100% I could change them and live nowhere near a bank anyway. I heard no more. But she knew they were worthless in that country.

By the time I got the message from the guide, she had already left for the airport as she was the first to go.

I met the guide next morning and he was upset and begging me to help. I agreed to bring the notes back, try to change them and transfer the money. I explained it would likely be a few weeks. It has been less than a week and I'm getting pleading messages urging me not to forget and I'm feeling terrible. I will most likely go into the city tomorrow to try and deal, which is a huge faff.

I spoke to the woman who took the collection and she was fuming and had no idea. She is much more assertive than me and sent CF a message who replied with a link saying the notes were valid as they could be taken to a bank in the UK. Assertive woman pointed out that Guide had never been to Europe in his life.

I kind of want to message CF and make this her problem, not mine, as I'm feeling guilty and stewing. However I'm rubbish at confrontation and am worried this would make md feel worse. I'm afraid I'm a very un-Munsnetty drip. WIBU to message CF? Any advice?

I also feel that if she was going to palm off her useless notes she could at least have put all £100 in but she only put in half.

OP posts:
Rosesandblossoms · 14/01/2022 11:42

What an awful woman! That’s so unkind. Well done you OP, you’re doing a good deed.

Kelly7889 · 14/01/2022 11:51

What's with calling women "a dick" on this site? It''s fucking cringe. I've even seen posters call other women "cunts" and "twats". WTF is wrong with you?

Wotagain · 14/01/2022 11:54

@FloraPostIt
Missing the point entirely, and just being nosey but where did you go OP? Grin

WilsonMilson · 14/01/2022 11:57

Money laundering? It’s £50!! That’s ridiculous.

I think you’re making too much of this. Firstly you should have said it wasn’t you, and why involve yourself? Secondly, you accepted the money so just pay it into your bank and transfer the guide his money. He’s being a bit of a dick in the first place as tips aren’t obligatory, and of course the woman is a CF for doing that, but there’s nothing to be gained by worrying about her now. Just do what you have to do and move on.

mumshouse · 14/01/2022 12:06

All this for the sake of £50? I understand the guide may be hard up at the moment, and the woman was lazy and sly for offloading her useless currency on him, but no-one should have made it your problem. The guide should not have been upset and begging you for help over tips. How many people were in your group?

Only go to the bank when/if it's not going to inconvenience you. And if the bank doesn't want to change the currency, message and say so, and then that's the end of it.

unlikelytobe · 14/01/2022 12:19

I'm not sure the American lady was 'nasty' but perhaps not the nicest person ever! She probably squared her conscience by telling herself he'd get the obsolete notes exchanged somehow and he is. What a faff though and you are kind to do this for him. Just tell him he'll get it asap so he shouldn't pester you.

Times have been hard for travel guides due to the pandemic but in the 'before times' guides could earn very well compared to many of their countrymen, getting tips equivalent to several months average wage. A good travel company would be trying to take care of their staff home and abroad but it's been tough all round.

There's little point 'reporting' her to the travel company. They don't police customers behaviour in this way and tips are voluntary. She's already been made aware of what a dick move that was.

WindyState · 14/01/2022 12:23

Realistically how is this a scam? What does the person who gave the guide the notes gain from all of this?

If they are real notes she has lost the ability to take those notes to a bank and exchange them.

If they are fake notes then she doesn't actually gain anything from giving them as a tip.

All she has done is potentially save herself £50 in tips which she would have done if she just hadn't tipped in the first place.

Whydoyoucareaboutthis · 14/01/2022 12:32

JuergenSchwarzwald

It's not a tip as in additional, these tours have minimum set amounts to 'tip' the tour guide which are agreed with the traveller in advance.

Fink · 14/01/2022 12:34

I would advise you to use a site like Wise to make the transfer, it's much cheaper than doing it through a bank and just as safe.

You will definitely not be flagged for money laundering for a one-off payment of £50. It would take repeated payments of much larger amounts (or conceivably, though I have never actually known this to happen, very very frequent small payments) for anyone to be interested.

Showpan · 14/01/2022 12:38

Just exchanged the notes. Pain it's on you but just do it.

Bootikin · 14/01/2022 12:58

Ffs you DO NOT need to go to a bank. Why on earth didn’t you google how to resolve this issue? All this banging on about money laundering ffs.

Someone unthread even put a bloody link on to show you what to do. Send the sodding notes off to BoE and transfer the money to the poor bloody guide. Jesus Christ how feeble can one person be.

saraclara · 14/01/2022 13:12

This behaviour isn't unusual, sadly. I had to do the same thing for someone in an African country who'd actually been PAID in an obsolete £10 note (the person even told him they'd paid him a bit extra to allow for the inconvenience of him needing to get it changed into local currency). Which is a shitty as it gets. Because the person who 'paid' him was a Brit, so there was no excuse of not knowing it was an obsolete note.

Fortunately I was in a position to give him the local currency in exchange for them, and take them home to pay into my bank (and no - no concerns about scamming, as this was someone already known to me!). But what an appalling thing to do to someone living in what was then the second poorest country in the world, scratching a living by making handmade souvenirs.

debwong · 14/01/2022 13:27

@saraclara

This behaviour isn't unusual, sadly. I had to do the same thing for someone in an African country who'd actually been PAID in an obsolete £10 note (the person even told him they'd paid him a bit extra to allow for the inconvenience of him needing to get it changed into local currency). Which is a shitty as it gets. Because the person who 'paid' him was a Brit, so there was no excuse of not knowing it was an obsolete note.

Fortunately I was in a position to give him the local currency in exchange for them, and take them home to pay into my bank (and no - no concerns about scamming, as this was someone already known to me!). But what an appalling thing to do to someone living in what was then the second poorest country in the world, scratching a living by making handmade souvenirs.

I agree, that is the lowest of the low. Thanks for remedying that.
mangoontoast · 14/01/2022 13:29

@UserBot2022 read the OP again. They all put in £50 each.

Squirrelsbizaare · 14/01/2022 13:51

I don't know what the problem is here. The woman didn't want to give a tip and has chucked a bit of the old currency in the pot, that may or may not be worth anything dependant upon you exhanging the notes for her.
The tour guide has come out with £50 in local currency and some old currency that you have kindly offered to exchange for her.
Its mean spirited what the US woman did, but not the end of the world.
I think the tour guide is being unreasonable putting pressure on you to exchange the currency, the US woman could equally have just not put anything in, what would she have done then ?

mycatistrans · 14/01/2022 13:56

You're very kind but I'm not quite sure why you took that responsibility on. Bit off what she did but it's not your problem.

NotVictorianHonestly · 14/01/2022 14:00

OP I think you've responded very graciously to feedback on this thread. Bravo

RedHelenB · 14/01/2022 18:03

@FloraPostIt

Thanks everyone - I think I'd created a massive drama in my head that isn't there. The curse of WFH alone...

It really is very simple. I just need to go to a bank.

Possibly most pointless AIBU ever!

You'll feel a lot better once you've done it. Well done for offering to help him out.
RedHelenB · 14/01/2022 18:28

[quote Lockheart]@TheVolturi the pleading messages are what's setting off my scam alarm. It's textbook pressurising used by scam / con-artists. He was tipped a lot of money by a number of people, and whilst if this is legitimate he would certainly want the money (and rightly so, it's his money), it seems illogical that he needs it so desperately given that he's just been given a lot of cash very recently. No need for the emotive pressuring tactics at this stage.

OP I would verify the notes and get the money from the bank before you send anything to him. Please just be careful and don't be pressured.[/quote]
Probably worried she'll forget or can't be arsed if he just leaves it.

Eggshausted · 14/01/2022 20:14

Which country does the guide live in?

Ivyonafence · 15/01/2022 04:10

That was a really shitty thing for that other tourist to do.

I would also wise some caution, the pressure he's putting on you is a red flag. This was never your problem to solve.

Don't hand over any of your own money until the notes have been verified.

Malibuismysecrethome · 15/01/2022 05:16

Just go to the bank, exchange the notes, and transfer the money as promised. You did agree to do this. In future don’t get involved or offer to help if you don’t want to be obligated.

Original poster
FloraPostIt · 15/01/2022 21:16

Not very exciting update. I have sorted it. Post office wasn't able to help so I went into town to the bank. It's the first time I've been into a branch for ages and it was buzzing with activity and even selling coffee

I had a bit of a scare when the man I first gave the notes to said he thought they were fake and took them away for what felt like ages but was probably about 90 seconds. Long enough for me to mentally transport myself to a police interview room which was terrifying and then to populate it with Luther doing the interrogating, which was quite a different feeling... but the man came back and said they were fine. It was a long time since he'd felt the paper notes he said, so a thrilling day all round.

He showed me how to make the transfer on my phone. There are no charges at my end but may be about £9 at the other end.

Then had to message guide to get his address, which he has now sent. I've made the transfer and going to concentrate on not composing angry messages and not letting this ruin my memories

To those suggesting I report CF to the tour company, much as the petty vengeance-seeking part of me would like to, I suspect the tour company would be more angry at the guide for asking me for help.

And finally to those who suggested I made the choice to help, I know I'm not the most assertive person but I really don't think anyone could have said no - he was so desperate.

The irony (possibly?) is that I'd been quite proud of myself for saying no when CF had first asked me to buy her notes, as that took quite a lot for me.

Thank you everyone for helping me see the wood for the trees

OP posts:
Original poster
FloraPostIt · 15/01/2022 21:25

And also, my money-laundering anxiety was completely unfounded. It was never mentioned and I noticed two people ahead of me taking out thousands in cash. My little bundle of £50, which had previously felt quite meaty and decadent, looked very pathetic in comparison

OP posts:
ancientgran · 15/01/2022 21:30

So glad you got it sorted. You did a nice thing so don't worry about not being assertive, you were assertive to the CF and you were nice to the man who needed the money.