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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF tipped guide in obsolete notes

152 replies

FloraPostIt · 14/01/2022 08:31

I recently went on a group tour. I was a single traveller with a group of other single travellers from various countries and an amazing local guide. It was two weeks. The guide's income has been massively hit by COVID and he has a young family so tips at the end of the tour are a massive deal for him.

On the last night one of the group had collected tips from everyone - about £50 in local currency each - and gave a little speech. We all applauded and thanked him.

Shortly after going to bed I got a WhatsApp message from the guide with a photo of some UK notes asking if they were valid. I was the only UK traveller.

I knew exactly who had put them in. On the first day a woman from the US had tried to exchange about £100 in £10 notes but couldn't as they were the old paper ones. She asked me to buy them off her and bring them back to the UK. I said I'd need to think about it - I'd only just met her, wasn't 100% I could change them and live nowhere near a bank anyway. I heard no more. But she knew they were worthless in that country.

By the time I got the message from the guide, she had already left for the airport as she was the first to go.

I met the guide next morning and he was upset and begging me to help. I agreed to bring the notes back, try to change them and transfer the money. I explained it would likely be a few weeks. It has been less than a week and I'm getting pleading messages urging me not to forget and I'm feeling terrible. I will most likely go into the city tomorrow to try and deal, which is a huge faff.

I spoke to the woman who took the collection and she was fuming and had no idea. She is much more assertive than me and sent CF a message who replied with a link saying the notes were valid as they could be taken to a bank in the UK. Assertive woman pointed out that Guide had never been to Europe in his life.

I kind of want to message CF and make this her problem, not mine, as I'm feeling guilty and stewing. However I'm rubbish at confrontation and am worried this would make md feel worse. I'm afraid I'm a very un-Munsnetty drip. WIBU to message CF? Any advice?

I also feel that if she was going to palm off her useless notes she could at least have put all £100 in but she only put in half.

OP posts:
SwanShaped · 15/01/2022 22:04

Glad it’s sorted.

Valeriekat · 16/01/2022 10:39

@Hoppinggreen

It wasn’t your problem until you made it so but now you have you need to sort it out.
Yes!
Valeriekat · 16/01/2022 10:42

And you did so well done but next time I quess pay in local currency or USD

AlwaysinaFlap · 16/01/2022 10:44

@Valeriekat

And you did so well done but next time I quess pay in local currency or USD
Did you read the thread?
Lockheart · 16/01/2022 10:59

Well done OP, glad it all worked out in the end!

Mellowyellow222 · 16/01/2022 12:33

Well done in getting It sorted.

May I say that this seemed to have caused you much more stress and anxiety than it should have.

On one hand you were able to travel solo to a developing country which is amazing, but you got really stressed out over a fairly routine transaction. You catastrophised this into something it really wants.

Maybe talking to someone about coping mechanism would help. Most on this thread really don’t understand why this was so hard for you to resolve. Yes she was a CF - but the rest was just going to a bank.

Newestname002 · 16/01/2022 13:01

Very well done for sorting this out, @FloraPostIt and how very kind to give up your time and effort in helping the guide who had been duped with these notes. 🌹

Original poster
FloraPostIt · 26/01/2022 21:57

By way of brief update, the money still hasn't gone through as it was flagged as a suspicious transaction. I've spent about three hours on the phone to the bank over the last two days (not an exaggeration) and have been getting daily desperate messages from the guide which are making me feel dreadful. I get a sick feeling whenever I see I've got a WhatsApp. And I'm totally regretting ever going on the sodding trip now as this has wiped out all the good memories.

But I got Wordle in two goes this week so there's that.

OP posts:
tkwal · 26/01/2022 22:23

You are a decent person , you are sympathetic to the guides predicament but it is not your problem. The company employing the guide should be the ones dealing with it or much more ethically, paying a decent wage in the first place.

debwong · 27/01/2022 14:17

@FloraPostIt

By way of brief update, the money still hasn't gone through as it was flagged as a suspicious transaction. I've spent about three hours on the phone to the bank over the last two days (not an exaggeration) and have been getting daily desperate messages from the guide which are making me feel dreadful. I get a sick feeling whenever I see I've got a WhatsApp. And I'm totally regretting ever going on the sodding trip now as this has wiped out all the good memories.

But I got Wordle in two goes this week so there's that.

Could you pay the guide by Paypal or something similar instead, as it is quite a small amount?
StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 27/01/2022 14:29

No good deed goes unpunished eh. I hope it gets sorted soon.

UserBotAI999 · 27/01/2022 17:36

You're a good person. The guide has a job and is in a good position relatively, and has put a lot of pressure on you.

Treat yourself to something when its sorted.

Also, tell the guide how many hours you spent on the phone to the bank.

Original poster
FloraPostIt · 27/01/2022 18:18

@debwong the money left my account ages ago and is with the foreign bank.

I've just now had another chasing message. I don't know why this is making me feel so awful but it is!

OP posts:
honeybeetheoneandonly · 27/01/2022 20:49

Mute the conversation for a week at a time or block him altogether. You are already doing what you can and will still try to sort this out but he won't be able to harras you anymore and the pressure will ease.

Speakingofdinosaurs · 27/01/2022 22:37

OMG you poor thing!
What a saga but try to think positively about it - in a few weeks time you’ll be able to praise yourself that you’ve done a good deed despite all the hassle it caused you and you’ll be able to laugh about the whole thing.

Plus it’ll be a funny story to tell your grandchildren!

pasturesgreen · 27/01/2022 22:56

Time to block him? You did a good deed and essentially took on a problem that wasn't yours to sort out, you've already gone above and beyond...The bank will eventually sort it, but I see no reason why you should continue to be pressured in the meantime, for something you have no control over.

UserBotAI999 · 28/01/2022 06:39

I think he's got some nerve the pressure he's putting on you

Cherrysoup · 28/01/2022 07:06

Block. You have gone above and beyond. This bloke is taking the piss!

Radyward · 28/01/2022 07:15

Are the notes kosher or counterfeit ? Im sorry i wouldnt have offered to sort it back in UK
. As for CF she gave him money not in his currency but money which can be exchanged supposedly. He should have changed them hinself for liocal curremcy with someone heading to uk at some point. You really have walked yourseld into sorting this
You cant contact Cf as you volunteered to sort it. As for him putting pressure that i would be annoyed with

FannyCann · 28/01/2022 07:20

You've been so kind but you've done your bit now. I would send him one last message saying the money is with the bank and he will get it soon, there's nothing more to be done your end, and thanks for a great tour he did. Goodbye.

And then block him.

I would definitely have sent a furious message to the CF though.
And I'm wondering why she took old £ currency with her to a country that doesn't use that currency. I bet she's already unsuccessfully tried to exchange it in her country and thought she'd scam a small business in the country you toured. What an unpleasant person.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/01/2022 07:40

You need to be very firm with this person now. And / block. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 28/01/2022 07:45

Absolutely block now. You have done everything you can. Send a polite but firm message. I have changed the currency. I have sent it to you. There is nothing else I can do now. I hope it finds its way to you.
And block.

CMZ2018 · 28/01/2022 08:11

Don’t see the issue now. Bank the notes at the counter and wire the money accounting for any fees if you like. Personally I’d have just given the guide the money myself and took the notes to bank.

FannyCann · 28/01/2022 11:49

Also some pp have been rather unkind to the OP who was just trying to help and do the right thing by the guide.

We don't know how old she is (if that matters) but my DD (24) and most of her friends and some of my younger work colleagues would have been massively invested in this. She'd have felt white colonial guilt, got totally involved with his life and his problems and probably ended up sending him £50 a month for the rest of her life.

As for sending a polite/passive aggressive message to the CF - she wouldn't have held back there, why bother being passive aggressive when you can completely let rip. The keyboard would have been scorching by the time she'd finished.

Mark it down to experience OP, know you did the right thing and send the link to this thread to the CF.

Clymene · 28/01/2022 11:51

@CMZ2018

Don’t see the issue now. Bank the notes at the counter and wire the money accounting for any fees if you like. Personally I’d have just given the guide the money myself and took the notes to bank.
Perhaps you could read all the OP's posts before commenting?