to think this comment is totally inappropriate

[SantasLittleFriend]

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

No, not bog-standard perhaps, but not unreasonable either. And certainly not a disciplinary offence!

Does the reaction to this thread not give you pause at all, SLF, to think that you may be being just a weensy bit OTT about this?

BS, sorry, did I say pig? I meant...pig

I love that comment about the pig not buying you a drink!

PIG SEMEN

Right. I hereby decide not to believe that's true.

Hunker did you do it properly or milkshake styleee?hmm?

Only a drink, huh? Good to know you're such a cheap date

SLF, I've told women about the oral route (as it were) and I'm just a very ordinary student mw, not some rabid emissary from Planet Spunk. (Honest.)

If I know about it, and lots of others on this thread know about it, perhaps it's not that unusual or ridiculous a piece of advice, is it?

Actually, now I think about it, I was outraged when the midwife suggested that I have sex with dh to get things going. I mean, she was making all sorts of assumptions about me. Do you think she was suggested that I had... ahem... had sex. I'm mortified.

And anyway, if she assumed that your friend was a swallower, surely she wouldn't have deemed it necessary to explicitly say that she should "swallow". No assumption there. NOt that it is in any way a heinous crime to swallow rather than spit. Saves on tissues.

Well, I didn't believe the hype about it being more effective taken orally, so let's just say I didn't, VS

SLF your and your friend are obviously taking a big swim in lake La-La-La-I'm-Not-Listening. she is pg so what is your excuse for being so humphy?listen carefully the MW made an anecdotal quip not intended as evidence based medidine NICE or DOH or RCG guidelines or go and do this now - so Move ON

I bet it was a man who said oral is the best way

If there was no truth in it then yes, I'd agree that it's wildly inappropriate. It is true though, so it's no more offensive than being told to eat pineapple, have penetrative sex etc.

FWIW I was very embarrassed when the MW advised playing with my nipples. My embarrassment didn't warrant a complaint though. It's not the MW's fault that your friend is a little bit uptight.

If she'd suggested semen instead of colostrum for the baby, I'd have something to say about that.

I think your friend should take a bath in pig semen to see if that gets things moving.

good lord, every midwife and doula i know recommends sex and nipple stim as a good way to help get the cervix ripe and hopefully kickstart labour naturally.....

am staggered that another MW would recommend reporting another for that

seriously, it is hardly proffesional misconduct

there are so many worse things that could be done than giving a woman CORRECT ADVICE THAT HAPPENS TO CONTAIN A REFERENCE TO A SEX ACT

'rabid emissary from planet spunk'

Snaf, you need to have that printed on a tshirt !

ROFL!!

How do you know the midwife suggesting the reporting is the good midwife in this scenario? For all you know, she's bloody useless.

Or have a poster in the "staff canteen"
"You don't have to be a rabid emissary from the planet spunk to work here....but it helps"

SLF she might as well have a furtle before baby arrives cos likely she wont much feel like it after

'rabid emissary from planet spunk' oh dear god yesssss i will wear with pride

that is absolutely blinding, has snaf been on the sauce, or pif semen milkshakes

am still perturbed that this is even considered a disciplinary matter

anyhoo, yes, you are being soooo unreasonable!

LOL is that in my staff canteen we arec all potty mouth sperm lovers there - men and women

In answer to your thread title question, btw, in case you weren't sure, you are being unreasonable to think this comment is totally inappropriate.

ahem lulu

Your friend asked for advice and was given it. She doesn't have to take it. If she makes an official complaint, it will have to be investigated, statements from staff taken etc etc - valuable NHS resources will be taken up which could be spent elsewhere and possibly women in the future will not be able to be given this advice - why would you do this??