to think this comment is totally inappropriate

[SantasLittleFriend]

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

midwives maintain CPD and professionals practice to NMC (not MW btw)what she said was anecdotal a bit like being told eat ginger biscuit for nausea - thats all dont over react SLF. advice may have been unsavoury but not clinically unsound or endangering pt or baby

I think you meant "did not" there Hatrick.

not the school boy digestive biscuit game i hope...

midwives maintain CPD and professional practice to NMC (not MW btw)what she said was anecdotal a bit like being told eat ginger biscuit for nausea - thats all don't over react SLF. advice may have been unsavoury but not clinically unsound or endangering pt or baby

She was being matter-of-fact. Would your friend have preferred if the mw had asked for intimate details of her sex life before deciding whether or not she should offer this sort of advice?

It's not a judgement or an assumption. You are reading way to much into it. MWs know that women don't usually spend their days bouncing up and down on gym balls, scoffing pineapples by the ton and walking up-and-down stairs sideways (let alone twiddling their nipples) either. It doesn't stop them suggesting those methods!

snaf horah for bit of common sense

Love the word 'kerfuffle'. I guess giving oral sex would be a bit of a kerfuffle for your friend.

hatrick - she has had 2 sweeps already so I guess she is not 'horrified' by that. She had had a baby before so knows what its all about. Its just by the Midwifes suggestion about swallowing.

Oh god oh god oh god.

Tell me they don't use pig semen.

Tell me it's not true.

No pressure. This won't totally ruin my christmas or anything.

But the whole point of the suggestion would be useless if she didnt say about the swallowing. It wouldnt work at all if she spat it out

Have you not even had a little titter, slh, at this thread? COme on, you can tellus!

SLF go sleep on this major over reaction to an anecdotal quip.Complain?not really!put out?up to you!

Actually - have just read this bit: "I cannot believe a trained professional would say "why don't you have sex to get yourself into labour..."

I can't believe this is for real anymore. (Either that or I am freaking out/insulting a hell of a lot of women on an almost daily basis...)

This is absolute bog-standard advice for natural induction. Totally mainstream and ordinary and in fact the mw wouldn't be doing her job properly, imo, if she didn't at least suggest this.

But it was just a suggestion SLF - not an assumption about her sex life or an order.

I wasn't sexually active for the last 3 months of my pregnancy, but I didn't think the MW was assuming I was when she told me that sex could get things moving. I doubt if she gave 2 shits about my sex life, or had even considered whether I had one or not.

SLF, it was a suggestion. The midwife didn't ask to watch, didn't say she had to do it and expected a phone call the minute she'd done it to discuss taste and texture - it's pathetic and outrageous that this woman's going to complain about her and really, honestly, she's about to have a baby, it's Christmas Eve - surely she's got better things to worry about than a flippant BJ suggestion that may have helped her go into labour, which she clearly wants to do. Can you honestly not see that?

And come ON, I'm all for hauling unprofessional midwives over the coals, but dear GOD, this is NOT one of those times.

I don't normally eat a fresh pineapple each morning.
I don't normally tweak my nipples.
I don't normally bounce up and down on a birthing ball.

I would not however, be offended, if anyone was to suggest I do these things in an attempt to kick start a labour.

I did not get offended when my midwife suggested the penetrative sex/blow job route.

She was doing her job in giving me as much information as possible, in order that I could decide what I wanted to do.

Also, I don't normally have my cervix jiggled by a woman wearing rubber gloves in my sitting room. But needs must and all that.

Get a grip. Rather than being amused as the prissyness of this, I'm now getting narked at the possibility that someone doing their job in the way this midwife was might be complained about. And to what end? To stop her giving advice to other women who aren't so uptight and Mrs Mangelish about the issue. Pah!

Yes Snaf that is the bogg standard advice (possibly) but telling a pregnant woman to give her bloke a BJ & swallow his stuff aint.

Snaf, exactly - I have sent myself into labour twice by the natural prostaglandin method - rather DH's than some random pig who's never even bought me a drink

This has got to be a piss-take, hasn't it?

Pig semen.

I give up. She wasnt told to, how can someone tell you to do this?

I don't think you can play the "let's all be outraged it was a pregnant woman who was given this advice" SLF - the midwife is hardly going to go round telling unpregnant women to give BJs, is she?

She was trying to help, fgs!

Why is oral sex and swallowing offensive??

First I like, second not my thing (although when I was 2 weeks late with, I would seriously have considered it, had I known)

Tis a shame that a normal sexual act is considered so shameful