to think this comment is totally inappropriate

[SantasLittleFriend]

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

were you the protagonist of the planet spunk comment ! sorry , am reading in between doing a gazillion last minite things!

don't be like that lulu no string bits honest

indeedy, clinical governance team,Head Of Midwifery, the individual MW, maybe Unison, the audit team ,chief exec office, director of clinical services, maybe PALS all involved in a time consuming, bound to cause needless upset tireless paper chase -corking use of NHS resources

oh go and report her. i hope the PCT laugh in your face.

sorry but i'm quite about this (whilst roffling at bits as well, natch) do you think the mw was trying to be offensive? or do you think she was trying to do her job? and do you think the NHS have enough time and money to waste on people like you? you know, some people have genuine reasons to complain about the care they received from their mw's, your friend doesn't.

and SLF's mate, if you're reading this LOOSEN UP AND GET A FARKIN LIFE!!

stringy bits

but serious and necessary point re use of resources to process such a complaint

well said urban dryad

Great Post!!

the dump i gave birth in was investigated for a botched birth baby died - genuine sad tragic reason for complaint. MW said spunk - kind of diminishes into insignificance don't you think SLF

Perhaps the midwife could have suggested that your friend's DH ejaculates into a glass and offers it to her as a one-off gesture. No assumptions there, and not at all embarrassing

I'm convinced this is a Christmas wind-up. One for the MN classics anyway

I don't care if the thread is a windup, as long as bouncingturtle really drank that milkshake it's made my christmas

kinda like Mark D'Arcy to Bridget Jones (edited version)i like you just the* way you are STRINGY...eugh

Well I had gone to bed but am awake now, coz I've just had 4 contractions on the trot.
And the milkshake was no word of a lie...
Here's another one!

Just remembered my NCT AN teacher also mentioned semen swallowing as an effective natural induction method.

Happy Christmas Bouncingturtlewithtinsel from all us milkshake lovers

Brocollispears - are you ok? I heard the thud of you fainting from here

Is the prostaglandin thingy pig semen then?

"the dump i gave birth in was investigated for a botched birth baby died - genuine sad tragic reason for complaint. MW said spunk - kind of diminishes into insignificance don't you think SLF"

Sorry to hear what happened to you. The midwife in question IS useless because my sisters friend gave birth to a child that is severly disabled because of this particular midwife (starved of oxygen to brain). Their son is now 12 & can' t do anything for himself.

I cant believe the midwife I am talking about is still allowed to practice tbh.

My sisters friend did take the hospital in question to court about it and got a huge payout but I don;t want to go into too much detail on here. She maybe a mumnetter.

Anyway thanks for your replies & it wasnt a wind-up. I did laugh at some of your posts btw .

Hmm sounds like you have an axe to grind - YAB totally U IMHO ...what a bloody waste of valuable resources to investigate a thourouhly vindictive and unneccessaty complaint !

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I personally think the comment was inappropriate- I mean who would say something like that? Not all women are into oral sex. If she was professional she wouldnt of said that to your friend.

Not sure if i would go as far to report it though.

at this thread!

How how how was it inapropriate shiraz? It was just a suggestion!

My MW suggested eating pineapple, among other things. I'm allergic to pineapple but didn't get offended or think she was making any assumptions about me. She was just making a suggestion. I didn't take it. Simple.

Reporting her would just be a waste of time and paperwork and another indication that the world has gone mad with 'complaints'.

FFS have you nothing better to do than get yer knickers in a twist over a suggestion to 'swallow'???

not offensive at all! yabu.

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Pig semen? Don't bank on that working. A friend's 2yo nephew drank an entire bottle of pig semen (intended for artifical insemination on their farm) and he never went into labour!

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an entire bottle!!