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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this comment is totally inappropriate

400 replies

SantasLittleFriend · 24/12/2007 20:44

I phoned my friend this evening to wish her a Merry Christmas & ask how her pg was going. My best mate is 41+5 weeks pg & a midwife came to do a sweep but it was'nt her regular midwife. She told her the usual that she should go into labour very soon blah blah, however, they said that with her DD 1 and she ended up getting to nearly 43 weeks & had to be induced.

The midwife told my friend that the best way to get into labour is to have sex but to swallow is more effective, my friend said "what do you mean by swallow" and she said "you know, oral". She wan't even laughing about it either.

I really cant believe a trained professional would say something like this. Should she report this midwife? I told her she should. I would be furious. Is she being unreasonable to report her because of this comment?

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 22:25

Oh FGS, first it's a BJ, then it's swallowing, now you're saying it has to be the whole deep throat too?
Turtle, pass the milkshake.

Original poster
SantasLittleFriend · 24/12/2007 22:27

I have just spoken to my sisters mate who is a Midwife & she said in the 15 years of her career she has NEVER given advice of the sort. She said to take it further.

Glad you all find it so hilarious . I am sure my friend won't.

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 22:28

Jeez, woman, get a grip.

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:29

Oh, really, it's not a serious thing at all. It was simply advice which had a better chance of working than other suggestions. How old is your friend?

ibroughtxmascake · 24/12/2007 22:30

My midwife told me the same thing.

In her words, hot sex, hot curry, hot bath and then she told me about the bj thing. I can understand she may have found it embarrasing if she doesn't go in for oral sex, but making a complaint seems a step too far

Original poster
SantasLittleFriend · 24/12/2007 22:30

Why get a grip?

My friend is 31 why?

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 22:31

It was a comment, that was actually a good suggestion, that she said in humour, reporting it is ridiculous.

ScottishMummy · 24/12/2007 22:32

SLF - deep breath, the MW professional credibility or in integrity not in question here jusy some prissy uptights that is all - end off - OK

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:32

Because a grown woman should be able to handle such comments.

hatrick · 24/12/2007 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 22:33

I hope to God your friend doesn't have to have stitches and have the person sewing her up offer to put an extra one in there for her.

ScottishMummy · 24/12/2007 22:34

slf your friend did not get pregnant with her legs closed and hey guess what she wont give birth with her legs closed either. so ease up for gawd sake

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:35

I really don't get why people post here asking if they are being unreasonable and then get annoyed when they are told they are!

BoysAreLikeReindeer · 24/12/2007 22:37

LOL oh lol at this thread

Sorry your friend has not seen the funny side of this

ScottishMummy · 24/12/2007 22:37

LOL SLF I have HEARD SO SO MUCH WORSE in the staff canteen. Get a grip

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:39

I can only assume, scotthishmumy, that you work in a brothel!

Snaf · 24/12/2007 22:39

Nope, I have read this over and over again and I still can't see why it's offensive or worthy of complaint.

(Your mw friend might want to read up on natural methods of induction, too...)

VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 22:40

pmsl @ a brothel having a staff canteen

Original poster
SantasLittleFriend · 24/12/2007 22:40

Here we go, so a woman is being uptight if she is annoyed a Midwife suggests such a thing. I cannot believe a trained professional would say "why don't you have sex to get yourself into labour, better still why don't you give your bloke a BJ and swallow it" Well like I have said and I will repeat again, not ALL women give oral so I guess that means not swallowing. Some women may give oral but may not like swallowing & I am guessing most women probably wont like it.

OP posts:
hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:41

It's true that it's a bit of a worry that the other midwife had never heard of this. Do they not have to keep up to date?

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:41

But it's not about what she normally does.

ScottishMummy · 24/12/2007 22:42

NHS=brothel yep comparable blether in so many ways

VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 22:42

SLF, I am currently pg, and the thought of holding a pen in my mouth whilst I look for a piece of paper makes me gag, let alone swallowing dp's man juice but the midwife was just telling her something she could possibly do that could help her. It wasn't an order FFs!!!

hercules1 · 24/12/2007 22:43

How else should she have proferred this advice? If she'd have ummed and ahhed and not been direct she'd have been moaned about or if she's asked whether your friend liked to swallow before suggesting t she'd have been moaned at too.
SHould she have simpy said stick with the pigs sperm.

BaubleMonkey · 24/12/2007 22:45

Why does this suggestion have anything to do with an assumption that all women give BJs and all woman swallow? I don't get it.