How are you with phone calls?

[balladofthesadcafe]

I’m…not great. I used to have psych myself up to ring the doctors etc, but now it’s more being overheard. I didn’t realise how bad I had this until I started working in an open-plan office. It’s really affecting me tbh. I guess it’s a kind of social anxiety/phobia, a bit like a fear of public speaking.
I think the worst thing is I find being like this so embarrassing! It’s such an everyday task and taken for granted in all kinds of jobs.
Anyway, according to the internet this is apparently a lot more common than I’d realised. I wondered if anyone else is the same?

I am the same. The only person I can talk to on the phone is my mum. It takes me ages to psych myself up to make a phonecall to anyone else, and when I do, I end up stuttering so much I hang up.
I can't even bring myself to listen to voicemails, and I can take days to reply to texts.

I'm no help to you sorry. I do remember being worried calling Gov officials when I started out but with time my confidence grew and now it's just something I do. Try to remember no one is listening to you. I've worked in plenty of open plan offices and wouldn't have a clue what the person next to me was saying on the phone as I was doing my own work.

I'm fine. If I have to make or receive a call I just do it without thinking.

I just do it without any issue but I make a lot of calls for my job so I guess I'm used to it.

I have a friend who’s terrible on the phone ( she’s admitted it herself) & before I got to know her well, I used to think I must have done something wrong or offended her in some way as it was always so awkward when she phoned me.

@XenoBitch

I am the same. The only person I can talk to on the phone is my mum. It takes me ages to psych myself up to make a phonecall to anyone else, and when I do, I end up stuttering so much I hang up. I can't even bring myself to listen to voicemails, and I can take days to reply to texts.

I’m sorry, that must be really tough

I'm awful on the phone unless it's someone I know well. I hate it about myself as I feel like a child getting someone else to make the call for me, I'm fine face to face with people or even public speaking, I think it's just because I can't see their face when talking.

It gets easier the more you do it (MH issues notwithstanding). I worked as a receptionist for a bit when DC were little and it really knocked it out of me!

I don't like talking on the phone and don't like ringing friends or family to chat. I always choose email or text if it's an option for other things.

I'm okay if I plan for it. I can do social calls with a limited list of people. But I would always rather text/mail/WhatsApp/old-fashioned letter/whatever written form ahead of picking up the phone.

Ironically I work for a telecoms company.

I can't stand it and go to great lengths to avoid it.
In work I do it all the time and don't think twice about it.

I have got better but I am a serial phone call avoider. I force myself to call people now, but if it's something that can be emailed etc... instead then that's what I'll do.

@SockFluffInTheBath

It gets easier the more you do it (MH issues notwithstanding). I worked as a receptionist for a bit when DC were little and it really knocked it out of me!

To a degree. I cope with inbound calls better since working in customer services, still dreadful at making calls though 😂

@CaptainMyCaptain

I don't like talking on the phone and don't like ringing friends or family to chat. I always choose email or text if it's an option for other things.

I'm like this; however, before the internet, when it was either talk on the phone or have no contact, I was fine with it.

My theory, therefore, is that it's because there are alternatives that don't involve open-ended chats.

texting and messaging is not the same, nothing better than a good old chat voice to voice on the phone.

Messages can easily be misunderstood too as there is no voice tone.

I think it is really common actually - more so amongst younger people (by that I mean say U35s than slightly more mature folk. Probably because they have had to do less of it.
As a child, if I wanted to speak to a friend I would have to phone their house, tell their Mum or Dad who I was and ask to speak to friend - my dc have never had to do that, they just text or WhatsApp or snapchat people. They consider it quite a big deal to phone people up.
I don't think anyone likes speaking on the phone in front of other people though. I make lots of calls and am quite happy talking on the phone (much prefer it to an on-line chat), both personal life and when talking to a bank or utility company or insurance or whatever, and also through work, but I would go into a different room to make those calls.
If you are in an open plan office, could you not request some headphones and a microphone though ? Zone out a bit ?

I'm absolutely fine, i'll answer the phone, I'll make a call I have had loads of roles where it's been an absolute requirement. I don't mind chatting (as a child/teen in the 80s I spent many hours on the curly cable landline on the stairs)

But my two DC (early twenties) would rather chew their own arm off than speak to anyone on the phone. They text, they do Live Chat with companies and try to book everything online. The table ordering using the App has been right up their street at the pub. Using the phone is very much laste resort stuff.

@Kite22

I think it is really common actually - more so amongst younger people (by that I mean say U35s than slightly more mature folk. Probably because they have had to do less of it. As a child, if I wanted to speak to a friend I would have to phone their house, tell their Mum or Dad who I was and ask to speak to friend - my dc have never had to do that, they just text or WhatsApp or snapchat people. They consider it quite a big deal to phone people up. I don't think anyone likes speaking on the phone in front of other people though. I make lots of calls and am quite happy talking on the phone (much prefer it to an on-line chat), both personal life and when talking to a bank or utility company or insurance or whatever, and also through work, but I would go into a different room to make those calls. If you are in an open plan office, could you not request some headphones and a microphone though ? Zone out a bit ?

I think this is what it comes down to. Phone calls are a bit of a novelty because emailing and texting are so much more common now

Bloody hate talking on the phone in an open plan office! Having to be aware of volume and whether other people are listening. I try to type out a bit of a script or list of points so I don't go off track. Deep breathing helps as well so I don't sound strained and nervous.

@Sparklingbrook

I'm absolutely fine, i'll answer the phone, I'll make a call I have had loads of roles where it's been an absolute requirement. I don't mind chatting (as a child/teen in the 80s I spent many hours on the curly cable landline on the stairs)

But my two DC (early twenties) would rather chew their own arm off than speak to anyone on the phone. They text, they do Live Chat with companies and try to book everything online. The table ordering using the App has been right up their street at the pub. Using the phone is very much laste resort stuff.

I wonder if that’s something they manage to overcome at work?

I had a role once which involved putting tannoy messages out. That took a bit of getting used to and was never entirely comfortable doing it. Certainly hated anyone listening to me do it in the office.

I used to be like this. I just forced myself to do it and since DC I've found I've had to make more calls to docs/nursery etc so now it's just normal. I still very rarely speak to friends on the phone and prefer to message instead. So I know how you feel. But I think once you throw yourself into situations you don't have any choice it does get better with practice. I do think it's quite common though.

I wonder if that’s something they manage to overcome at work?

The eldest has a job that involves loads of online communication but no phone calls. He recently moved into his own place and he did have to use the phone a few times to the utility companies for speed and he hated it. But he seems ok on Zoom so it's all a bit strange.

Yep I absolutely hate answering the phone. I’m better when I can call them as I can get my ‘script’ together and don’t sound like a nervous wreck. I’m working on it, but I still get a sense of dread when my phone rings.

I could have written this! I didn’t realise it was such a problem until I moved from a job in which I had my own office to one where I had an open plan office and started having public panic attacks due to how nervous I would get listening to my own voice in a huge otherwise silent office. Wfh has been a godsend in that regard as I don’t mind the conversations themselves, it’s the being overheard by my boss and colleagues aspect that I hated.