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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick a pub with a log burner for a family meal?

238 replies

hippohippohippo · 09/01/2022 11:43

It's my DH's birthday and I've booked a table at a pub for us and SIL and family. We have a 6 month old and they have a 5 month old. SIL says they are free but not coming, as the pub has a logburner and it's winter and might be on. It hadn't occurred to me that this was a problem and am fine taking my DS (and have regularly been to pubs with a logburner). She insists we look for somewhere that doesn't have a fire if we want them there. Is she being unreasonable or am I?

OP posts:
DynamiteFilledRadish · 09/01/2022 14:07

@PriamFarrl

Unpopular opinion:

Bring back smoking in pubs and all of then install a log burner and then pubs can go back to being adult only spaces.

Ooh yes I'm on board with that!
Brainwave89 · 09/01/2022 14:10

We and most of our neighbours have had log burners for years. No harm has come to us or our children. The research being quoted looks at log burners in very urbanised settings, and where the wood burned is not fully dry. This is now illegal in the UK. Even with wood burning our particulate count is very low. One of my neighbours undertook to measure this once, and particulate flow was far higher from incense candles and from frying sausages than from a log burner, and the readings outside of our houses are very low indeed. Particularly compared to urban areas which have diesel vehicles running past on a 24 hour basis. In rural areas there is always a need for a back up fuel. Electricity fails on occasion and with no log burners then you are going to get very cold.

DynamiteFilledRadish · 09/01/2022 14:10

@Sparklingbrook

Do you think pubs get a lot of calls at this time of year asking if they have a log burner or an open fire before people can book? And if they say yes down goes the phone? Confused

One of our local pubs always posts on FB-'the fire's lit, the food is cooking, come on down to ' etc

Same here. I wait for the post from our local saying the fire is on and then fly up there! Is this one of those things that literally nobody in real life would think about and yet apparently MNers are actively avoiding pubs with log burners 🤣
crazyjinglist · 09/01/2022 14:11

Sitting near one for a couple of hours as a one-off is probably fine. I think I'd probably choose not to with a newborn though, since it's not exactly hard to avoid. I'm really surprised so many people still seem not to be aware how bad they are for your health if you use them regularly though.

Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2022 14:13

I was reluctant to say I feel the same @DynamiteFilledRadish, for fear of getting a lecture, but whenever that post goes up I always think 'sounds good to me!' As longs as I don't have to sit so near to the fire my cheek is burning.

JabNotInArm · 09/01/2022 14:16

@crazyjinglist

Sitting near one for a couple of hours as a one-off is probably fine. I think I'd probably choose not to with a newborn though, since it's not exactly hard to avoid. I'm really surprised so many people still seem not to be aware how bad they are for your health if you use them regularly though.
This
erinaceus · 09/01/2022 14:19

She is being somewhat PFB. Can you push the problem back onto her and suggest that she proposes another venue that suits you all?

maddy68 · 09/01/2022 14:21

I would ask her to find a suitable venue

TruJay · 09/01/2022 14:21

Eh? Why? Dh and I had a fantastic meal yesterday, we were seated right next to the fire and it was heaven Smile I’m always cold so it was fantastic for me.

thenightsky · 09/01/2022 14:23

@Woodlandwater

If it's a closed door log burner there is minimal risk. The risk to people sitting in a room is when the door is opened for refuelling, and most risk to the person doing the refuelling. People have conflated the pollution that ends up in the room and the pollution that ends up out of the chimney. It is not like having a diesel engine in your living room if you are careful with refuelling, have a closed door system and a lined chimney. I use mine with an air purifier that kicks in when the air quality drops, it only ever kicks in when I open the door and even then only for a few minutes before the air is clean.
Which air purifier do you have please?

We have a wood burning stove, but only have it on about twice a month over the winter months and only if its a bitterly cold day. But, I like the idea of a purifier that switches itself on when needed.

BendicksBittermints4Breakfast · 09/01/2022 14:23

@erinaceus

She is being somewhat PFB. Can you push the problem back onto her and suggest that she proposes another venue that suits you all?
It would be a venue that suits her and her PFB, she isn't they type to consider others by the sound of it.
ArblemarchTFruitbat · 09/01/2022 14:25

Log burners worse for health than smoking?

Great - let's ban log burners and bring back smoking in pubs. No more shivering outside when you want a ciggy and everyone is healthier - win win!

AgathaAllAlong · 09/01/2022 14:31

I think you should be kinder towards SIL. Log burner pollution in small lungs is a genuine issue, but even if you think she's just being silly, why not just let her find a venue or suggest an alternative? It obviously is a problem for her or her DH, so why would you not want your family in attendance, stress free?

There might be backgound problems, one of them might have anxiety, for example. My DP suffers from what I think is anxiety, and he was insufferable when DS was born. Log burner is classic example of the type of thing he wouldn't have allowed. In that situation I would have had to say no too, and it would have been very upsetting to me. She has opened up and explained the problem to you. Instead of ridiculing it or asking who is being unreasonable, the best thing to do would be to just find somehwere that suits. Hopefully she would do the same if ever something she sees as silly becomes a problem for you.

busyeatingbiscuits · 09/01/2022 14:34

I'm not precious generally, but I probably wouldn't choose to take a baby to sit in an enclosed room with a fire/log burner if there were other options to be honest.

Concestor · 09/01/2022 14:34

She has genuine concerns based on fact. Book somewhere else unless you want her to think you don't like her.

ivykaty44 · 09/01/2022 14:36

No harm has come to us or our children.

There is no way you can possibly know that....yet

The burners can triple the number of damaging particles in a room, and should not be used around children or the elderly people, researchers say. The pollution they cause is understood to be linked to lung cancer, bronchitis and other respiratory infections, strokes, Parkinson's disease and dementia

Woodlandwater · 09/01/2022 14:40

@thenightsky it's a Philips a20820 I think. Its about £150 but we got it in a sale for £80. We only have a small room so its fine for us and I did research about the size of particles it purifies. The Dyson ones are also very good and filter out formaldehyde but are expensive in comparison, and like you, we only in use it occassionally. We are in the south east so haven't even needed central heating for most of winter so far!

DanielRicciardosSmile · 09/01/2022 14:41

@PriamFarrl

The problem with cars these days is that journeys take so long. One gets stuck behind horses for several hours these days even if popping down to the local pub.

Where are you that you get stuck behind horses for hours?

I believe thats a callout to the thread about horses and the highway code.
HardbackWriter · 09/01/2022 14:42

I would also be fine with it for a couple of hours for my own baby. But the answers here would be so different if you were suggesting exposing a baby to cigarette smoke for a couple of hours...

simonisnotme · 09/01/2022 14:48

They wont be banned unless everyone everywhere stops outdoor burning

Dguu6u · 09/01/2022 15:06

She has a point. Most people are ignorant and oblivious. It does impact indoor air quality and little kids are more susceptible to bad air quality. It can cause all kinds of nasty conditions. We are just at the beginning of understanding the impacts poor air quality has on health and life expectancy.

The worst are fine particles. There is NO safe limit of fine particles, meaning that any level is bad and damages your lungs. And yes, log burners pollute a room with them. None are perfectly sealed and when you open the door, the room will get flooded www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/dec/18/wood-burners-triple-harmful-indoor-air-pollution-study-finds

But yes, let’s all laugh at SIL because you haven’t realised the risk to your kid Hmm

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 09/01/2022 15:09

She's allowed to be worried but it's your DH's birthday and if he wants to go there, she should decline politely, not kick up a fuss and refuse to go unless you change location.

His birthday, his choice.

FourTeaFallOut · 09/01/2022 15:13

I wonder how many eye rolls and accusations of anxiety and PFB behaviour did new mums have to put up with back when the dangers of second hand smoke were known but reluctantly believed due to the inconvenience it caused?

BungleandGeorge · 09/01/2022 15:13

Since when is a 5/6 month old baby a newborn?
Honestly if it was me I wouldn’t have an issue with it but I can see her point, they probably aren’t great for babies lungs and it’s the season for RSV and other respiratory viruses. I don’t really notice the smell of open fires but some log burners give off a very strong aroma that puts me off my food! I’m not sure if that is the fuel used in them or how they are vented or cleaned?

AnnaMagnani · 09/01/2022 15:17

You don't have to be 'severely asthmatic' to be harmed by log burners.

Just asthmatic and have log burners as a trigger. I got asked about them at my asthma review last week so clearly not just shite that is written in the Guardian.

I can manage a room with a log burner in but the inhaler will be out unless they are burning briquettes, unlikely in a pub as they aren't as pretty, and downwind of the chimney the woodsmoke will have me coughing.