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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick a pub with a log burner for a family meal?

238 replies

hippohippohippo · 09/01/2022 11:43

It's my DH's birthday and I've booked a table at a pub for us and SIL and family. We have a 6 month old and they have a 5 month old. SIL says they are free but not coming, as the pub has a logburner and it's winter and might be on. It hadn't occurred to me that this was a problem and am fine taking my DS (and have regularly been to pubs with a logburner). She insists we look for somewhere that doesn't have a fire if we want them there. Is she being unreasonable or am I?

OP posts:
ancientgran · 09/01/2022 13:28

@hippohippohippo

Sorry - thought I had replied!

Her issue is pollution yes, she sent me the same article. But I had assumed that 2 hours in her brother's favourite pub for his birthday would be okay!

I have suggested she comes to ours first instead... will she have a similar problem with candles on his birthday cake?!

I guess your husband should decide which is more important to him, he might not care if his sister is there or it might be really important to him. Why not ask him what he'd prefer?
Lockheart · 09/01/2022 13:30

@JabNotInArm And how do you imagine one might become "severely asthmatic"?

What makes a person susceptible to asthma is not entirely understood, and could be due to inherited susceptibility, childhood illness, allergies, a premature birth etc.

Asthma attacks can be triggered by pollutants and irritants (such as smoke from a log burner).

Magnited · 09/01/2022 13:34

You forgot dairy!

CheeryTreeBlossom · 09/01/2022 13:34

Log burners really are that bad, the studies are clear.
In terms of effects my DSis has generally mild asthma, despite working in central London and living in zone 2, plenty of cars around.
She went to the pub two weeks ago with one of these burning, she said the pub got noticeably smokey and since she has had a hacking cough and is needing to use her inhaler a lot more.

The particulate matter from an open fire is very bad. We have an air purifier/monitor and I can tell when a neighbour somewhere on the road fires up a log burner or barbeque from the monitor going red and beeping (hazardous exposure if long term) before I smell it.

Flutterflybutterby · 09/01/2022 13:36

She is being unreasonable and dramatic.

Nanny0gg · 09/01/2022 13:37

@Floralnomad

Perhaps your sister has a friend like me - I have lung disease ( life long non smoker ) and it makes me short of breath just walking past a house with a log burner alight .
Absolutely.

My DiL cannot be in a room with a log burner as it is very detrimental to her health.

And next door's fire/chimney often caused her problems too

Nanny0gg · 09/01/2022 13:38

@hippohippohippo

Sorry - thought I had replied!

Her issue is pollution yes, she sent me the same article. But I had assumed that 2 hours in her brother's favourite pub for his birthday would be okay!

I have suggested she comes to ours first instead... will she have a similar problem with candles on his birthday cake?!

See, that's just nasty.

She might be being a bit PFB, but she's not entirely wrong

FourTeaFallOut · 09/01/2022 13:39

Yeah, I wouldn't choose to go there but I have asthma which, among a host of other things, is triggered by smoke.

FourTeaFallOut · 09/01/2022 13:40

I wouldn't go with a baby either.

Flowerpower23 · 09/01/2022 13:40

Our Wetherspoons has an open fire 😆 @JesusInTheCabbageVan

LessTime · 09/01/2022 13:40

Is it a one room pub?

I’ve seen plenty of threads where MILs (inevitably) are banned from holding babies because they smoke? (The mil smoke not the babies 🤔)

Magnited · 09/01/2022 13:42

@ivykaty44

will SIL be taking her dc in the car? ever?

pollution inside a car is much worse for a baby than an adult, and therefore you'll need to let SIL know,
www.theguardian.com/environment/2019/apr/10/vehicle-pollution-results-in-4m-child-asthma-cases-a-year

I doubt an afternoon in a pub with a log burner will be much more polluting

No, not any more.

The problem with cars these days is that journeys take so long. One gets stuck behind horses for several hours these days even if popping down to the local pub.

PersonaNonGarter · 09/01/2022 13:47

This is bonkers. YANBU

girasol · 09/01/2022 13:47

@JabNotInArm

Log burners are bloody horrible things - worse for air quality than Diesel engines.

Doubt it'll be long until they're banned.

www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/dec/18/wood-burners-triple-harmful-indoor-air-pollution-study-finds

This ^ sadly. They are truly horrific for the environment and for the health of people in close proximity.

Here’s another article about it:
www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/dec/17/wood-burners-urban-air-pollution-cancer-risk-study

Omicrone · 09/01/2022 13:50

Tell that to the parents of Ella Kissi

Well quite.

So I would have thought that sitting in a pub that has a closed door log burner in it somewhere for a couple of hours is the least of anyone's worries.

daisyjgrey · 09/01/2022 13:50

@JabNotInArm

Log burners are bloody horrible things - worse for air quality than Diesel engines.

Doubt it'll be long until they're banned.

www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/dec/18/wood-burners-triple-harmful-indoor-air-pollution-study-finds

Presumably you don't live in the arse end of beyond where log burners/solid fuel is how you heat your house and cook 🤨

PriamFarrl · 09/01/2022 13:51

The problem with cars these days is that journeys take so long. One gets stuck behind horses for several hours these days even if popping down to the local pub.

Where are you that you get stuck behind horses for hours?

Sparklingbrook · 09/01/2022 13:51

Do you think pubs get a lot of calls at this time of year asking if they have a log burner or an open fire before people can book? And if they say yes down goes the phone? Confused

One of our local pubs always posts on FB-'the fire's lit, the food is cooking, come on down to ' etc

Original poster
hippohippohippo · 09/01/2022 13:52

Genuine question, not a jibe! I.e. are burning matches/ candles the same issue? I wasn't particularly aware of it before this!

OP posts:
CovidCorvid · 09/01/2022 13:58

@MogsBestestFurball

She's worried about the emissions from the log burner and her young baby. Perfectly reasonable.
Really? For a couple of hours? I think for their to be any detrimental effect it needs to be more of a long term exposure. If kid has chronic asthma maybe it’s different.
LIZS · 09/01/2022 13:58

@hippohippohippo

Genuine question, not a jibe! I.e. are burning matches/ candles the same issue? I wasn't particularly aware of it before this!
To a far lesser degree. The issue is particulate emissions from fossil fuels and wood, so small as to be invisible. I wonder if we are storing up lung problems for future by the current trend for wood burners, even using cleaner wood. One off exposure should not be an issue but in a young baby with a nasty respiratory virus in rapid circulation anyway is it worth a risk?
AfterSchoolWorry · 09/01/2022 14:00

They cause asthma flare ups.

See also: scented candles, plug in air fresheners, those dangly car fresheners etc

Arseanall · 09/01/2022 14:04

YANBU - change the booking, don’t invite her. It’s 2 hours fgs

WetLookKnitwear · 09/01/2022 14:05

Fair enough.

I love fires but they do make the house sooty.

Giggorata · 09/01/2022 14:05

Paraffin candles are made from petroleum by products and do emit pollutants and carcinogens.
I don't suppose birthday cake candles will do much harm, for the milliseconds people are exposed to them.