Quite cross

[GrannyGoggles]

I would like to buy something quite extravagant which I don’t need. I can afford it. Our adult children will enjoy it too. We have room to store it.

I have asked my husband to look at choosing the specification, as a) he’s competent at such things and b) historically if I’ve made such a purchase without consulting it’s resulted in a massive sulk.

His verdict is that we don’t need it, it’s expensive and extravagant.

Unlike the ride on lawnmower that’s awaiting delivery? His most recent 4 wheel drive? The machine that’s on order for ‘our’ (his) business that IMO is entirely unnecessary?

I’m quite cross

In answer to Noisyprat and others

I am not asking permission. I’ll get it if I want to.

Historically he was upset when I made a unilateral decision on a furniture purchase and genuinely forgot to tell him about it until it was delivered. I’d have been v cross if he’d done that. He shows anger by sulking. I yell.

If he wants a machine he’ll get it. And always, always be able to justify it. Which I accept, he works hard, is successful, loves kit and will always look to get value.

So, the dynamic may be that we both do
and get what we want, don’t need to consult on minor purchases, prefer to be considered and consensual on bigger ticket items?

I was convinced it was a white, grand piano.

Get it. You will love it. Then you can start accumulating eggcessories to go with. Pizza stone is good!

@3luckystars

Is it a puppet show like the one in the Sound of Music

@3luckystars Oh I love the way your mind works! This is the BEST suggestion. Haven't looked to see what exactly makes a Green Egg special but I bet it is not as much fun as this

So, the dynamic may be that we both do
and get what we want, don’t need to consult on minor purchases, prefer to be considered and consensual on bigger ticket items?

I think if you make you’re own money you can buy whatever you want but you should work out a limit that you can spend without consulting each other, anything over this you need to tell each other.
I think that’s what most couples do.

I have one. Worth every penny.

I think “quite cross’ is a marvellous description. Almost as marvellous as a green egg. I have one, it’s fabulous. I too would discuss such purchases with my DH however, if he told me I didn’t need it and and sulked about it (and we could afford it) I would ignore his man child like display and buy one anyway. My DH occasionally raises an eyebrow at some of my purchases, but, like yours, he has the mower etc, so wouldn’t actually say anything!

tantrum time. remind the remit. help to select. if not-you'll do self. thats the verdict.you wasnt ask permission.

Hmmm. I don't think it's unreasonable per se to be cross with DH given his purchasing history and I can understand how it would put a dampener on the purchase if he's going to be grumpy about it. Just considering the situation from his perspective, I suppose he's being uncooperative because he thinks it's unnecessary, unlike his own deeply necessary 'investments'. Has it occurred to him that you may feel the same about those as he does the egg, but you haven't chosen to be mardy about those?

I don't think he's being controlling or a dick, as some have suggested. I just think he's having a big old empathy fail.

We do live in the UK and have a fairly large garden he has held off on building his outdoor kitchen (barbecue area) as the egg can be moved around to avoid prevailing wind.

Tonight is steak night on the small egg, the advantage of the closed egg means he can use it despite poor weather.

Buy it. Let me know when you are having the MN BBQ. I'll bring a bottle

See this is why we don’t share all out money.
We have joint money that we use to pay bills etc. That way if DH wants to spend all his money on something he can. I also bought an Ooni and a Velvetiser without any guilt at all. It’s my money and I’ll do what I like.

But two and tell him you're enjoying the peace when he's in his inevitable sulk 😎

P.s maybe don't take my advice as I'm in a man hating mood induced by DP being a massive twat this afternoon!

Good advertising for the green egg which it seems many of us had never heard of but are now googling!

YANBU to get one if you want to

YABU to expect DH to be enthusiastic if it isn't his thing