Woman across the street staring into my house

[Littlejayx]

I live on a busy road in a large village, over the past few weeks I have been home more due to home working starting up again. I used to get alerts from my lighting system that ‘living room had been triggered’ and thought it must be passing traffic, until I was sat down working today to see a neighbour stood scouring my whole living room (not seeing me due to positioning) then light sensor turned on (was off as I hadn’t moved)

I’ve had quite a few run ins with her about letting her dog foul outside my front door/drive, using my bins and trying to stop my Gardner trimming hedges. What do I do? 😩 last time I spoke to her she shouted at me on the street and threatened to report me for assault!

I’m living alone with two young children and hate the thought of her stood looking in my house

If she's in your yard it's private property, as opposed to public property which is the street. If install a ring doorbell and or cctv and alert the police and confront her too

We have some Eufy cameras - they are brilliant, better value than Ring etc. and you don't pay a subscription. You can set your phone to alert when someone walks up to them (you can set the area so not the whole street). Best of all you can talk to the person through the camera! Just a "can I help you?" so she knows she is being watched but she can't see you there (and doesn't know if you are home) might do the job....

@Littlejayx
I know exactly how you feel , I have the same kind of size useless yard ( big enough for 4 Wheelie bins but that is it ) and I have 2 nosy sods that use to look in , one stood there for up to 2 mins at a time ! he did not have a dog / kids / reason for stopping .
My house in naturally quite dark so there is no way I want the curtains shut and I cant abide nets or blinds so I put them up . they are cheap and easy to install ( some self adessive , some static )

#www.wilko.com/en-uk/d-c-fix-frost-effect-self-adhesive-film-675cm-x-1-5m/p/0309596

www.wilko.com/en-uk/d-c-fix-splinter-window-film-45cm-x-2m/p/0463671

They do a mirrored one too but you can see through it at night if the light is on .
www.wilko.com/en-uk/d-c-fix-window-mirror-privacy-self-adhesive-film-9-0cm-x-15m/p/0466267

DC fix do loads of different designs have a look on amazon

I love the idea PP said , take a photo of her and blow it up and stick it to the window ,

Or this should send her running !
www.amazon.co.uk/Constable-Cardboard-different-designs-Standee/dp/B01I1H7NVW?th=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Stand up and take a photo on your mobile or film her and do it in front of her. If it doesn't stretch you financially get cameras installed. She sounds like a nutter and they don't normally stop until they're in court so get as much evidence as you can.

call police, just to warn them about her. Or ask security question from your security. that's not a good sign.

what I meant, it's not good sign that randoms are staring into your place. I would call the police and ask them what can I or them do.

@Joystir59

I'd call the police. She is trespassing repeatedly.

Trespassing is a civil offence. Police don't do anything

Ohh @Littlejayx I have just thought of another idea , ok its a expensive way to get rid of the nosey sod but I would have fun changing his position and dressing him up in assorts of weird outfits

www.amazon.co.uk/vidaXL-Mannequin-Retail-Window-Display/dp/B00E1ERI4M/ref=sr_1_24?crid=2OO3HLOLNS86R&keywords=shop+male+full+size+mannequin&sprefix=Shop+male++full+size+Mannequin%2Caps%2C88&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1641665814&sr=8-24

Why should you have to put blinds up
Etc? Challenge her! I’ll come and do it for you if you like

The next time you see her doing it jump up open the window and ask her what she wants the nosey cow!!

I'd be inclined to get a ring door bell and view the video. If it is as you say could you call the police associated with your previous incident and ask for advice?? As you say, she may have connections with exP. Not to worry you but it gives you cause to ask for advice. It is weird stalkerish behaviour

I might be inclined to ask your brother to pop by more often too to talk to her.

This happened to my brother and he got shutters installed.

Some obvious stuff:

1. Install a ring doorbell or cctv camera to log her incursions
2. Blinds
3. Buy some large spikey plants (Holly, Cactus, Thorny Bush, Blackberrys) and have them in large planters infront of the window all the way to the fence. Then not only will she not want to be there but if she damages the planters or pots on camera then have her arrested for vandalism and criminal damage.

Tbh with a bit of effort and common sense this isn't a difficult issue to solve.

Violence isn’t the answer but sometimes it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Snake pit 🐍

Video her.show video to someone who's opinion you respect(teacher, brother ?) If they find it as creepy as you do, go to your local police station and let a duty officer have a look (or phone 112). Its possible she's a little odd but it's also possible she's already known to police and /or social services. Whichever way you go, remember you have the right to feel safe in your own home and so do your children

Get a Dave Grohl cardboard cutout from Amazon and position him staring out!

PS do NOT engage with her in person. In ANY form

I am sorry you have experienced DV. I have too and it does make you weary of people and more concerned about your security. I have also had weird neighbours who liked to come into my property and stare in windows at my family. We put blinds up but they found new ways to harass us. Worth nipping it in the bud before she keeps this up. Activating the alarm when she is at the window sounds like a great idea. It would be good to keep a log of when she does this and then contacting police. It is harassment and could easily be playing games with you making you think it is your ex or as mentioned reporting back to him. I am glad you have the support of your brother

I have gorse alongside the path to my door. Originally planted to deter previous neighbours from cutting across my garden to get to their house, as they would stand talking outside my window, and their daughter and her friends would run all over my plants and flowers. (My front garden is 3x4 metres)
Came in very useful when a visitor to their house got into an argument with the mother, as he had a massive tantrum and punched the gorse after trying to run through it. He stopped, looked at his hand, and swiped at it again 🥴

This takes me back thirty years, to when I was a young divorced woman with a small child. I had my own house, no man around. The neighbours could not cope. Looking in, commenting, making assumptions. Curiosity bordering on obsession.

There's so much more technology around today. Film the old besom and show the community police. You're alone with your children, you don't need any bullying from neighbours.

I lived with my best mate when we were 18/19, sometimes neighbours from the houses at the back would park in her parking place so she would block them in. This went on for a while they kept doing it and we wouldn't answer our buzzer to them. It got petty. Anyway they'd always be looking up to get our attention to get their car free. We wasn't 100% sure if they where infact looking up at our windows one time until we jumped up and down on my bed topless, they seen. It stopped the war, 16 years later we still laugh about it.

You shouldnt need to get blinds or shut your curtains because a rude person is staring into your house! If that was me, i would literally go out and say to her why are you looking in?

My neighbour across the road was doing similar for years. It only stopped when I started taking pictures of him doing it. Go to the front door with your phone, camera ready, open the door quickly and very obviously take a few snaps - works a treat.

Also consider getting a camera pointing towards her house.

My own view is to go out and ask her if you can help you, you have noticed her looking in and wondered if she wanted to talk to you?

She may be mentally unwell? If she is not response or reasonable, I would then ignore her. Be polite, dont get into a situation which might be recorded, but just ignore her and keep the curtains shut for a while.

She will lose interest hopefully