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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want s-i-l's presents?

51 replies

deeeja · 23/12/2007 16:11

My sil is due round in approx half an hour. She will ring unsuitable present for ds2 which she got from the market, she will then buy something for ds3(asd) which he will not like, or will just not notice, and she will buy something for ds4 which is for too babyish. All of it iwll be from the market, so cheap andunsafe. ds3 likes to mouth everything, and so does ds4. Ds2 will get bored of it, he prefers creative toys or things he can build.
I odn't know why she bothers. She will make lots of horriblw comments about ds3 and will then make ds4 cry. He absolutely HATES her, because he is after all an excellent judge of character.

OP posts:

FlllightAttendant · 23/12/2007 16:12

Why are you having her round????!

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 23/12/2007 16:13

What a witch! I'm guessing you only have her round in support of your brother?

Some people are just vile.

Original poster

deeeja · 23/12/2007 16:17

Because if I don't have her round, dh will be grumpy all year!

OP posts:

Original poster

deeeja · 23/12/2007 16:17

She is dh's sister!

OP posts:

VeronicaMars · 23/12/2007 16:18

Turn off the lights and pretend you're not there. She sounds dreadful. Bloody families why do they make life so difficult!!
My bil and his partner always buy dd toys that are a)way too old for her with lots of small parts that go straight into the mouth or she just can't work them or b)that destroy her clothes and the house, paints of colours that don't wash off. I know the thought is there but have a little bit of sense ffs. They got her play dough when she was five months old.
Still at least they're not from the market!

FrannyandZooey · 23/12/2007 16:20

If anybody made horrible comments about any of my children they would not be coming back in my house

hatrick · 23/12/2007 16:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

seeker · 23/12/2007 16:22

Mmmmmmm - terrible thing, buying presents at the market. I always check what shop the presents people give my dcs come from, and if I don't think it's suitable, I give them back and tell them to go and get something else. They don't mind - after all, it's important they realize their mistake and try to do better next time...I'm only doing them a service....

ADDICTEDtosayingHAAAAAAAPYxmas · 23/12/2007 16:23

nothing wrong with getting stuff from the market.

nametaken · 23/12/2007 16:28

If it's your dh who wants her there why don't you just arange to go out with friends and leave them too it

mumzyof2 · 23/12/2007 19:25

tbh, I wouldnt like toys from a market for my ds. Its not that theyre necessarily crap, you just dont know where theyve come from, or who's made them.
How does she make your dc's cry?
I wouldnt put up with that. Why does your dh want someone in his house that makes his children cry??

Original poster

deeeja · 23/12/2007 21:17

Well, she came, she brought crappy cheap and potentially dangerous toys,I gave them back. She left in a huff.
Me and dh had huge row.
My ds3 has asd, and his toys need to be suitable for mouthing. I do not want to risk the safety of my children, just to keep her happy. She doesn't even care about them enough to buy decent toys for them, and she is not lacking money. Even then £2 on a decent safe thing like crayons, better than that tat she buys!
Still all over for today!
Till tomorrow when mil will come over no doubt with same toys and try to give them back to us! Together with lots of hand-me -downs in stoo small sizes!

OP posts:

hatrick · 23/12/2007 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Saturn74 · 23/12/2007 21:25

What Hatrick said.

twentypence · 23/12/2007 21:26

You gave back the toys - wow! Sounds like this is about a lot more than toys really.

BIL bought ds a ceramic mug full of sweets when he was 11 months old, last year he got him a gun (fortunately not real). I said "say thank you" and then popped them in my handbag sharpish. I didn't give them back. I'm sure this year ds will get some quite horrible things, but I would never give them back.

I don't think it's worth rowing with your dh about, when you still have time to donate them to the Salvation Army or something!

Wisteria · 23/12/2007 21:27

I think it's terrible to give gifts back to someone, no matter how unsuitable you may consider them - I'm quite shocked actually...

discoverlife · 23/12/2007 21:27

Good for you, sometimes we are too polite. maybe she will think about the presents next year.

snowflowervalley · 23/12/2007 21:30

HOw did you know what the presents where?
Where they unwrapped?

Heated · 23/12/2007 21:37

My children do get some weird and wonderful presents from dh's side of the family, but even if inappropriate (like the bow and arrow set for ds's 2nd birthday) they are thanked and a card written.

There must be more to this, to spark what seems like quite a harsh response.

hercules1 · 23/12/2007 21:40

Blimey! I'm also assuming there is far more to it than your posts.

Original poster

deeeja · 23/12/2007 21:53

The pressies were for Eid, and she never wraps them.
I have talked to her before about buying more suitable toys, she just refuses point blank. So she knows exactly what she is doing, she knows the toys are dangerous. Yet she continues, because she doesn't care about my childrens' safety!
I find that just AAAAAAAARGH!
She sees us as second class citizens in a way. Primarily because I don't work and stay home to take care of the kids!She therefore thinks I in particular should never buy new clothes, makeup or get a haircut, because I don't work. Our tv needs replacing, so she has said that we don't need a tv, and should just make do without one! Sanctimonious little !
Therefore she buys my kids crappy toys because they presumably donot deserve decent ones!
She has also said that it does not matter what ds3 has, because he doesn't play anyway!

So not harsh at all actually!

OP posts:

Quattrocento · 23/12/2007 21:54

Gosh we get tons of unwanted presents. We just recycle them. It never occurred to me to return them.

Wouldn't returning them cause offence?

Or is that what you wanted/needed to do? What's going on behind the scenes?

hercules1 · 23/12/2007 21:55

WHy would she even come round to see you then? WHy let her through the door if she hates you all so much?

Original poster

deeeja · 23/12/2007 22:03

You wouldn't want to recycle these, they are the type that fall apart in your hands, with little parts that can be sucked off nad swallowed.
I could never recycle them!
She comes round to see her brother.
She only comes rond when she has problems in life. She has a muslim boyfriend, who lets her down all the time, she is not muslim, and because me and dh are muslim, she thinks that we can help her. She needs to dump him, but that is another story!
If I don't let her in at all, mil would be upset. Mil is quite nice and quite old, and I really quite like her.
I let her in because of family politics, that age old reason!

OP posts:

Dixichik · 23/12/2007 22:04

Maybe you could suggest she buys the children a £5 woolworths voucher in future. TBH it doesn't matter how much my inlaws spend on my kids, as long as they get something, however cheap or small - It means at least they are thought of.

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