Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

If you went to the theatre, there was money for the cinema and a TV.

@RoyalFamilyFan

If you went to the theatre, there was money for the cinema and a TV.

There might be money for the cinema but not necessarily theatre AND the cinema, so it comes back to priorities. £100 at the theatre of a few trips to the cinema

Or theatre less plus cinema.

They kept horses and sailed, so there likely would have been money for both if they'd wanted.

You're right though - it's just spending choices.

@RoyalFamilyFan

Or theatre less plus cinema.

She said rarely not never cinema. But it's still about priorities. There's nothing wrong with prioritising theatre over cinema and putting money aside for one thing over another.

I did not say there was anything wrong with prioritising theatre.
But I hear this over and over again. Oh we didn't have much cash we never had...reels off a list of cheap things. Although we did have...reels off a lost of expensive things.
There is nothing wrong with those expensive things. But it was clearly about values and not money.

Although it is fair to say that few people used to have lunches out unless they had a works canteen or it was school dinners. When I was in London in the late eighties you had the opening of a few trendy sandwich places that did sandwiches with modern fillings that were really tasty. But in most places all you could buy were very basic ham and cheese type sandwiches. Anyone with basic ability could make nicer ones at home.

@RoyalFamilyFan
Yes, coupled with the heavy implication (or even outright statement) that the cheap things that they do not spend money on are far more wasteful and less worthy than the expensive things they do spend money on.

@CSJobseeker Yes snobbery is alive and well.

I’d put myself into this category. DH and I each earn 6 fig salaries yet I love a bargain. Who doesn’t?
Wear cheap clothes from Zara. Am very frugal in the supermarket. Probably spend maybe £85 a week. Also happily get second hand uniform for the DC. Their school coat is £80 new. I got one in the school second hand sale for a tenner.
School fees, high mortgage payments and savings aside, my disposable income goes on socialising/eating out regularly and expensive holidays several times a year. Designer clothes and shoes no longer bring me any joy. It’s all about priorities really.

Op you accurately describe MC /UMCfamilies.
Happy to recycle uniform etc as it feels good. It's easy way fine as eco friendly
Then wreck enviro rating by going on a ski trip

@Bortles you can't extrapolate from people turning down pressure from canvassers to suggesting that makes them mean. I hate door to door canvassing I think it is morally questionable to pressure often vulnerable or lonely people to sign up to monthly donations so would always say no as a matter of principle. I don't feel the need to justify this by setting out the amount I give through GAYE and standing orders.

Poor people give far more of their disposable income to charity proportionately than well off people This is well researched.

@RoyalFamilyFan I meant to follow up by saying that I was sure (from my time mentoring in the charity sector) that was probably correct. But I don't like the example of canvassers being used to illustrate it because I find the practice morally dubious at best

@Longcovid21

I moved to a new area recently and bought a small end of terrace in a naice area. The children go to a public but horribly middle class school. I'm sure the other parents judge me for living in a small house but what they don't know is I still own a large farmhouse in another part of the country. But yes, people are so judgey!

They'll j

@Longcovid21 yep they'll assume you are poorer than those in bigger houses. No denying it.

My kids live in hand me downs as it's not a priority for me. They aren't bothered ( ages under 12, it will change)
We do spend an eye watering amount on all their extra curricular stuff.
Priorities

[quote forcedfun]@RoyalFamilyFan I meant to follow up by saying that I was sure (from my time mentoring in the charity sector) that was probably correct. But I don't like the example of canvassers being used to illustrate it because I find the practice morally dubious at best[/quote]
RoyalFamilyFan is right that poorer people do give proportionally more of their income overall. The very rich give proportionally very little:

fundraising.co.uk/2021/12/15/donations-from-uks-richest-have-fallen-20-despite-their-income-rising/

@nettie434 I am not disputing that. Just criticising the example of canvassers being used because I find going door to door pressuring people to sign up incredibly unethical

I absolutely agree with you about door to door canvassing, forcedfun. I just wanted to point out that we know a lot about who gives what and that while not giving money to door to door canvassers doesn't mean that the person doesn't give to charity at all, RoyalFamilyFun was right to make the point that poorer people give more of their incomes to charity.

@limitedperiodonly

Oh God, not this old shit again about how the upper class have motheaten clothes and muddy Labradors and don't fritter their money away on big tellies like common people.

Quite. The Made in Chelsea lot and Caroline Stanbury are hardly bumming around in knackered clothes and forgoing the delights of expensive plastic surgery.

Guys I absolutely do not want to start an argument. I am just sharing my experience. Yes, i worked for a very long time in central London. Derelict council houses just next to million pounds houses, all served by one giant Sainsbury. When you walk the streets, you recognize your customers and see which house they come in. Yes, they all buy at the same place. Yes “Rich” people take the Tesco cake because they do not care what anyone will say/ think. Yes, private tutor is prioritizing eduction. I spent all of my life blaming my upbringing for my problems: Class I was born into, parents level of education deciding of mine, lack of family money so no property ladder, lack of holidays. My life changed when I realized that some people make better choices and I can’t always blame outside factors for my own poor decisions

I am not saying that ALL people within their socio-economical class are all the same! I am just saying that there are SOME patterns of behaviors like in any other groups. People with less disposable income tend to spend it way more than other categories with more. There was this incredible experiment on youtube where they made people play monoply. The higher the income, the more conservative the player. The lower, the least careful. It is true. Every single day I see the same 10/20 families who I KNOW are on UC because they speak on the phone or to their friends in front of me. Every day, they come 2 or three time with the same 20 that becomes a tenner that becomes a fiver and they look for things to buy with the left over pennies. Every day for two decades I have seen the same pattern. They just roam the store looking for something to buy. This tenner once a twice a week would definitely be enough money for a nice holiday or a tutor fee etc.

@PenguinIce

I do find it strange how:

Middle class people who buy their children second hand clothes but go on fancy holidays are frugal and something to aspire to. Yet lower class people who buy their children second hand clothes but have an iPhone haven’t ‘got their priorities right’ and should be shamed.

That's because, in this theoretical situation, the money that was put towards the iPhone could've been put towards an experience for the children. iphones are quality but unnecessary for a lot of people where a standard phone would do the job. So buying an iPhone instead of that is actually quite shameful.

@Ninkanink

It’s much easier and more palatable to be frugal when it’s a choice. It’s also much easier and more palatable when you already have everything you need and an abundance more. Frugality in the little things feels really good when you can comfortably afford to pay for the big things.

This!