Middle Class/Upper middle class most frugal with money (in a good way!)

[Montana7]

Out of our friends with dc the same age as ours the most middle class & upper middle seem to be the most frugal & love a bargain.. Many are very high earners yet dc wear second hand clothes, uniforms, the families are very good with food & pride themselves on zero waste... Have great holidays think safaris, multiple ski trips pre covid but always prided themselves on getting the best deals... I think its bloody brilliant & after realising how much disposable cash DH & I fritter away especially around Christmas I aspire to be more frugal... Aibu to suggest the mc/umc appreciate the value of money more or is it just the ones we know...

Would it not be better if they spent more money on wholesome things like oranges and wholemeal bread or if they even, like the writer of the letter to the New Statesman, saved on fuel and ate their carrots raw? Yes, it would, but the point is that no ordinary human being is ever going to do such a thing. The ordinary human being would sooner starve than live on brown bread and raw carrots. And the peculiar evil is this, that the less money you have, the less inclined you feel to spend it on wholesome food. A millionaire may enjoy breakfasting off orange juice and Ryvita biscuits; an unemployed man doesn't. Here the tendency of which I spoke at the end of the last chapter comes into play. When you are unemployed, which is to say when you are underfed, harassed, bored, and miserable, you don't want to eat dull wholesome food. You want something a little bit 'tasty'. There is always some cheaply pleasant thing to tempt you.

That is the quote I was trying for.

@rubyglitter you don’t pay £500 for the phone. If you can pay £35 a month for an iPhone or £25 for an android often people just go for the iPhone. Whether or not you agree with that is your personal decision. But the £120 a year saved might not mean as much if it’s not going in an account towards prep school fees or a safari trip and just means another £120 to eek out in aldi trips over a year

@rubyglitter and if you’ve not got a tablet, computer or laptop at home to access the internet in a more accessible way that a cheap smartphone (I’ve had a few and they were a pain in the arse for accessing documents, accessing HMRC etc) then you might go for a better phone and fork out more monthly.

Not what I do, but there’s a lot of reasons behind what you might see as very simple

its reported the Queen, who is very middle class, if very frugal

These class threads r so clichéd and always generalise. The need to box people in to one way of behaviour is weird. And a pointless exercise! There is no hive mind to perceived class. People act however they want to.

@Neurodiversitydoctor that's a really interesting quote and shows that these debates and discussions are nothing new and yes I do feel slightly ashamed of some of my thinking process. It is easier for me not to buy takeaways etc because the money saved goes towards holidays, but if you haven't got the lure of a holiday or other long term goal to look forward to I can see why the short term indulgence always looks attractive when it's all you can have.

@Ninkanink

It’s much easier and more palatable to be frugal when it’s a choice. It’s also much easier and more palatable when you already have everything you need and an abundance more. Frugality in the little things feels really good when you can comfortably afford to pay for the big things.

Very, very true. Having choice is what separates being frugal and being poor.

frugal queen

@Ireolu

These class threads r so clichéd and always generalise. The need to box people in to one way of behaviour is weird. And a pointless exercise! There is no hive mind to perceived class. People act however they want to.

Generalisations are still often very much true - that’s why they exist. The whole point of a generalisation is that in many, if not most, cases it will be true. That doesn’t mean it’s the case in every single situation for every single individual.

@WeWashEverythingExceptLaundry

Great posts from CSJobseeker and others.

It also struck me that the poster who listed her spending priorities (insurance, horses, pensions) and non-priorities (everyday clothes, 'general groceries') - clearly intending to demonstrate her wisdom and forethought with money and her middle-class values - could be spending some of that money on fairly produced food and clothes, so is literally profiting at others' expense. If we want to make society more sustainable all round, it occurs to me that some of these extremely selfish MC 'priorities' are going to have to change.

I said those were my personal priorities and I was lucky enough to have the choice now. I did say I don't care how anyone else choses to spend their money it's none of my business. I try to buy local meat and 90% of DC clothing is second hand. That is sustainable IMO. Also I reserve the right to shop at Aldi, Wilco Tesco, Waitrose or wherever else I please like every other person!! Complete nonsense.....

George Orwell 80 years ago as true today as ever.

Brilliant. I must get round to reading Wigan Pier!

@Bluebluemoon I’ve got Orwell’s essays on my list to read this year.

[quote PegasusReturns]@BillyCongo

You didn’t afford to prioritise property and education by giving up spending on magazines and forgoing the occasional manicure. Don’t be so absurd [/quote]
Ermmm well actually that's exactly what we did..... 20 years ago we were flat broke. I was paying for now DH food as he couldn't afford to eat as an unpaid intern. We lived in a grotty box room saved every penny for 7 years. Bought a property, did it up, sold it, bought another whilst climbing the career ladder into high paid senior positions. No parent hand outs or inheritance in our case. We've been lucky and I appreciate it is a lot harder for the next generation. This is why I say I appreciate the choice I have in my spending is a luxury not a frugality.....but the post did ask what people do and I answered. Apparently some posters just don't like the answer.....

(And after that, those of his books which I’ve not yet read. Maybe I’ll make Wigan Pier the first one!)

@ivykaty44

its reported the Queen, who is very middle class, if very frugal

Yep. All the Royal Train, Royal Yacht, Palaces and horses all show that.

@Pinkandpink

I’m in Scotland and in my area Iv never heard anyone talking about class. I look at some of these comments and cringe.

Do you also never talk about race?

I do think that people seem to feel they need / or have them pushed as a need.. more treats thses days..I would never be able to afford expensive holidays but at the same time not aspiring to said holidays does not mean ok then i need treats. Its not all or nothing. It is true to me that expensive phones , daily coffee or lunches .. manicures can add up and if you choose to do that , you are not saving that money. It is onlt i latter years that things like a daily coffee etc was a need not an extravagance. You can to some extent choose for the small things to add up.. daily coffees , maincures cost a lot.
This money can be saved .. it adds up to nearly or about 1k a year!

Ninkanink

Ds13 has just finished Animal Farm and it's the first book he's actually enjoyed and talked about since reading the diary of a wimpy Kid series!

@Freelady I see daily takeaway coffees as a luxury. I think people do need some treat though when life is hard. But for many that is a chocolate bar.

@BillyCongo

Ermmm well actually that's exactly what we did

No you didn’t. By your most recent admission in your more recent post you saved every penny and lived in grotty accommodation.

That is what allowed you to get on the property ladder, not savings on magazines and manicures.

You must understand that some people will never pull together the money to buy a house or “prioritise education” no matter how they prioritise their spending.

Usually people who havant had a money want to show it wear their worth sometimes with designer bags etc.

But people who grew up rich may buy or like designer bags but I guess they don't think about needing to prove their worth in money terms?

@Newyearoldyou they don't suffer the stigma and discrimination of being poor.

@BillyCongo sure we bought a flat in London by living with family for 3 years. That got us 70k. I had to borrow the additional 330k from the bank, which isn't really possible if you are on a low income. The bank only loans up to 4.5 X or 5 X income, it is increasing to 7X (the horror!) but only for people earning above 70k. In the past i.e. 20 years ago, I have read that it was possible for two people on low incomes to buy a flat/house in London by being very frugal. I know of no one who has bought anything in London who are not professionals or have rich parents.

The prices of consumer goods have declined or stayed the same, wages have stagnated and the cost of housing is very high. People on low incomes can zip up their mouths and not eat, they still would not be able to buy anything without significantly increasing earnings. or getting a partner.

BillyCongo agree with you.
Treats can be too often . Adding up to 1k a year without noticing. No body needs those for eg coffees or manicures.. not actualy needs them( tho i do get the feeling of needing to treat yourself when hard up is strong for many reasons) .. but sometimes you just have to make those choices.
For eg people assumed we were well off when I took 5 years off ro be stat at home parent . Comments made like they wish they cd afford it..but how i afforded it was..
I had to give up my car. Cdnt afford tax, mot , fuel.
No holidays.
Picnics ,not cafes.
No decoration.
Qualified as childminder .. made small additional income. Bought second hand dble buggy and backpack child carrier for transport.
( had two one year old s one mine and one minded, plus a two year old .mine.. hence rhe combo).. I would never push mu decision on anyone , it was my choice. HOWEVER, I waa often told how much others who had new clothes, new carpets, an expensive car.. etc , meal s out rhat they cdnt afford it. Its sometimes about choice.. and being responsible for that choice.( I also worked many years in public seevice.. i understand the complxities that exist at times i really do.. but there are also excuses made at times .. sometimes.. for no can do.. choices too..)

I am really frugal in certain areas of life because either I want to spend in other areas or I just don’t have the money.

My children were raised having 2nd hand clothes, we drove around in cars that were below £1000
Holidays and eating out were done with vouchers. Insurances, gas and electricity and anything I could shop around for was bought at the cheapest price and through cash back websites

I saw a couple on a news article about the cost of living talking about how they had quite good incomes yet could barely afford to live.
Their income was £1600 per month more than I had coming in each month and at that time I had 1 child at private school. We had a holiday abroad each year (curtesy of Tesco vouchers and the person who stole my handbag and continued to use my Tesco clucbcard for about 3.5 years before realising that they weren’t getting any vouchers. Also at the time it was 4 time your club card voucher) and both children did a huge amount of ECAs

I must admit that people at my dc’s primary school were a bit sniffy and condescending about the car I drove and how I dressed. However when Dd started at private school the 2nd hand uniform sale for new parents was full and once Dd started it was a given that if children needed uniform in a bigger size then once per week they could go and get it from the Pre used uniform shop and if they took something similar in that they no longer needed they got a big discount. There wasn’t the sniffiness that I had encountered in state school.

I have come across people who were in a worse state financially than us and they won’t cut back in any areas to afford something else.
Earning money is good but how you spend it counts for a lot.