Aibu to be cross at nursery for banning birthday cake (not covid/allergy related)

[Crystalann]

Today we received this message from my son's nursery

^*We are promoting healthy eating within the nursery therefore unfortunately we are no longer able to accept birthday cakes being brought in for celebrations, we will still be celebrating with the children with banners, singing happy birthday and presenting them with a handmade birthday card from their class. 🥳

We are duty bound to follow the revised EYFS where changes place a great emphasis on promoting nutrition, healthy eating and oral health for all children under the age of 5 years.*^

To my knowledge, the EYFS makes no mention at all of any specific food.

Recently, when it was DS birthday and we sent cake in it had to be factory sealed still and shop bought (for hygiene) and they weren’t allowed to blow candles out (because of Covid) but staff would cut and share it with the children who were allergy safe to have it, with anyone not allowed being given an alternative snack.

This new “rule” is simply because they’ve decided to teach our kids birthday cake is bad for us, unhealthy and shouldn’t be allowed and this is what is making me cross!

I believe every food can be healthy, in an acceptable moderation, as part of a balanced diet.

crystalann but it is unhealthy? What are the health or nutritional benefits of supermarket birthday cake?

I agree with the nursery. I've been pretty pissed off to find out my child has been given juice/jam sandwich for a snack, and I certainly wouldn't want him eating cake thirty times a year.

@Cherryblossoms85

Kind of get what you mean, kind of don't. I think it's fine not to have birthday cake in nursery/school, but it annoys me that they're so strict on anything we might want to bring in, and then I find that they get given cake with their lunch every day anyway. and it's somehow fine because it's "carrot cake" (aka exactly as sugary and fatty as any other cake and covered in icing).

I'd be very surprised if a nursery / primary school was serving the exact same sugary, fatty covered in icing carrot cake you can buy in the shops. The dessert may say carrot cake but they're made with strict guidelines and don't resemble their shop bought versions. Especially when it comes to taste.

When my dd was in nursery they did the same but that was because her class size was around 25 and that meant on average there was cake every other week which parents started to complain about.

DS’s nursery instead put together a ‘cake’ stacked with just fruit so that celebrations could happen but without the inordinate amounts of sugar.

Most parents would agree that a little of anything in moderation is ok. However, most parents would like to be the ones who decide when their child has cakes. An average of once a month at nursery is too much, seeing as they may have other sweet treats at home too.

The nursery are correct in that the new EYFS has a renewed emphasis on healthy eating and oral health.

At my nursery there are about 45 children in one class, that would mean cake almost every week.

The children won't notice it's missing, they can have cake at home.

I wish they’d have this policy at my sons nursery. They had cake today amd he was wound up to fuck.

@Flyingsunflower

I think the schools are trying their best to encourage healthy nutrition so I can't blame them. Our used to allow sweets but all this stopped after covid so the kids are allowed to bring a book they or the teacher can read for storytime to the class on their birthday. I thought this was a brilliant idea. The class teachers still make the kids feel special (sing happy birthday, sticker and a pen or pencil with a tag saying their age and name). I allow mine to have 1 or 2 sweets after meal times because they eat it in moderation. No rotten teeth and healthy weight. Also I don't mind if friends give them treats.

@Flyingsunflower the book idea is great

Good for them!

At home, you probably only eat birthday cake once a year for each family member.

At nursery school, they may have several birthdays/cakes every week and who wants their kids to eat cake that often?

Obesity IS a major problem in very young children today, and it's going to wreck their future health. Cutting down on sugary food and empty calories is in their best interest.

You’ll explain it away I’m sure but I definitely think there’s more to it than this and they’re trying to be tactful.

It kind of pisses me off how the healthy eating stuff is applied, so at the moment sending a fussy kid into school with squash instead of water is an almost social services level incident, yet after each kid's birthday the teacher stands at the door waving all the kids off with a little bag of haribo. It should be applied unilaterally or not at all.

@Meatshake

It kind of pisses me off how the healthy eating stuff is applied, so at the moment sending a fussy kid into school with squash instead of water is an almost social services level incident, yet after each kid's birthday the teacher stands at the door waving all the kids off with a little bag of haribo. It should be applied unilaterally or not at all.

This is literally what they're trying to do ... currently parents send in treats for their kids birthday, the nursery is trying to put a stop to it.

@Meatshake

It kind of pisses me off how the healthy eating stuff is applied, so at the moment sending a fussy kid into school with squash instead of water is an almost social services level incident, yet after each kid's birthday the teacher stands at the door waving all the kids off with a little bag of haribo. It should be applied unilaterally or not at all.

Yes this annoys me at school too.

Any sort of biscuits/cakes/chocolate banned from lunchboxes. Fair enough.

What's 'pudding' for the hot lunches? Cakes, biscuits and brownies!

And no, they're not no salt, no sugar, made with beetroot ones. They're proper ones!

We abide by the lunchbox rules because I agree with them, but it does stick in the craw a little when I accidentally send my child with a Soreen mini loaf that I hadn't realised was a special edition chocolate and orange flavoured one rather than the usual plain malt fruit loaf (I just thought it was in a halloween packet, duh!) and got told off after school like a reprobate when the school are serving hot brownies for their puds!

As I said everyone at our school has so far ignored the 'no treats on birthdays' rule but the school won't give them out during the day now. The birthday child stands at the door giving them out as the children leave, so they're taken home to eat in theory.. but are actually scoffed in the playground before any of us reach the car anyway!!

@Tanith

It's on Page 12 of the Example menus for early years settings in England: Part 1: Guidance "Avoid sweet foods such as cakes, biscuits and confectionery between meals."

The DofE sent out further guidance at the end of last year, emphasising the message:
Food safety - Help for early years providers
Foods to avoid up to 5 years old include
"Sugar – both in sugary snacks and by not adding sugar to food.
Foods high in saturated fat such as biscuits, crisps and cakes."

Not much point being cross with the nursery: they're doing what they've been told they must do to reduce child obesity.
I expect they've decided that they've enough to do without trying to police the ingredients for sugar and fat content and allergens.

Thank you, this is helpful to read.

@2bazookas

Good for them!

At home, you probably only eat birthday cake once a year for each family member.

At nursery school, they may have several birthdays/cakes every week and who wants their kids to eat cake that often?

Obesity IS a major problem in very young children today, and it's going to wreck their future health. Cutting down on sugary food and empty calories is in their best interest.

We used to have cake at work for birthdays, staff and residents.

Why would they have several cakes a week? Primary schools are 30 to a class aren't they nursery would be small classes I'd have thought, some kids will have birthday in school holidays some won't bring cake. I doubt there would be cake every week let alone several times a week.

@Lowpotassium

Is this a private nursery OP? I must admit I am chuckling at parents not being able to afford a £5 cake on top of £1300 pcm fees. Got to love the earnest replies.

Yes it is! It’s £65 a day to attend here.

@ancientgran I really like the idea of a fake cake or as you’ve suggested, even better if they stop giving cake regularly but plan for their cake to be on birthdays dates for dessert. There’s 12 kids in his class, I know it would be impossible in larger classes but here that would surely be achievable.

@Cheeeeislifenow no I don’t take issue with those as these are not staples of a special occasion.

@winterchills exactly this - it would be great if everyone could book their kid’s birthday off of work but some of us will just have to send them in and it felt like a nice thing to do on their special day.

@forcedfun luckily there’s no one in his class who does have allergies but there will be in others and the expectation is to provide for all or none ie a free from option etc

@Crystalann you keep mentioning the class only has 12 and no allergies, but that is a very shortsighted view and it means very little in reality. That's what it is at the moment, it isn't set in stone, and now is a good moment to set the precedent, whilst no one is isolated as the person who 'made the rules change'.

@Crystalann I'm curious how you can know that with confidence given the nursery shouldn't be sharing children's medical information with you. And, more to the point, who takes responsibility for double checking ingredients. I hope not a parent who thinks"free from" is a label that means something is safe for children with allergies. It's a minefield and purely from a liability perspective I would think it hugely sensible for schools and nurseries to stop this trend of letting parents bring in food.

Cake is for family. Or a party.

Not nursery. You are being ridiculous!

I agree with this

@AdriannaP

I wouldn’t be impressed if my child had cake a few times a month at nursery just because it’s some kid’s birthday. If you want other kids to have cake, invite them to your house. Kids eat enough sugar as it is anyway.

Well they have cake every day at school for dessert, so what's the difference?

I agree with the nursery and they are following guidelines. As long as they are 100% consistent and do not give in to a pushy parent.

"Avoid sweet foods such as cakes, biscuits and confectionery between meals."

Can I just quote the 'between meals' part,
There's no harm in a child sized piece of cake given with their Nursery/school meal to celebrate their friends birthday. It's a normal thing to do. Don't demonise it.

I work in a nursery and we happily accept birthday cakes to celebrate a child's birthday. We only give them a small piece but they love it. PSED. X

[quote forcedfun]@Crystalann I'm curious how you can know that with confidence given the nursery shouldn't be sharing children's medical information with you. And, more to the point, who takes responsibility for double checking ingredients. I hope not a parent who thinks"free from" is a label that means something is safe for children with allergies. It's a minefield and purely from a liability perspective I would think it hugely sensible for schools and nurseries to stop this trend of letting parents bring in food.[/quote]
We don’t get told any personal details of who has what. But a generic “1x child is allergic to dairy” type information where relevant enabling us to buy the appropriate alternative which I assume is thoroughly checked by staff.

This is mumsnet cake is bad very bad as is all sugar for children they cannot be taught moderation and the parents can't handle the tamtrums of saying no to there kids

@Crystalann when i was at school in the 80's our school had a huge fake cake that got wheeled in on a trolley and all the birthday kids stood at the front and had happy birthday sang , no real candles though i don't think
But it was the 80's and we had cake everyday fpr school dinner and chocolate and crisps in lunchboxes etc