Aibu to be cross at nursery for banning birthday cake (not covid/allergy related)

[Crystalann]

Today we received this message from my son's nursery

^*We are promoting healthy eating within the nursery therefore unfortunately we are no longer able to accept birthday cakes being brought in for celebrations, we will still be celebrating with the children with banners, singing happy birthday and presenting them with a handmade birthday card from their class. 🥳

We are duty bound to follow the revised EYFS where changes place a great emphasis on promoting nutrition, healthy eating and oral health for all children under the age of 5 years.*^

To my knowledge, the EYFS makes no mention at all of any specific food.

Recently, when it was DS birthday and we sent cake in it had to be factory sealed still and shop bought (for hygiene) and they weren’t allowed to blow candles out (because of Covid) but staff would cut and share it with the children who were allergy safe to have it, with anyone not allowed being given an alternative snack.

This new “rule” is simply because they’ve decided to teach our kids birthday cake is bad for us, unhealthy and shouldn’t be allowed and this is what is making me cross!

I believe every food can be healthy, in an acceptable moderation, as part of a balanced diet.

Whilst I don’t have a massive issue with my child getting a small piece of cake occasionally in nursery, what I do find problematic sometimes is it being handed over at pick-up time and then all my three year old can think about is cake leading to tantrums and a refusal to eat dinner because cake cake cake.

At my DD's nursery they give fruit out.

If you want the kids to have a cake you organise a birthday party and invite the kids to that.

Btw My DD doesn't give a shit whether she gets cake or fruit she likes.

I'd be interested to see what pudding they offer. My son is only in twice a week and always has cake on at least one day.
They can't let them have that but say no to birthday cake.

Cake is unhealthy....I do think children need to be educated about what is nourishing to eat and what isn't. This policy really wouldn't bother. Just have a party and have the cake then.

Feel.sorry for today's kids. Bad enough the packed lunch police in school now the cake police in nursery? Poor kids 😂 (this is a tongue-in-cheek comment before anyone takes offence)

@Crystalann

Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough here - my issue is not that cake is now banned. It’s the message that it’s banned for being unhealthy. There are many more preferable reasons to ban cake.

The children won't know it's banned though, or why. They'll be entirely oblivious to it all.

My child’s nursery still allows cake. It’s wonderful. All the different ones that get taken in. Plus nursery do a video of the child holding the cake (with support if needed) while they all sing.
My DC was so proud when it was their turn and we have a few who paid for professional cakes that looked amazing.
I think it’s just another step closer to banning fun.

@Deisogn

Cake is unhealthy....I do think children need to be educated about what is nourishing to eat and what isn't. This policy really wouldn't bother. Just have a party and have the cake then.

Because we’re in a pandemic no parties are happening here. This would be better otherwise in other years. Some cake is unhealthy but so is butter for eg as it’s pure fat but they wouldn’t ban that they’d just teach it to be a part of a balanced diet.

Children do need to be taught about nutrition but that’s not what this is…

They do birthday cakes at our nursery if you bring in a sealed supermarket one for allergy reasons. Wouldn't be bothered if they stopped but also not bothered that they do. I'm sure DD enjoys it and I don't really care if she has cake after her lunch occasionally 🤷‍♀️ It's her birthday next month so I'll probably send in a Colin or something! Her nursery cohort is tiny anyway.

Our nursery and school are the same. We live in a deprived area and so the emphasis on healthy eating and oral health is massive. Nurseries constantly get it in the neck if they aren't serving perfect food. My kids have never missed it!

They’re tiny children. They don’t need cake and they won’t miss it if it’s not there.

Oh gosh, I've never realised taking birthday cake into school/nursery was so controversial!

When my two were little, I used to make tiny birthday cupcakes with rice paper toppers for them to take in and share with their classmates. Leftovers were eaten by the teachers and they were always well received. It's a tiny village school, though, so not like it's happening 30 times per year per class.

DD11 took sweets to share at the end of the day on her last birthday (allowed in spite of Covid).

@Rosebel

I'd be interested to see what pudding they offer. My son is only in twice a week and always has cake on at least one day. They can't let them have that but say no to birthday cake.

Exactly this! He has cake 🤦🏻‍♀️ and another day is cookies. The other three are generally healthier options - thus equalling a BALANCED diet.

I hate healthy/unhealthy descriptors how about teach them this contains etc etc and this is how much of it is best for you

@ProcrastinationIsMySuperPower

Oh gosh, I've never realised taking birthday cake into school/nursery was so controversial!

When my two were little, I used to make tiny birthday cupcakes with rice paper toppers for them to take in and share with their classmates. Leftovers were eaten by the teachers and they were always well received. It's a tiny village school, though, so not like it's happening 30 times per year per class.

DD11 took sweets to share at the end of the day on her last birthday (allowed in spite of Covid).

Ours is tiny too, 12 kids per class. The offending cake is always given at 10am snack as well when offered so any negligible sugar high is gone before home-time. The kids get the tiniest piece and rest is sent home or shared out by staff.

@Rosebel

I'd be interested to see what pudding they offer. My son is only in twice a week and always has cake on at least one day. They can't let them have that but say no to birthday cake.

Agree with @Rosebel

If the nursery serve sweet puddings, cakes and biscuits for lunch, it's hard to justify refusing to hand out cake

But if they really are promoting healthy diet, fair play to them, I suppose (although it does seem a bit joyless), but I think a better message is that cakes are ok in moderation, rather than outright ban

Agree with the nursery. Whilst I love chocolate and everything cake, I'd be pretty annoyed if my toddler had it at nursery several times a week / month due to birthdays and celebrations. Plus I absolutely do not believe very young children need any of that sugary stuff anyway so it's better kept out of nursery altogether. They have enough of it at home.

“ C) if you express you’d like to bring one on days where someone with an allergy attends you’re advised of their allergy needs to provide for them too - again all optional but it’s provide for all or none (which I support)”

As a parent of an anaphylactic allergic child I wouldn’t accept 30 random parents I’ve never talked to interpretation of allergy ingredients.

As a recovered anorexic who won’t list any food as bad, you’re being ridiculous. Cake 30 times a year for toddlers in a nursery setting is not setting them up with healthy eating habits.

@Rosebel

I'd be interested to see what pudding they offer. My son is only in twice a week and always has cake on at least one day. They can't let them have that but say no to birthday cake.

Nursery/school cake is not like shop-bought cake though.

It's designed to be "healthy" and is generally low fat, low salt, low sugar and low taste!

@notanothertakeaway

Yes that message would be far more preferable and now they’ve banned this I will certainly be questioning the next menu which I’m sure will have cake on it still 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Motherland101

Whilst I’m sure some do have enough at home I don’t give DS any because my attitude has been that cake is a special occasion thing. Plus they give them cake on at least one lunch desert a week on their provided meals.

Yabu. We don't give our toddler any cake/ biscuits at home, as she has dental issues caused by my illness during pregnancy. But she has developed a taste for sugary stuff from nursery and now asks for cake at home.

My child’s nursery still allows cake. It’s wonderful. All the different ones that get taken in. Plus nursery do a video of the child holding the cake (with support if needed) while they all sing.
My DC was so proud when it was their turn and we have a few who paid for professional cakes that looked amazing.
I think it’s just another step closer to banning fun.

or maybe considering the parents who don't have the money, the time, the energy or the desire to take part in competitive showing off ?

OP YABU.
Apart from anything else, the dc won't even know.
Birthday cake is for celebrating with family at home, or, when they get older, at a birthday party with friends. The Nursery neither need the mess nor hassle, plus they are under a lot of pressure to balance the diets of the children in their care.

Send your kid to a different nursery?

I agree with the nursery. Cake is sugar laden, bad for you and should be for v special occasions only at home

@LibrariesGiveUsPower

“ C) if you express you’d like to bring one on days where someone with an allergy attends you’re advised of their allergy needs to provide for them too - again all optional but it’s provide for all or none (which I support)”

As a parent of an anaphylactic allergic child I wouldn’t accept 30 random parents I’ve never talked to interpretation of allergy ingredients.

As a recovered anorexic who won’t list any food as bad, you’re being ridiculous. Cake 30 times a year for toddlers in a nursery setting is not setting them up with healthy eating habits.

As repeatedly stated he’s in a class of 12.

That’s your choice ofc - however the allergy option is again store bought and packaging must state it as safe so I can’t see how that would impact most allergy sufferers but I respect that’s individual and multiple allergies may not be as easily provided for as the free from range.

As a recovered anorexic a) you’re very lucky - most will not ever recover and remain in a sensitive state of permanent recovery but b) I’m surprised you’d support the concept of food being banned for their health value but each to their own 🤷‍♀️

YANBU this is why we have so many issues with food in this country because we see treats as ‘bad’.

If they eat healthily every day at nursery then a bit of cake as a treat is not going to do them any harm.

Unless there are hundreds of kids in the nursery then it will only be around twice a month - most elderly people I know eat supermarket cakes everyday.