Using a potty in a restaurant

[BonnieBo]

Went to a gastro pub over the Christmas break, quite a large open area where say 20 tables all in one room.

In the middle of this room, a couple having lunch had their toddler sitting on a potty, no trousers on. Clearly in early stages of potty training as the girl was sat their for ages (20+ mins), then the dad picked up the potty and carted it off to the toilets.

Is this not a bit much for a restaurant?

Someone local to me got upset when library staff asked her not to do this in the middle of the Children's Library. The consensus then seemed to be that it was perfectly acceptable, so I'm very relieved to find that MN disagrees as I thought it sounded rank!

You always get a parent who feels it fine to plonk a potty down anywhere, same with those who change babies nappies in inappropriate places

@BonnieBo

Ok - glad to know I am indeed entirely reasonable.

My friend I was with shrugged it off - and the staff seemed oblivious (hence why I was wondering if I was being particularly sensitive).

I should have told them myself, but felt awkward about ‘confronting’ a stranger in public as it’s not really my style in general…!

No. You should have told the manager.

That's disgusting and NOT how to do potty training.

Grim! When we were at this stage I always took the travel potty into a toilet cubicle with me and sat with her while she tried

Gross.

Why didn't the mum take the child to sit on the potty in the toilet?

Most children learn quickly that you don't go to potty in the middle of a busy room.

If somethings disgusting it's offensive, no?

No, I find Sushi disgusting but I've never been offended by it

This is a bit much for a restaurant. I wouldn't want strangers watching my child on the potty, you never know what peoples intentions are.
Also as a place solely for going out and eating in, it is unfair to others

@girlmom21

It's not something I'd do (obviously) but it's not something that would offend me either.

I certainly wouldn't be confronting the parents or loudly proclaiming my disgust as some have mentioned - that's not going to help the child learning to use the potty.

Why is someone going to the toilet (albeit a toddler) in the middle of a restaurant not something that offends you?

It's foul.

@gogohm

Inappropriate, as is outside (unless in bushes) in supermarket aisle (not kidding!) in kids play area with toilets right there ... I potty trained 2 including one with sen and never took a potty out even

I had a customer at the checkout ahead of me plonk a potty under the conveyer...

That's not ok. It maybe adorable sight for the parents, not to the strangers. Even at the toddler groups, people took the potty to the toilet to let the children use it, not in the public view.

That's disgusting! I think I would have had to have said something to the staff.

If the child isn't capable of being taken to the toilet when they need to go then they are obviously not ready to be toilet trained.

@Nanny0gg because I'd rather the child learn to use the potty than wet themselves in the middle of the restaurant, then have to be carried, upset and soaked through, to the toilet while their parents drip urine all over the floor and some poor teenager on minimum wage has to work out how best to clean it up.

Is that ok with you?

Is this the poo troll?

“Tell me your stories of children peeing in public”? That one?

Definitely not ok! I'm a bit old in the tooth now for all these 'modern parenting' fads, but surely even this 'letting it all hang out' style is too much, even for the most permissive of parents with their PFB?

I used to take a potty in the boot of the car when we went out, but (as at least one other pp has said) if they're ready for potty training they will be able to wait the couple of minutes it takes to get them to the toilet.

(Disclaimer - applying that generalisation to NT children; SEN issues obviously have different perameters.)

Having said that, friends with DC with SEN have never put themselve in the position described by the OP because they know it's not really helpful to anyone - least of all their child!

Although I'm also in the situation where one of our neighbours think nothing of putting a potty outside their front door for their youngest DC, just because they can... no issues, they just think it's a really good idea

I suspect a health inspector may have something to say about it.

Absolutely unacceptable, and un-hygienic. Personally, I am one of those people who would have called them out on it.

I once told a lady off for changing her babies nappy on a table in Cafe Nero. She was all "oh, but it's only a baby". Irony being she didn't want to take the baby into the baby-change because it was un-hygienic...... and why would that be dear?

Word of warning about sharing stories about potty training. Not saying this is a fetish troll, but it always pays to be careful.

I wouldn't have said anything to shame the child as it's not their fault. But I would have looked/said something audible to parents/for them to hear and to restaurant staff.

Gross.

@Gonnagetgoing

I wouldn't have said anything to shame the child as it's not their fault. But I would have looked/said something audible to parents/for them to hear and to restaurant staff.

If it's loud enough for the parents it's loud enough for the child.

@MerryChristmas21

As it was a tiny child I wouldn't be bothered, other than I'd feel sorry for her sitting on an uncomfortable potty for 20 minutes.

It's not something I'd do in a restaurant though.

Tiny child or 75 years old man, there's no difference, it's revolting and anti-social.

I've managed to toilet train 4 children and never taken apathy out with me. What's wrong with some people

Filthy pigs! I would have called the manager. People like that need to stay home. Utterly disgusting.

@BigWoollyJumpers

I suspect a health inspector may have something to say about it.

Absolutely unacceptable, and un-hygienic. Personally, I am one of those people who would have called them out on it.

I once told a lady off for changing her babies nappy on a table in Cafe Nero. She was all "oh, but it's only a baby". Irony being she didn't want to take the baby into the baby-change because it was un-hygienic...... and why would that be dear?

@BigWoollyJumpers - I've had friends with babies not want to use cafe toilets to change nappies - in one case I luckily had hand wipes which I handed over and said, wipe down the area with those then.

In another cafe toilet - it was a bit dirty but we spoke to cafe barista and they actually said it's due a clean any minute now, it was done within 5 minutes and my friend changed her baby fine.

And what happened to children being entitled to privacy

Had a meal in a well known pasta chain restaurant. Family at table next door changed their child's dirty nappy right by our table. Staff did nothing. Left and never went back!