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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Using a potty in a restaurant

165 replies

BonnieBo · 04/01/2022 14:31

Went to a gastro pub over the Christmas break, quite a large open area where say 20 tables all in one room.

In the middle of this room, a couple having lunch had their toddler sitting on a potty, no trousers on. Clearly in early stages of potty training as the girl was sat their for ages (20+ mins), then the dad picked up the potty and carted it off to the toilets.

Is this not a bit much for a restaurant?

OP posts:
AnxiousWeirdo · 04/01/2022 15:47

God no, I don't understand people that do this at all. I'm not squeamish at all but trying to eat whilst someone is pooing in my eyesight is a no go 🤢

Gonnagetgoing · 04/01/2022 15:47

[quote girlmom21]@Nanny0gg because I'd rather the child learn to use the potty than wet themselves in the middle of the restaurant, then have to be carried, upset and soaked through, to the toilet while their parents drip urine all over the floor and some poor teenager on minimum wage has to work out how best to clean it up.

Is that ok with you? [/quote]
@girlmom21 - surely your child should learn to tell you they need to use the potty rather than wet themselves?

DB used pull ups and porta potties when toilet training his son and had a change of clothing on hand in case of accidents and they never had to use the potty in a public place.

1forAll74 · 04/01/2022 15:49

Just awful,, I am surprised that some people didn't take any photo's of this potty performance, and post it on FB.

CaMePlaitPas · 04/01/2022 15:49

I'm sorry, this has really tickled me. Hell is other people!

girlmom21 · 04/01/2022 15:50

@Gonnagetgoing firstly, I've already said it's not something I'd do. I've successfully toilet trained a toddler. She's never used a potty in a restaurant.

Secondly, you've just said the child should tell the parents they need the potty - which is what they did.

Thirdly, some children, especially when first starting out with potty training, won't be able to hold it to get to the toilets.

Finally, pull ups are counter productive. You don't stick your child in a nappy to save you the inconvenience of having to take them to the toilet.

theDudesmummy · 04/01/2022 15:52

That is disgusting, and also invading the privacy of the chid and totally demeaning their dignity. Shocking and not only antisocial but bordering on abuse.

Sparklingbrook · 04/01/2022 15:53

That's really not on, I would have had a quiet word with the staff. It's possible if your child is willing to toilet train without even having a potty. I really didn't want to use one so took one of those little toilet seats out.

Anonymous48 · 04/01/2022 15:56

[quote girlmom21]@Gonnagetgoing firstly, I've already said it's not something I'd do. I've successfully toilet trained a toddler. She's never used a potty in a restaurant.

Secondly, you've just said the child should tell the parents they need the potty - which is what they did.

Thirdly, some children, especially when first starting out with potty training, won't be able to hold it to get to the toilets.

Finally, pull ups are counter productive. You don't stick your child in a nappy to save you the inconvenience of having to take them to the toilet. [/quote]
Thirdly, some children, especially when first starting out with potty training, won't be able to hold it to get to the toilets.

In that case they're not ready to be toilet trained.

georgarina · 04/01/2022 15:56

Lol what

At that stage you stay home
Only when they're a bit more used to do could you take them to a restaurant

girlmom21 · 04/01/2022 15:57

@Anonymous48 that's why they're being potty trained, not toilet trained, I'd assume...

I don't know why I'm being jumped on for simply saying it wouldn't offend me...

Sparklingbrook · 04/01/2022 15:57

I agree @Anonymous48 they need to be able to hold it until there's a toilet to begin with IMO.

Gonnagetgoing · 04/01/2022 15:57

[quote girlmom21]@Gonnagetgoing firstly, I've already said it's not something I'd do. I've successfully toilet trained a toddler. She's never used a potty in a restaurant.

Secondly, you've just said the child should tell the parents they need the potty - which is what they did.

Thirdly, some children, especially when first starting out with potty training, won't be able to hold it to get to the toilets.

Finally, pull ups are counter productive. You don't stick your child in a nappy to save you the inconvenience of having to take them to the toilet. [/quote]
@girlmom21 - I'm not going to answer your points one by one or go through parenting tips with you, as you seem to be quite the expert here. Hmm

But it seems from your views here (you seem quite snippy in general I've noticed here sometimes, even towards me) that you see no issue in doing this even though you haven't ever done this with your own toddler. Most of us don't approve of it being done in public. I'm quite within my rights to state this and the reasons why.

I still don't think it is right to whip out a potty to use in a restaurant even with a child telling their parents it's ok. The only reason/scenario I could ever see it was ok would be if the toilets were broken/out of order or the child was very ill. Even then, to plonk your child on a potty is disrespectful to other diners and also to your own child by letting other people see them (modesty and also paedophiles etc).

Most children, even with SEN will be able to hold it to get to the toilets, or can be trained to, unless they have a bladder issue/infection.

GrendelsGrandma · 04/01/2022 15:57

I wouldn't do this, but it wouldn't really upset me much either. I think the pandemic has made people have blurred lines on what's appropriate in public.

Some kids potty train differently, if you had a kid who had it sorted in a couple of days then that's great. Some kids take months and months, make progress and then regress.Or they might have problems with constipation, UTIs etc. It's not as simple as saying they shouldn't be out without nappies.

DS has been potty training for a few months. We've been in pubs a couple of times. When you have to get your mask on, get a bag with the potty and change of clothes/wipes etc, carry a child through the pub, find toilets etc - fairly high chance they will have pissed on the floor anyway. Is it better to use a potty in a pub or piss all over the floor? I'm not 100% sure! They might be very reliable in using a potty at home but get excited and distracted when out and about.

The 'just stay home' advice could be very limiting for a very long time. We were all young once.

Gonnagetgoing · 04/01/2022 15:59

[quote girlmom21]@Anonymous48 that's why they're being potty trained, not toilet trained, I'd assume...

I don't know why I'm being jumped on for simply saying it wouldn't offend me... [/quote]
@girlmom21 - it would offend most adults generally, unless you've been taught how to do this.

Do you really want to smell another person's shit/urine even from a short distance away whilst trying to eat/drink? Say you were taking out your mother for lunch for her birthday? Would you want an occasion to be spoiled by this behaviour?

girlmom21 · 04/01/2022 16:00

@Gonnagetgoing you don't need to respond to my points because I don't need your advice or opinion, particularly when your opinions are based on how your brother parents. I gave my opinion and you jumped on it, not the other way around.

I agree with everything you've said. The child shouldn't be encouraged to use the potty in the restaurant, they should be taken to the toilet.

I simply said this wouldn't offend me personally - and people have chosen to be offended by the fact I wouldn't be offended. It's very strange.

girlmom21 · 04/01/2022 16:01

Do you really want to smell another person's shit/urine even from a short distance away whilst trying to eat/drink?

I don't think anyones suggested it's something they'd enjoy seeing. Are you ok?

MintyGreenDream · 04/01/2022 16:06

That's scruffy and I would have complained

Bunnycat101 · 04/01/2022 16:06

It’s grim. I’ve only recently trained my second (so I haven’t forgotten what it is like) but the parents must have no shame and/or be utterly selfish.

If the child was sat on it for 20 minutes they clearly weren’t desperate. They should have taken them and the potty to the loos or gone out in a pull-up if they weren’t ready. There is a lot of rubbish on here about not confusing them. Most toddlers can understand if they need to wear a pull-up just in case in the early days. Mine still has to wear a swim nappy for swimming and it hasn’t confused her in the slightest. Ditto if you needed to put one on for a long car journey etc. sometimes you have to be pragmatic while they’re learning and be mindful of others.

Steelesauce · 04/01/2022 16:09

@GrendelsGrandma

I wouldn't do this, but it wouldn't really upset me much either. I think the pandemic has made people have blurred lines on what's appropriate in public.

Some kids potty train differently, if you had a kid who had it sorted in a couple of days then that's great. Some kids take months and months, make progress and then regress.Or they might have problems with constipation, UTIs etc. It's not as simple as saying they shouldn't be out without nappies.

DS has been potty training for a few months. We've been in pubs a couple of times. When you have to get your mask on, get a bag with the potty and change of clothes/wipes etc, carry a child through the pub, find toilets etc - fairly high chance they will have pissed on the floor anyway. Is it better to use a potty in a pub or piss all over the floor? I'm not 100% sure! They might be very reliable in using a potty at home but get excited and distracted when out and about.

The 'just stay home' advice could be very limiting for a very long time. We were all young once.

If your child is taking months to potty train, then they are not ready to be trained.

I've trained 3 kids of my own, longest took a week but she wasn't even 2 and was pretty determined to do it otherwise I'd of given up after 3 days.

squashyhat · 04/01/2022 16:14

In case you are wondering who could possibly think this is a good idea I hit YABU by mistake Blush

Viviennemary · 04/01/2022 16:14

Vile.

Suzanne999 · 04/01/2022 16:16

Gross. Totally inappropriate in a public place where people are eating.

Sportsnight · 04/01/2022 16:20

Potty training takes about a week. We just stayed home for it. It’s not that long in the grand scheme. I really don’t understand people saying it could be months and months.

DeepDown12 · 04/01/2022 16:20

We're potty training our DD at the moment and we'd never in a million years do anything like this. It is absolutely disgusting.

Migrainesbythedozen · 04/01/2022 16:22

Yes that is quite grim.

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