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AIBU?

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Original poster

Using a potty in a restaurant

165 replies

BonnieBo · 04/01/2022 14:31

Went to a gastro pub over the Christmas break, quite a large open area where say 20 tables all in one room.

In the middle of this room, a couple having lunch had their toddler sitting on a potty, no trousers on. Clearly in early stages of potty training as the girl was sat their for ages (20+ mins), then the dad picked up the potty and carted it off to the toilets.

Is this not a bit much for a restaurant?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 04/01/2022 16:25

[quote girlmom21]@Nanny0gg because I'd rather the child learn to use the potty than wet themselves in the middle of the restaurant, then have to be carried, upset and soaked through, to the toilet while their parents drip urine all over the floor and some poor teenager on minimum wage has to work out how best to clean it up.

Is that ok with you? [/quote]
No. Not really.

And what if it's not just wee?

And if I was the manager, the parents would be handed the cloth and the disinfectant.

Joystir59 · 04/01/2022 16:27

That's disgusting and I would have complained if I'd been dining there at the same time.

Nanny0gg · 04/01/2022 16:30

@GrendelsGrandma

I wouldn't do this, but it wouldn't really upset me much either. I think the pandemic has made people have blurred lines on what's appropriate in public.

Some kids potty train differently, if you had a kid who had it sorted in a couple of days then that's great. Some kids take months and months, make progress and then regress.Or they might have problems with constipation, UTIs etc. It's not as simple as saying they shouldn't be out without nappies.

DS has been potty training for a few months. We've been in pubs a couple of times. When you have to get your mask on, get a bag with the potty and change of clothes/wipes etc, carry a child through the pub, find toilets etc - fairly high chance they will have pissed on the floor anyway. Is it better to use a potty in a pub or piss all over the floor? I'm not 100% sure! They might be very reliable in using a potty at home but get excited and distracted when out and about.

The 'just stay home' advice could be very limiting for a very long time. We were all young once.

We were all young once.

But I never took my children out to restaurants or shops until they were reliable.

If it takes months, they're not ready.

Starcaller · 04/01/2022 16:36

Yeah, I think it's gross and also pretty inappropriate/not respectful of your child's dignity to have them sitting naked in full view in public for 20 mins. It took us a couple of weeks before I felt confident enough to take DD anywhere further afield than locally for a short time after potty training, and I certainly wouldn't have taken her to a restaurant while in the thick of potty training. For her own good as much as anyone else. Some people are just unwilling to actually take any time or effort or sacrifice their own enjoyment in any way to teach their children things though.

grapewine · 04/01/2022 16:37

That's gross. I would have left and told staff why. There has to be some boundaries in public.

Rekorderlig88 · 04/01/2022 16:37

We took my elderly parent scouts for lunch. All fine until the table next to us arrived.
6 of them one a toddler in a buggy who looked awful and was clutching a bowl which turned out to be a sick bowl.
Listening in it was a sick bug.
They ordered their food and intermittently offered him some.
He threw up half in the bowl half down himself.
I have emmetophobia and had to leave.
Said to restaurant manager who seemed disinterested.
Poor boy being dragged for a meal whilst ill.

ItsFuckingJuneDadQuickHide · 04/01/2022 16:40

It's scanky behaviour by the parents. If they are too lazy to leave their meal to take the poor child to the toilet and their child hears people's disgust then that's on them
No sympathy from me

Chloemol · 04/01/2022 16:42

Yuk I would have said something to the staff

thickthighs73 · 04/01/2022 16:42

WHAT! Sorry my big mouth would have run. Yuck, when my son was small he just had to balance on the ‘big’ toilet when we was out , like every other parent did.

GrandRapids · 04/01/2022 16:42

Ugh, so many of these dirty twats around, with no regard for anyone or anything.

thickthighs73 · 04/01/2022 16:43

@Rekorderlig88

We took my elderly parent scouts for lunch. All fine until the table next to us arrived. 6 of them one a toddler in a buggy who looked awful and was clutching a bowl which turned out to be a sick bowl. Listening in it was a sick bug. They ordered their food and intermittently offered him some. He threw up half in the bowl half down himself. I have emmetophobia and had to leave. Said to restaurant manager who seemed disinterested. Poor boy being dragged for a meal whilst ill.
Leave a shit review on Trip Advisor that’s grim
Sparklingbrook · 04/01/2022 16:44

@thickthighs73

WHAT! Sorry my big mouth would have run. Yuck, when my son was small he just had to balance on the ‘big’ toilet when we was out , like every other parent did.
Exactly, I don't think there's any need to take the potty out of the car when going to a restaurant. Use the toilet.
countrygirl99 · 04/01/2022 16:46

girlmom21 my 94yo dad has very poor mobility and often can't make it to the loo on time. Would you be OK with him sitting on a commode in the middle of a restaurant? Because hygiene wise there is no difference between toddler wee/shit and old man wee/shit.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 04/01/2022 16:48

the staff seemed oblivious

Sounds to me like a timely warning not to go again ... if staff are happy to ignore something like this, what's being done in the kitchen that they'll also won't bother about?

furbabymama87 · 04/01/2022 16:51

Next time complain to the staff. It's unhygienic, antisocial and inappropriate. The potty should have been taken to the toilet cubicle.

Ontheflipside · 04/01/2022 16:54

Oops I voted wrong! I agree this is totally grim

CharityDingle · 04/01/2022 16:54

@squashyhat

In case you are wondering who could possibly think this is a good idea I hit YABU by mistake Blush
@squashyhat if you click on YANBU, that will change your vote.
CharityDingle · 04/01/2022 16:55

@BareTrees2021

Had a meal in a well known pasta chain restaurant. Family at table next door changed their child's dirty nappy right by our table. Staff did nothing. Left and never went back!
I would have put in a complaint to the relevant health authority, in that situation.
GrendelsGrandma · 04/01/2022 16:56

Like I said, kids train differently. Well done on having champion potty kids. DS did the same as yours, but after few months he's regressed a bit and wets himself fairly regularly. The pandemic doesn't help, we seldom go to cafes etc so they're very new environments and he gets distracted.

I'm not putting him back in nappies. He's ready, just being a bit lazy.

Iamkmackered1979 · 04/01/2022 16:58

It wouldn’t have bothered me had I been there however it’s not the place at all. I’ve trained 4 we managed to get to the toilet with potty or just sitting on training seat but I avoided going far early on.

Common sense really, clearly parents have no idea not everyone wants to see their child doing a poo whilst Eating their dinner

Anonymous48 · 04/01/2022 16:58

[quote girlmom21]@Anonymous48 that's why they're being potty trained, not toilet trained, I'd assume...

I don't know why I'm being jumped on for simply saying it wouldn't offend me... [/quote]
Is there a difference between being potty trained and being toilet trained? I thought it was the same thing.

Bunnycat101 · 04/01/2022 17:18

GrendelsGrandma My first was prone to accidents and certainly wasn’t a champion potty trainer. In the pub situation we’d have taken her as soon as we arrived and probably 45 mins to an hour later. There is no way we’d have whipped out a potty in the middle of the floor. If you’ve taken them when you arrive somewhere, any accidents are likely to be small and absorbed by clothes.

There is just no excuse for the family’s actions in the OP.

Sparklingbrook · 04/01/2022 17:26

Going back to the OP it seems the child was sat on the potty for twenty minutes. This wasn't a child desperate for the toilet so the potty had to be whipped out to prevent an accident.
Some think you should plonk a child on the potty after a meal though on the offchance something comes out. Confused

StoneofDestiny · 04/01/2022 17:44

That is utterly gross behaviour. I'd definitely have complained. I guess the majority on this MNet have toilet trained their children and the majority never put their half naked child on a potty in a restaurant where people were dining.
It's ridiculous to think this is acceptable behaviour.
If your child is not toilet trained then use nappy pants on such occasions or take them to the toilet regularly 'just in case'.
This is another case of uncivilised behaviour, entitled parenting and a "I have a child and they come before everybody else - so if my child wants to pee, shit, scream, run about while you are eating nearby, stuff you"

Somethingsnappy · 04/01/2022 17:57

[quote girlmom21]@Gonnagetgoing you don't need to respond to my points because I don't need your advice or opinion, particularly when your opinions are based on how your brother parents. I gave my opinion and you jumped on it, not the other way around.

I agree with everything you've said. The child shouldn't be encouraged to use the potty in the restaurant, they should be taken to the toilet.

I simply said this wouldn't offend me personally - and people have chosen to be offended by the fact I wouldn't be offended. It's very strange. [/quote]
I noticed this too! People are getting cross with you for being the odd one out! Grin For what it's worth, I don't approve of this, but wouldn't find it too offensive either. I'm assuming it was for a wee and not a poo. I hope so anyway!

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