... to think that all adult women have experienced male harassment?

[ravenmum]

Is it unreasonable of me to assume that by the age of 18, all women will have had personal experience of a man or men harassing them with unwelcome behaviour as defined by the UN:

"Sexual harassment includes many things...
• Actual or attempted rape or sexual assault.
• Unwanted pressure for sexual favors.
• Unwanted deliberate touching, leaning over, cornering, or pinching.
• Unwanted sexual looks or gestures.
• Unwanted letters, telephone calls, or materials of a sexual nature.
• Unwanted pressure for dates.
• Unwanted sexual teasing, jokes, remarks, or questions.
• Referring to an adult as a girl, hunk, doll, babe, or honey.
• Whistling at someone.
• Cat calls.
• Sexual comments.
• Turning work discussions to sexual topics.
• Sexual innuendos or stories.
• Asking about sexual fantasies, preferences, or history.
• Personal questions about social or sexual life.
• Sexual comments about a person's clothing, anatomy, or looks.
• Kissing sounds, howling, and smacking lips.
• Telling lies or spreading rumors about a person's personal sex life.
• Unwanted pressure for dates.
• Unwanted sexual teasing, jokes, remarks, or questions.
• Referring to an adult as a girl, hunk, doll, babe, or honey.
• Whistling at someone.
• Cat calls.
• Sexual comments.
• Turning work discussions to sexual topics.
• Sexual innuendos or stories.
• Asking about sexual fantasies, preferences, or history.
• Personal questions about social or sexual life.
• Sexual comments about a person's clothing, anatomy, or looks.
• Kissing sounds, howling, and smacking lips.
• Telling lies or spreading rumors about a person's personal sex life.
• Neck massage.
• Touching an employee's clothing, hair, or body.
• Giving personal gifts.
• Hanging around a person.
• Hugging, kissing, patting, or stroking.
• Touching or rubbing oneself sexually around another person.
• Standing close or brushing up against a person.
• Looking a person up and down.
• Staring at someone.
• Sexually suggestive signals.
• Facial expressions, winking, throwing kisses, or licking lips.
• Making sexual gestures with hands or through body movements."
www.un.org/womenwatch/osagi/pdf/whatissh.pdf

YABU: I am a woman aged 18 or over and have never personally experienced any unwelcome behaviour of this kind.

YANBU: I am a woman aged 18 or over and have personally experienced unwelcome behaviour of this kind.

No offense at all. I completely agree.
It can take a lot of unprogramming that your worth and value is in a mans gaze.

Sorry that was in response to @lesenfantsdelesperance

@oopsyoudiditagain

Also I’d like to ask if so many women have so many experiences like this with men, why do they want to date them? How can you ever know/trust they are not part of the problem.

Because I'm heterosexual and not at all attracted to women.

saying that tho I am just a lonely old bag, wouldnt even know were to begin with dating I have dated 1 man in my life, I ignored a lot of red flags because I loved him and he was charming to start with, ended up trapped by the rapey bastard for 14 years.

I have crushes on famous men, thats all, I'd love to meet a nice one to fall in love with, I'm not that jaded to think there isnt any, just that they are rare/already taken.

Also my DH has never been like this, not in nearly 30 years of marriage.

I know for a fact that when my DD was at college a male tutor was very touchy feely - unfortunately we found out after he had left.

YANBU - between the ages of 18 and 30 I'd say I experienced most of these with, mercifully, the exception of serious sexual assault and rape.

All the items on the list plus I used to get flashed almost daily during the years I lived in London.

Also had a stalker (who was a complete stranger). After months of him harassing me, two of my brave female colleagues filmed him following me in his car and as a result he tried to run all three of us over.

I think the genetic lottery means that some women are more obviously female from a distance. I suspect that unfortunately this leads to more unpleasant attention for those women through no fault of their own.

I have definitely experienced these. However, for those posters who don't think they have, when DH briefly worked under me on a project where many people didn't realise we were married, he was shocked to finally realise just how much sexism etc. went on.

He had never noticed it before because it hadn't been directed at his wife. What is more he saw it happening to me over and over again and he could see that I didn't notice it occurring. I thought I was pretty sharp on this too. It was eye opening for both of us.

@MargotMoon

YANBU

I will be amazed if there is a woman alive who has not experienced at least one of these

Agreed, I've experienced them all!

Street harassment and cat calling is anti-social behaviour, and anti-social behaviour happens more in cities. When women claim they've never been harassed, I always imagine they grew up in some pretty village somewhere. I'd be very suspicious if anyone in London, Birmingham or Manchester etc claimed they'd never been harassed.

The things is, I've experienced some of those behaviours, but I can't say as I've ever felt threatened or harassed but those I've experienced.

I worked with a guy a year younger than me once who was a sod for what could easily have been perceived as inappropriate banter, both with me and the colleague I shared an office with who was a woman 20 years my senior.

However, he knew we both took it as a joke and would tell him to fuck off if he overstepped...and I never saw or heard of him acting that way with female colleagues that would have felt differently.

There's been plenty of times I've been cat called or pestered in pubs and clubs (many years ago) and I've luckily never felt unable to handle it.

I guess what I'm saying is the interpretation of those behaviours may be quite different from person to person.

I know more and would tolerate a lot less now I'm in my 40s and have a teenage daughter than I would have done when I was a teen myself.