Noisy DP after DD goes to bed

[Fluth]

I live with my DP and DD (not his) She is 9 so old enough, however, she has always been such a bad sleeper, scared at bedtime etc

I fully get maybe I may be BU about this but wanted to check.

We've only been living with my DP 18 months. I ask him to try and be quiet after she goes down but he says she needs to just get used to it (maybe she does) but i have 7 years of treading on eggshells as to not make bedtime bad therefore putting a massive strain on me when the evening is my only down time (single parent before DP)

For example, he unloads the dishwasher after she goes to sleep, and honestly slams the plates and cutlery. I get that its good he is doing that (well, i feel only fair as i cook) but whyyyy now. He has a good hour or 2 after dinner and pre dd's bedtime.

That is just one example, its tv on loud or generally talking loud near her room etc and it internally tortures me as i am filled with dread that she will use that to get up and prolong bedtime.

AIBU?

Or he could be just like loads of other people on here think you shouldn't tip toe round a 9 year old. OP has made a rod for her own back the kids 9 I'm with him

So you'd be ok with someone talking outside your room and waking you up when you're asleep?

She has a child who's a light sleeper, she hasn't 'made a rod for her own back', she's just tried to keep noise to a minimum to promote a decent night sleep for her DD. If you haven't dealt with a child who's a light sleeper you have no clue what it's like.

My DD1 slept so lightly even a creaky floorboard woke her up. She's still like that at 22. My DS on the other hand could sleep through a tornado.

It's like all kids are different..

CloseYourEyesAndSee. Newsflash. Not everyone reacts the same as you.

KurtWilde or perhaps everyone else in the family should not have pandered to your daughter and tip toed around in silence and she might gave learnt to sleep through it.

@Zwellers

KurtWilde or perhaps everyone else in the family should not have pandered to your daughter and tip toed around in silence and she might gave learnt to sleep through it.

You absolutely have no idea 😂

I think people should be quiet when anyone is sleeping to be honest. I think tiptoeing around is too much but also slamming cutlery around, tv on loud and talking right outside the bedroom door is too far the other way.

I understand because I used to have sleeping problems, and also I have my own baby . I know people who can ignore all the sleep hygiene advice and still sleep properly and that’s great for them, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t “get it” when you try to explain how important it is (also lots of people don’t seem to understand that others have a different experience to their own…)

Maybe you should insist on a compromise. No tiptoeing around but no talking right outside the door etc.

While I totally agree that no one should be tip toeing around their home once child is asleep, especially if said child is 9, I feel the ship has sailed and it's going to be a lot harder to now learn when's she's been used to complete silence for 9 years. YANB completely U about the dishwasher though the clattering would annoy me and is he not breaking things if doing it that loud?

@Zwellers

KurtWilde or perhaps everyone else in the family should not have pandered to your daughter and tip toed around in silence and she might gave learnt to sleep through it.

Ridiculous pointless comment from someone who sleeps well. And I say this as a person who is a heavy sleeper as is my dc. Not everyone is the same