To the people who believe men and women can never be friends, do you then believe that people who are bisexual shouldn’t have any friends at all?

[AlternativePerspective]

Genuine question.

Time and time again on here we see posts from posters saying “men and women cannot be just friends, one or the other will always have feelings, they’ll end up having an affair, I wouldn’t allow my husband to have female friends,” etc etc.

So, based on that assumption, surely it then stands to reason that someone is bisexual should never have any friends, since they are attracted to both men and women?

Obviously men and women can be just friends. But if you believe they can’t, then surely you believe as above. And if not, why not?

Vote:

YABU: bisexual people shouldn’t have friends.

Yanbu: Both men and women can have friends of the opposite sex, just as people who are bisexual can be friends with either men or women without needing to sleep with them.

I wonder if it’s some straight men who are the problem in this scenario. Rather than all men and women (bi or straight) not being able to have platonic friendships.

Toxic masculinity for some straight men etc..

I think some of the paranoia about male/female friendships on Mn must come from some of the deeply odd ideas about the nature of friendship in general expressed on here

I do find the restrictions/boundaries of friendships fascinating tbh.

I've spent 20 years of my employed life merely having to engage in pretty superficial relationships with people. I'm.sure anyone who's worked in a pub for instance knows that before they became buildings full of loud music and fancy drink offers , that your good old fashioned pub with regular customers, well u somehow became relationships advisors, shrinks, general life advisers etc ( look mate I work in a pub and I've never dated anyone more than 6 months Im clearly not the person to ask) my jobs since have been similar in that sense. I found myself Desperately missing the deep and meaningful trusting friendships I had back in my school/college days.

When I had kids etc I tried to build relationships based on commonalities with other mums but never really quite got there. Despite not really seeing why it would make a difference whether my friends were men or women I seemed to mostly befriend men. Not even intentionally I just kinda fell into it.

Years later I realise that many of them just seemed to want to put me in the position of knowing things about them that they should probably be talking to their wives about. Although there were/are a couple of friendships I still maintain , and certainly not at a level their significant others need to be worried about.

Ultimately however despite being that person for others I don't really have that tell eachother everything relationship with anyone now ( regardless of the sexuality of that person as that's something that's never really been a factor or problem.as why would it be?! ) not through choice but more through respect for the other person given that according to MN rules I've basically had an emotional affair with every man and woman I've ever been friends with)

As much as I understand life changes and priorities change and that can naturally just cause people to grow apart, it can be a bit annoying that people pull back/fully invest depending on whether or not they are single.

It can make you feel guilty for something you never did if that makes sense.

I guess what I'm saying is don't leave it to guess work. If u have told me the most personal things about yourself then u can tell me the truth about why you don't speak to me so much any more.

Ironically when speaking to or out with friends said friend got more "check ins" when it was a straight male than when it was a lesbian friend.

My ex was was also less " off" with me goimg out with women even if I stayed over ams even if they were gay. Than an evening out with a straight man even if they began seeing people ( who weren't me)

Yes. They should put the "bi" in "Billy No Mates."

Its not about the sex of the friend, is about whether they are potentially attractive to the other party or not. Most of the situations where this arises involve a partner whose 'best friend' is an attractive member of a gender they would be sexually interested in. People have no difficulty in believing friendship exist where the friend in question is unattractive; and people in same sex relationships can get just as concerned about same sex friendships involving an attractive friend.

I'm always accused of being a "cool wife" on here. DH has a really close female friend, they went through training school together. He even shock horror went to visit her and stayed at her house! Apparently this means I should believe he was shagging her senseless and not just believing that my husband loves me and is loyal to me

FWIW, all but one of my friends are men. Mainly because I met them through my sport and that sport is male dominated. But then, I dont look at them as a walking penis, I look at them like a human being.

I’m bi.

The main barrier I have found to men and women being friends is very different socialisation around sexual conduct. It’s not directly about attraction, it’s about what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour.