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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did your DC's school do if you couldn't get your DC to school as you are too unwell?

423 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 02:32

Just posting here for traffic.

If you are a single parent and have been in a situation that you were still ill to get your DC to school what did school do? I will probably be in this situation next week. This happened once prior to Covid and some of the pastoral care teachers came and picked my DD up. It happened once recently and they suggested she stay at home and do online learning. That was fine as I had twisted my ankle and couldn't put any weight on it but I could help with online learning. However this time I have Covid and will not be able to do online learning with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:14

Just to be clear I am not asking if anyone has any idea how I could get my DD to school. Clearly, if I had someone else to ask I would have already asked them. I am not asking if school can or should pick DC up. They do. I am asking if they still do post Covid or if there are other options. Thanks.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:17

@Emerald5hamrock

After the 10 days you will most likely feel better. There's nothing you can do until then unless family or friends can help.
That will be Wednesday. So hopefully after that school can help. But I see what you mean they probably will say stay at home on Tuesday.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:19

@DeepaBeesKit

Where I live you would be expected to find someone else to get your child to school - school would help you find another parent willing to help via class reps/pta etc. I've walked various neighbours kids to school with mine when they've been isolating etc.
That sounds a good system. This was the kind of thing I was asking about, thank you. I will see if school can help with this.
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SpellBounds · 01/01/2022 17:20

Well this is all so bizarre.

You have multiple children but no dads or any other family, friends, acquaintances or neighbours etc etc at all?? You're bed bound and your children (hopefully some are older than age 9) are running the house,sorting themselves out and looking after you.

You had covid before for 15 months and yet still no help? From anyone?

You seriously 100% sound like someone who should have involvement from social services. The poor kids.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:22

@JustUseTheDoorSanta

If you're well enough for mumsnet posts then you're well enough to do some basic care of your child, including reading and setting a writing exercise. A neighbour with a child at the same school would be the best option to help, so any of your neighbours use the school?
I think I know what I can do. The work is set by school. The amount of support my DD needs I can't provide. And obviously if I had a neighbour to ask, I would - I haven't.
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SpellBounds · 01/01/2022 17:23

I feel so bad for schools, I don't understand why so much falls on them 😕 I wouldn't dream of asking the school to sort this conundrum out for me. Its nothing to do with them really, either she stays home or you arrange someone to get her school at their own risk without involving the school ideally as if she then tests positive that person whose been in close proximity in a car etc with her will have to get tested etc etc what a load of hassle.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:25

@CurtainTroubles

I’m really surprised that any school would send a teacher to pick up a child. I’m sure my school wouldn’t offer this. If I were you I would just ask another parent if they could help. I have done the same for a couple of others at our primary school.
Obviously, I would if I could. Again, those who have these options take them for granted. You'd probably be surprised at all sorts other DC go through and the support provided by the pastoral support team. Clearly, it is non-teaching staff that pick the DC up.
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OnceuponaRainbow18 · 01/01/2022 17:25

@Drunkpanda

All kids get pastoral support

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:30

@Drunkpanda

Your circumstances are clearly different to average with your dc being under pastoral support (I don't know the term myself) so why leave that out of the OP? If they helped you before they might again. But, likely to be more short staffed now. Lots of children across the country go to school in vetted taxis. Maybe the school could pay for one. But fingers crossed you won't be ill for 3 months, a 9 year old can't be left to their own devices for that long. (Maybe older dc there too, didn't notice any ages).
You don't know the term 'pastoral support'?? It refers to non-academic support and is standardly given to all DC but obviously some need more. I made it quite clear in my OP it had happened in the past. I also made it clear I was asking if DC could still be picked up since Covid or if there were other options as I would struggle to do the work at home. But thank you for the ideas and yes, I am so hoping this horrible illness doesn't last this long this time and I don't get Long Covid again, thank you.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:33

@SpellBounds

I feel so bad for schools, I don't understand why so much falls on them 😕 I wouldn't dream of asking the school to sort this conundrum out for me. Its nothing to do with them really, either she stays home or you arrange someone to get her school at their own risk without involving the school ideally as if she then tests positive that person whose been in close proximity in a car etc with her will have to get tested etc etc what a load of hassle.
Oh for goodness sake! She has already had Covid. Presumably at one point DC can go back. If it is nothing to do with them why exactly do they have members of staff whose job it is to pick DC up? As I made clear in my OP. They already do it!
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:37

@SpellBounds

Well this is all so bizarre.

You have multiple children but no dads or any other family, friends, acquaintances or neighbours etc etc at all?? You're bed bound and your children (hopefully some are older than age 9) are running the house,sorting themselves out and looking after you.

You had covid before for 15 months and yet still no help? From anyone?

You seriously 100% sound like someone who should have involvement from social services. The poor kids.

I do have help from Social Services - is that meant to be an insult? Yes, poor kids. Not everyone is as lucky as you obviously are. There are so many DC that are young carers - surely you have heard of it? You don't suddenly get family etc who can help just because you have had Long Covid. You live in a different world to me where that happens!
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LadyMonicaBaddingham · 01/01/2022 17:39

@SpellBounds

Well this is all so bizarre.

You have multiple children but no dads or any other family, friends, acquaintances or neighbours etc etc at all?? You're bed bound and your children (hopefully some are older than age 9) are running the house,sorting themselves out and looking after you.

You had covid before for 15 months and yet still no help? From anyone?

You seriously 100% sound like someone who should have involvement from social services. The poor kids.

I would assume that your children come under the heading 'young carers' and therefore they are on the radar for extra support. Is there a local support group that you could contact for help in this regard?Otherwise I would be asking social services for their help (I'm actually rather surprised that the school haven't done so already, but I'm only au fait with the system in Wales)
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 01/01/2022 17:40

Oh for goodness sake! She has already had Covid

Well so have you so it's hardly inconceivable that she'd get it again is it?

If you already have help from social services I'd suggest calling them and asking what they suggest before school reopens. As you keep saying, you know your DDs school, nobody else here does so they won't be able to answer your question

OverTheRubicon · 01/01/2022 17:42

Is there a big back story here to why your DD is under a pastoral care team? The way you mention that you're dealing with your 'symptoms/agitation', your anxiety about not being well enough to set up home learning (even though that should be light work with a 9 year old, and fine for someone with enough energy to respond as much as you have) and your level of upset makes it sound like all might not be well at home. If you're experiencing mental health challenges due to all this and your past experience, then I definitely think you should share that with the school, so they can be aware and support your DD appropriately, whatever that looks like.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:42

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

UndertheCedartree have you only recently moved to where you live?

Although I've never had to worry about a school run I have no local family either (my mil used to be a great help in the holidays but lived an hour's drive away and was a very anxious driver so I had to drive the children to her, and sadly she died when my youngest was 5).

I am not from the country I live in and live in an area where most people stay in the village they or their spouse grew up in, and was very conscious of needing to build a support network here, for the kids. Now we have three families with whom we very regularly lift share for sports and other children related activities and we support each other with other things according to our various skills and lack thereof!

When you don't have family nearby you have to consciously build a network.
Not now when you're ill obviously! But afterwards for next time.

I've lived here with my DD for a 1.5 yr but was ill for a lot of that. (My MH has also affected the situation) I have built up a relationship with her best friend"s mum but unfortunately they live in the opposite direction. All of the neighbours seem to go to a different school.
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JustUseTheDoorSanta · 01/01/2022 17:42

If your school saw fit to collect your child before when that isn't usual and was after you had covid, then I'm not sure what your question was. Seems like you want to mostly announce that you have no other support; that's a shame and something it would be good to work on when you're feeling better. Just saying "hi, happy New Year, how are you?" to neighbours, inviting kids for a playdate etc can really pay off quickly in putting people around you that you can call on in future.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:44

@Icantrememberthenameoftheartis

This happened to me, DD in year one primary, school were bloody awful and basically told me it was my duty to make sure she was in school or they would need to contact an education officer. I was shocked and less than impressed.
Sorry to hear that.
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velvetpeach · 01/01/2022 17:45

So what did you do the last time you had Covid for three months? Was she off school the whole time?!

PoloMintHum · 01/01/2022 17:46

Wow you sound pretty helpless. I'm sorry if you have health issues. I'm a single parent and have worked full time throughout the pandemic as well as make sure my kids make it to school and get collected.

Is there a reason that you need so much support from school? Could social services help if you can't cope with the responsibilities?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:46

@MiddleParking

I’d be happy to drive another kid to school for a day or two right now if their parent had to self isolate, I’ve just had Covid so wouldn’t be bothered about them potentially passing it on. I don’t understand why you’d be expecting to be bedbound for a long time though?
I've already had experience of Covid. So they picked her up when I had a sickness bug. When I twisted my ankle she had to stay at home with me.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:47

Sorry and that was after Covid so I was wondering if anyone's school did pick ups since Covid.

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lunar1 · 01/01/2022 17:48

If you have a social worker I would ask them about funded transport. In my area there are children who are taken and brought him by taxi all year round for a variety of different reasons. It sounds like you need quite a bit of additional support and that would solve this problem for you.

The children also get the same taxi driver every day. While it's nice that a teacher has helped before, they can't be asked to do this on a regular basis.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:50

@PoloMintHum

Wow you sound pretty helpless. I'm sorry if you have health issues. I'm a single parent and have worked full time throughout the pandemic as well as make sure my kids make it to school and get collected.

Is there a reason that you need so much support from school? Could social services help if you can't cope with the responsibilities?

Social services do very little. They work with school but it is school that practically helps. If I was well enough to work full time I'd also be able to get my DD to school - lucky you.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:52

@AssemblySquare

It would be lovely for schools to do this, and some of you are really lucky to have experienced it. The reality is that many schools are woefully understaffed! And frankly it’s the responsibility of parents to get their kids to school.
Not really relevant as this is something my school does offer. Yes, we are really lucky - the pastoral support is second to none.
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HotPenguin · 01/01/2022 17:54

In your circs I wouldn't try and send her to school as I don't think it's fair to ask others to risk getting covid. If it was something else then I would put a message on the class what's app and see if she could walk with a friend going the same way. Or just put her in a taxi?