Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did your DC's school do if you couldn't get your DC to school as you are too unwell?

423 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 02:32

Just posting here for traffic.

If you are a single parent and have been in a situation that you were still ill to get your DC to school what did school do? I will probably be in this situation next week. This happened once prior to Covid and some of the pastoral care teachers came and picked my DD up. It happened once recently and they suggested she stay at home and do online learning. That was fine as I had twisted my ankle and couldn't put any weight on it but I could help with online learning. However this time I have Covid and will not be able to do online learning with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:38

@AndAnotherNewOne

I've known it happen for a one off for a couple of days. But after that it was up to the parents to get the child to school.

What makes you say it could be a long time? Seems odd to say that so early on.

Because of prior experience.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:40

@ThatsNotMyReindeer

Send her there/back in a taxi. Although if I had covid I'd be keeping my kids at home
I can't afford a taxi, nor would she go in one alone. They will obviously not have Covid. You'd honestly keep your kids at home the entire time you had Covid? Wouldn't you get in trouble for attendance?
OP posts:
UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 01/01/2022 16:43

UndertheCedartree have you only recently moved to where you live?

Although I've never had to worry about a school run I have no local family either (my mil used to be a great help in the holidays but lived an hour's drive away and was a very anxious driver so I had to drive the children to her, and sadly she died when my youngest was 5).

I am not from the country I live in and live in an area where most people stay in the village they or their spouse grew up in, and was very conscious of needing to build a support network here, for the kids. Now we have three families with whom we very regularly lift share for sports and other children related activities and we support each other with other things according to our various skills and lack thereof!

When you don't have family nearby you have to consciously build a network.
Not now when you're ill obviously! But afterwards for next time.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:44

@OnceuponaRainbow18

It’s pretty mental that school staff are now expected to pick up people’s kids to take them to school, we are under an unbearable amount of pressure, I wouldn’t even ask.

Surely you have one friend/kid has one friend you could ask to pick up yours on the way?

In the past they have come round to check if they needed to pick up my DD. If I didn't ask and just kept her at home it would not look good. Unfortunately, the one friend lifts in the opposite direction making it 1hr and 20 min walk so not feasible.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:45

Plus I think she does breakfast club.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:47

@SleepingStandingUp

If you're bed bound, who's caring for her now?
The DC are taking care of themselves. Her DB can't take her, unfortunately.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:48

@Itsallok

You must know someone who could pick them up. Any why o you assume it will be a long time?
I'm not assuming it will be a long time I'm praying not. But comparing to last time.
OP posts:
Crazycrazylady · 01/01/2022 16:49

I think given you Covid, it's unlikely that anyone from the school will be able to pick her up .
I think as she is 9 she would able to do some work independently surely?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:49

@SleepingStandingUp

If you've got covid though surely she shouldn't be in. She isn't vaccinated, surely she's just going to take it to school with her
Are they not allowed back in though once they test positive? I mean otherwise when can they go back in??
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:50

Once they test negative?

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:51

@DifferentHair

I've never heard of the school collecting children like this. My mind is blown.

Where I am from it is on the parents to sort something out.

I would have probably said that in the past too. Once you are under pastoral support it is different.
OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 01/01/2022 16:52

Her DF can’t help out?

If you’re a 40 minute walk then that is not local for a primary school so I can see you might struggle with getting classmates parents to help.

In our class a post on the WhatsApp group would definitely lead to offers, even if you felt awkward asking.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:53

@DifferentHair

OP do you expect a staff member to put themselves at risk and willingly hop into an enclosed space with your presumably unvaccinated daughter, who is living with an active Covid case, in order to help you out by driving her to school?
Why so goady? If it was such a risk surely they wouldn't offer it? And at what time can children go back if not when they are negative for Covid??
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:56

@Oblomov21

These are the kind of things that parents should think about and talk about before. If you had a back up plan there wouldn't be an issue. If you thought about it, or asked around, beforehand, you could probably find a nice person to do you a favour. You could talk to your dc about .... if this happened ...
Funnily enough, life doesn't run so smoothly for everyone. What is pastoral care for then if not to help those in need? If only it were so easy to 'find a nice person to do you a favour'. Those that have that take it for granted.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 16:58

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@DifferentHair

Also raises the issue of car insurance- as it becomes a work car…![/quote]
Well, presumably the Pastoral Care team know what they are doing seeing as this is part of their job!!

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:00

I asked a straightforward question which meant were able to answer. Many thanks to those. Then loads or jump on to be outraged that someone should be getting some help that they aren't able to get! If you don't need the help be grateful.

OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:02

@gunnersgold

Can't you ask a friend to pick them up? It's not down to the school to help you really. I took a friends dd to school and picked her up daily for months while she was Ill in hospital . I'm sure someone will help. Do you have covid or something else? I guess that is a consideration too.
Why do school offer to help then? I have Covid.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:03

@Itonlytakesonetree

Who is helping you now if you are bed bound? Can they help with the school run?
DC are helping me.
OP posts:
Oneforthemoneytwo · 01/01/2022 17:03

Message another parent and ask them to pick her up on their way with a promise to return the favour. She’s 9 she can go with another parent

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:05

@ChimChimeny

I'm also a bit surprised the first thought is someone from school.picking her up/dropping her off. Aren't there any parents of her friends who could help?
Obviously if there were friends I would ask first. If she misses school staff often turn up/or phone up offering help as we are under pastoral care
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:06

@Explosivefarts

I’m in Scotland and never once heard of this happening . Maybe if social workers were involved someone would come collect them.
So you have heard of it happening then? Thank you for the well wishes.
OP posts:
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:09

@cocktailclub

You're well enough to post on Mumsnet so could you possibly do some work with dd? Not being unkind but you could break it into small chunks and set her a task to do while you have a rest then mark it when you wake up. I'm not a single parent but when my dc were little my partner worked away. I remember a few times being really unwell myself but just doing the minimum with them to keep them out of mischief and sleeping at every opportunity.
I find the work very challenging. She could keep herself occupied but actual work set we would really struggle. I've been using Mumsnet to try and distract myself from symptoms/agitation but I can still only manage a bit.
OP posts:
Hb12 · 01/01/2022 17:09

If you know they can collect her, then why the question?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 17:12

@CristinaYangismySpiritAnimal

If it’s Covid, we would authorise the absence. If you were unwell with anything else, we wouldn’t. It would really depend on the circumstances how understanding we would be - we tend to know the likelihood of a parent being able to ask someone else for help. In very rare circumstances, we may be able to help for one day.
I know the situation with my school. They come round and offer to pick her up if she is off. Obviously they know our circumstances. That is why I am asking if pick ups still happen since Covid.
OP posts:
Drunkpanda · 01/01/2022 17:13

Your circumstances are clearly different to average with your dc being under pastoral support (I don't know the term myself) so why leave that out of the OP?
If they helped you before they might again. But, likely to be more short staffed now. Lots of children across the country go to school in vetted taxis. Maybe the school could pay for one. But fingers crossed you won't be ill for 3 months, a 9 year old can't be left to their own devices for that long. (Maybe older dc there too, didn't notice any ages).

Swipe left for the next trending thread