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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did your DC's school do if you couldn't get your DC to school as you are too unwell?

423 replies

UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 02:32

Just posting here for traffic.

If you are a single parent and have been in a situation that you were still ill to get your DC to school what did school do? I will probably be in this situation next week. This happened once prior to Covid and some of the pastoral care teachers came and picked my DD up. It happened once recently and they suggested she stay at home and do online learning. That was fine as I had twisted my ankle and couldn't put any weight on it but I could help with online learning. However this time I have Covid and will not be able to do online learning with her.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 19:52

@spanieleyes

But no one can answer your question because it is so school and situation dependent. Even with the added information of social service and pastoral care involvement not all schools would be able to transport your child. Clearly your school has done so in the past, so there is a greater possibility that they can continue to do so than a school for which this would not be feasible in the first place. The ONLY people who can tell you whether it is possible in your specific circumstances are the pastoral team at your school.
@spanieleyes - look, plenty of people have been able to help. If you can't there is no need to post. Telling me people can't help when they actively are is just silly. Lots of people also receive help from pastoral care and have had their DC picked up before. I am asking are the school still doing this or other arrangements. Many posters have given me answers to this.
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SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 01/01/2022 19:55

Hopefully you'll feel better soon. Here in Northern Ireland you can apply to the education authority for funding for a school bus or taxi but it's for children who live in rural areas usually - not sure if they would approve something like this request but maybe with input form SS/education welfare? Hopefully you have something similar where you live and the school can offer some suggestions.

Crunchymum · 01/01/2022 19:57

@NoTeaForMe

Tuesday is still a long way away really. You may be feeling well enough to get her to school and back by then. How far away is the school?
The OP has to isolate as she has Covid? So she can't take her? Assuming it's a recent diagnosis and the OP isn't 7 days and testing negative on an LFT by Tuesday.
Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 19:58

@arethereanyleftatall

This is one of those mn situations where I think I must live in a parallel universe to others.

We have a class whatsapp - a fairly standard message to tap out 'can someone take Sofia to school Monday, I can't get her there.' Cue half a dozen people saying 'sure' (5 of them pointlessly after the first one, but never mind).

It is absolutely lovely of the school/teacher to pick up, but I don't like the idea that it's the first thought.

You do live in a different world to me. I have no class watsapp or help. I think we do tend to take the help we have for granted. It's not the first thought to get help from school it is a last resort but funny you don't like me taking the help available to me for granted yet you take the help available to you for granted.
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spanieleyes · 01/01/2022 19:59

@UndertheCedartree
I haven't said no one can help but no one can tell you what YOUR school can do except your school! Posters can certainly tell you what other schools can/can't/will/won't be able to do. But that doesn't help you, does it?

QuillBill · 01/01/2022 20:02

@spanieleyes

I think the OP has moved on since her original post, it has now become a " will they still be able to continue to collect my child if I can't get her to school?" Which we don't know. It sounds as if the school has procedures in place, hopefully they will be able to continue them.

What I think is that you were being unnecessarily unkind to someone in a difficult situation.

And I also think that it's unlikely that you thought that the OP was under the impression that someone on Mumsnet was going to be able to tell her exactly what her own school may or may not be able to do.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:02

@Nailsbythesea

Staff are not general insured to come and pick children up. It is the parent's responsibility to get them to school. Taxi, walk with other children, bus etc for younger children, ask a neighbour to help, other parents etc

I would never ever expect a member of staff to come and pick my children up -ever. When I had covid -other parents stepped in. I also step in for others.

Doesn't really answer the question, though!

So if you couldn't get your DC to school and school staff knocked on your door and offered to take them to school - what would you do? Refuse? Imagine you don't have all those other options available. I wouldn't! I'd swallow my pride and put my DC first.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:03

@BlueShirtGuy

Our school has been coordinating walking to school with some of our TAs as most of them walk as well. This would have been unthinkable before the pandemic but people are just having to take things in their stride a bit more now. Having said that, none of our dc are from 40 minutes walk away from the school.
That sounds so good!
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:05

@cansu

I think it would be unlikely that the school has sufficient staff to be able to do this especially as it is a 40 min walk! You need to start phoning family and friends and begging for a favour here. It isn't that they wouldn't want to help but they would not want to be in close quarters in a car either as potentially that could pass on the virus.
It is 20 min there and back. I did think that about the car. I have no local family and my friend is working.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:07

@CouldBeOuting - it is a big school. There is a pastoral care/safeguarding team.

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BlueShirtGuy · 01/01/2022 20:08

[quote 5thHelena]@UndertheCedartree but how are we supposed to know? Your situation sounds extremely specific and every school has completely different guidance at the moment..! [/quote]

I'm just going to go on every thread parping on about how I don't know. I think it will make Mumsnet a much better place.

We can all do it! All three million users. Obviously we would need the thread limit on posts to be infinite rather than a thousand.

I don't know a good family film on Netflix so I better just go and tell the OP of that thread.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:11

@Hankunamatata

Never heard of school getting involved in getting a child to school. Usually just use a taxi some round here have specially checked drivers as they do special school pick up and drop off
Is that something you found out about through school or a taxi service? It could be possible SS would fund, perhaps. I felt uncomfortable about her going in a taxi alone but I didn't know there were special vetted ones.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:15

@BlueShirtGuy Grin

Op: asks question
Many Posters: answer question very helpfully
Other poster: noone can possibly help you with your question!!
Other poster: I would never take help from the school!! I'm so shocked some people do!! I just use all the other help I have available...

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:17

[quote spanieleyes]@UndertheCedartree
I haven't said no one can help but no one can tell you what YOUR school can do except your school! Posters can certainly tell you what other schools can/can't/will/won't be able to do. But that doesn't help you, does it? [/quote]
Yes, it helps me a lot.

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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:18

I'm not going to waste my energy detailing why but suffice to say others are able to be helpful so if you're not no need to post.

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5thHelena · 01/01/2022 20:18

@BlueShirtGuy I'm not going on every thread and I'm not parping on. I've made one comment and agreed with another. I've interacted with this far less than many others yet you have decided to single me out for some reason. What's it got to do with you?

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:21

@EatDrinkEatDrink

If you are well enough to be responding to messages on here surely you are well enough to switch a laptop on and set it up so she can do some home learning? At 9 she doesn't need help dressing etc so what's the issue? Set some tasks and go sit on the sofa. It's not like you have a baby or a child under 4 that still needs help with everything. Or can't you just get another parent to take her anyway? Granted if you had covid I wouldn't want to drive your child though.
It's the home learning on Oak I would struggle with/she can't do alone. No other parent can take her. If she could do other things on laptop then she could do it. But honestly I think the best place for her is school.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:23

@TheVolturi

Are you vaccinated op? It's usually only rough for a few days if you are.
Yes. Been awful for 8 days now...It is milder. Don't think I'll be hospitalised like last time.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:25

@Clymene

I've asked other parents to help. It's usually been because I've been stuck at work though rathe than couldn't get them in. I think I've always managed that. Wouldn't occur to me to ask to the school.
It wouldn't occur to you to ask school because you have other options, obviously! I would be the same in your situation!
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:27

@Normski67

You need to check with family, school friends and neighbours first. School friends is where I’d be starting. Have you done this?
Gosh, I hadn't thought of that!! Grin
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:28

@loloballlolo

i just said to the school my child was ill, no drama! kept off school and chilled at home. it's just a day or two. I don't really get the fuss on this thread.
The thing I'm trying to figure out is if it longer than a day or 2. Got some useful ideas, thanks to this thread.
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Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:31

@BliainNua

It seems odd to me that you're already planning on being too ill to get your DC to school in 3 days, and for a good while.... See how you're feeling on Monday evening.
It's based on having Covid before. I'm not at the stage where I've started getting better yet. It can take a,long time to recover, before you even think about Long Covid. If I wait til Monday Evening...I've got no time to organise anything!
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likeafishneedsabike · 01/01/2022 20:32

@lunar1

If you can't get her to school for a few days, just get her reading while sat on your bed so you can help where needed. Set her up a tt rockstars account and have her watch something she's interested in on bbc bite size or a wildlife documentary. That's more than enough. Any longer than a week and SS need to significantly increase their input with taxis and sorting out young carer support.
When I was in bed with Covid I listened to a lot of Audible with my then 9 year old. Apparently the Harry Potter books read by Stephen Fry are available free online. Couple that with a Harry Potter colouring book and you may have one very happy home-from-school child!
TequilaBlaze · 01/01/2022 20:34

There's no need to be sarcastic OP. Lots of people are trying to offer ideas but you've turned most of them down. For someone who can't help their child learn online you're certainly able to respond to a lot of MN messages; perhaps you're more capable than you think.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 01/01/2022 20:37

@AgentJohnson

It’s hard being a single parent with no family support but…….. it is what it is and you do have to cultivate a network for such emergencies. It doesn’t help you now but it is something you do need to work on for the future. At 9 there are a lot of things your DD could do to help in the short term, does she know how to work the microwave etc.

As much as your daughter hates missing school, you have a transmissible illness and her staying home until you’ve passed the contagious period could be the most sensible (even if it contradicts current guidelines) position to take.

If you have friends and neighbours, now is the time to call in favours or to ask for help.

What is the contagious period? I thought it was the period of self-isolation or is that not right? I was going to make sure she has a negative test before she goes back.

And yes, she can use the microwave, kettle etc. Also has her teen brother to help.

I do have a friend who does help me but this is not something she can help with.

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