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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We are going to leave

120 replies

FluffyT · 31/12/2021 22:50

This is my NY resolution and I am putting it out there.
I am taking my DS and we’re leaving. By the end of 2022 we will have gone and be getting on with our lives without fear.
He is not going to hurt us much longer.
We are done here. We are getting out.

OP posts:
tectonicplates · 01/01/2022 01:41

Nice one, @FluffyT - you can do this! We'll be supporting you all the way. I know there's a lot of stress right now but I promise you it will be worth it.

Justlovedogs · 01/01/2022 01:45

@FluffyT - no advice, just a whole heap of love and hugs. Take care of yourself and your son and good luck. Flowers

organicapricot · 01/01/2022 01:46

This time next year just think how amazing and strong you are to have come so far. All the best for you and your DC x

Londonr · 01/01/2022 01:46

[quote FluffyT]**@Londonr* I'm sorry things are so hard for you. I understand about the refuge thing as you have a teenage son. BUT you can approach any council and they have to help you as its Domestic violence. They will likely put you in emergency/temporary accommodation. If your not safe please leave ASAP. Don't wait till the end of 2022.*

I won’t be waiting. We will be gone by April. I have approached the council and they don’t have anywhere because of COVID. We will do it by ourselves.[/quote]
April is quite a long way of. Please if you find yourself in danger go to the council. The council were fobbing you off . My daughter fleed dv with her child during the first lock down . I hope your will be ok though and I'm glad there is light at the end of the tunnel

Seneca · 01/01/2022 01:52

Wishing you all the very best.Flowers

GremlinDolphin4 · 01/01/2022 02:00

Good luck and lots of love, it will be better! Xx

Original poster
FluffyT · 01/01/2022 02:14

Thank you so much for all the encouragement. You really don’t know how much it helps. Even strangers on the internet….makes me feel I can actually do it. I know that sounds silly. I can’t forgive him for what he’s done this time. It escalated and I was stupidly not expecting it. We are done. I see it now. He will never change.

OP posts:
Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 01/01/2022 02:24

Well done OP but please get out as soon as you can! April is a long way off and I fear for you and definitely your sons safety. It breaks my heart to think of anyone going through this especially a child Sad good luck I wish you both the best.

2022willbebetter · 01/01/2022 08:13

You can do this @FluffyT . We believe in you. Get out safely and as quickly as you can.

GiantHaystacks2021 · 01/01/2022 08:24

Go for it.
We will be rooting for you and your DS.

MarrymeTomHardy · 01/01/2022 08:33

Good luck OP!
I did this in 2021, mainly EA rather than physical. Hard but so worth it Flowers

Rainbowqueeen · 01/01/2022 08:46

My favourite post of 2021.

Looking forward to my favourite post of 2022 - the one where you and DS are out and safe and happy.

I wish you all the best. Please keep posting if it helps you.

SofiaMichElf · 01/01/2022 08:52

Oh bless you, @FluffyT, I'm so sorry you and your son are being hurt.

Just imagine the sense of relief and the heavy weight lifting from you both once you're away from him.

Brighter days to come. Flowers

Mindymomo · 01/01/2022 09:02

You sound really brave and I sincerely hope you can get out asap, nobody should have to live in fear. I can’t imagine what you are going through. Hopefully someone reading this can give you good practical advice to get you out sooner, there’s got to be a way.

HelloDaisy · 01/01/2022 09:07

Good for you, that’s a great resolution to make and you will both be in a better place by next Christmas.

Are you safe to stay there now though? He put you both in a&e this time so could easily do so again. Can you possibly leave now as will be safer?

headspin10 · 01/01/2022 09:15

Brilliant!! You can do it!!

LakieLady · 01/01/2022 09:16

So glad you're getting out. @FluffyT. And the council have a statutory duty to house people fleeing domestic violence, Covid doesn't change that.

Do you have support from a DV worker or IDVA (independent domestic violence advocate)? They will help you when it comes to dealing with the council.

And I'm so sorry you and your boys have had to go through this. Flowers

Justilou1 · 01/01/2022 09:18

I’m proud of you both

LostForIdeas · 01/01/2022 09:21

Seeing how violent this person is, can I ask you to be very careful about your Internet history etc…. I wouldn’t want him to find out you are planning to move by reading those posts on MN….

I really wish you the best for 2022. And hope you will find a way to get away even sooner than April.
You are amazing. You are strong. Never forget
👏👏👏👏

WineIsMyMainVice · 01/01/2022 09:50

@JackTheHack

Get your ducks in a row Know your stuff Get copies of vital documents Have your own account You will get other advice, but plan well
Very sensible advice. Good luck op.
Offmyfence · 01/01/2022 09:56

I wish you all the luck in the world! Do it!

LaLaLandes · 01/01/2022 10:01

Sending so much luck your way, you can do this!

Bati · 01/01/2022 10:15

My sister was in a similar position 12 years ago, thankfully she left him and has never looked back.
Do you have any family you could go and stay with why your sort everything out x

Mummyoflittledragon · 01/01/2022 10:56

I really hope you get the DVPO. Please reach out to anyone, who may be able to help. Family, friends. Big hugs. Bless you and your ds. Flowers

doodleygirl · 01/01/2022 11:03

I have no advice but wanted to add how awesome you are, you will get out and have the life you deserve Flowers

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