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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We are going to leave

120 replies

FluffyT · 31/12/2021 22:50

This is my NY resolution and I am putting it out there.
I am taking my DS and we’re leaving. By the end of 2022 we will have gone and be getting on with our lives without fear.
He is not going to hurt us much longer.
We are done here. We are getting out.

OP posts:
DomPom47 · 01/01/2022 00:26

Be well and be happy 💐 stay brave and strong.

MrsPerfect12 · 01/01/2022 00:27

Wishing you all the best. I left with my DD back in 2006, things turned worse when she was born and it took me two years to leave. Giving you strength. We'll support and raise you up here. Best of luck.

bluebell34567 · 01/01/2022 00:29

so sorry for your situation op.
i hope new year brings you and your child happiness.Flowers

BraveGoldie · 01/01/2022 00:32

Well done @FluffyT !!!! I am sending you all best wishes for this important year. You are going to look back on 2022 as the best turning point. Keep us updated!

PappaPaddy · 01/01/2022 00:33

Wishing you and your DS love and strength for 2022
Onwards and upwards to happier times for both of you.
❤️

DowntonCrabby · 01/01/2022 00:40

I wish you all the luck in the world with this, I hope your 2022 is a year of peace and freedom.
I hope you have some great RL support and if not (or even if so!) post here for any support MN can give. Flowers

MzHz · 01/01/2022 00:42

So proud of you

Your son will be proud of you
You are me 11 years ago. My boy and I are absolutely tight and you will be too

LolaButt · 01/01/2022 00:46

I’m so sorry you and your boy have been hurt.

Sending you positivity and the hope that you can get out sooner than April xx

Barbarantia · 01/01/2022 00:47

My mum never left. She had 5 children. Barely anyone calls her at Christmas.
I've taught my daughter and I'll teach my son to leave anyone who as much as bruises them immediately even if it means sleeping under a bridge. You are on the right track OP! but why wait till end of year? Why not tomorrow?

Vispa · 01/01/2022 00:47

I remember some of your other posts FluffyT, I've never been able to forget you and your situation. You sound like a very strong and brave person. Do NOT be embarrassed, you are not to blame for the abuse, it could happen to any one of us. Good luck, wishing you and your son a happy, safe future. You can do this! Flowers

Barbarantia · 01/01/2022 00:49

Ah refuge limitation. Never mind. I saw it just as I posted.
Go you. I'm hopeful for an update in April.

AlphabetStew · 01/01/2022 00:51

Have a great 2022 FluffyT and sons

Duckduckduck123 · 01/01/2022 00:52
Flowers
Merryoldgoat · 01/01/2022 00:55

@FluffyT

By you both being black and blue do you mean he hurt you and your child physically? Or is that metaphorically?

If he’s physically hurt you please report him to the police.

Helptonight · 01/01/2022 01:01

Well done OP, decision is often the hardest part. You will never regret the freedom you will have and the peace of mind you will experience Flowers

RAOK · 01/01/2022 01:05

You’ve got this! I’m rooting for you both.

Londonr · 01/01/2022 01:09

@FluffyT

We have been planning and preparing for months. We will be gone by April I hope. It’s so hard when you don’t qualify for any help until you have actually left and refuges won’t take teen boys. We have tried multiple times before but it’s never worked out. This time is it. We are doing it on our own.
I'm sorry things are so hard for you. I understand about the refuge thing as you have a teenage son. BUT you can approach any council and they have to help you as its Domestic violence. They will likely put you in emergency/temporary accommodation. If your not safe please leave ASAP. Don't wait till the end of 2022.
Original poster
FluffyT · 01/01/2022 01:11

[quote Merryoldgoat]@FluffyT

By you both being black and blue do you mean he hurt you and your child physically? Or is that metaphorically?

If he’s physically hurt you please report him to the police.[/quote]
We are in the process of getting a DVPO hopefully after what happened, though I am afraid the court will side with him, even though he put both of us in A&E.

OP posts:
OrangeIsTheNewRed · 01/01/2022 01:11

I wish you luck ❤️

Payitforward55 · 01/01/2022 01:14

I wish you and your son the very best. In fact I'll be praying tonight that something happens for you very soon and you don't need to wait until April. ❤️

Hangingwithmygnomies · 01/01/2022 01:14

@FluffyT I'm so sorry that you and your son have suffered like that at the hands of this monster. Well done for being determined to leave. It took my Mum a long time to leave her abusive ex but it was the best thing she did. Good luck!

Original poster
FluffyT · 01/01/2022 01:14

@Londonr I'm sorry things are so hard for you. I understand about the refuge thing as you have a teenage son. BUT you can approach any council and they have to help you as its Domestic violence. They will likely put you in emergency/temporary accommodation. If your not safe please leave ASAP. Don't wait till the end of 2022.

I won’t be waiting. We will be gone by April. I have approached the council and they don’t have anywhere because of COVID. We will do it by ourselves.

OP posts:
Nat6999 · 01/01/2022 01:21

It is like ripping a plaster off, the quicker you do it, the less it hurts. Get your ducks in a row & get it done.

NameChange2PostThis · 01/01/2022 01:38

@FluffyT no advice. No judgment.

You’ve got this. Just sending love and encouragement. Flowers

LowlandLucky · 01/01/2022 01:40

The weight of the world will be lifted from your shoulder and you Son all the luck in the world.x