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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to start my own 'working class Mumsnet'?

433 replies

shoplifteroftheworld · 31/12/2021 18:45

I see so many topics and conversations on here that just don't relate to my own life and experiences. Lots of well off women talking about their recent purchases from Boden or Uniqlo or some other place I can't afford to shop. Chat about dinner parties and holidays abroad. I'd like a site for mums and women on lower incomes as this site can leave a lot of us feeling left out of certain conversations.

OP posts:
WinterDeWinter · 31/12/2021 23:19

@shoplifteroftheworld

The good thing about being on a low income is finding gems like this when you visit charity shops. Framed photos of Nicolas Cage! You can't get that in Boden 😂
upvote
ErmineAndPearls · 31/12/2021 23:20

I like to see how the other half live! I (working class) married DH (middle). His dad was a doctor, don’t you know. We both work full time and I feel wealthy! Together, we earn less than DH’s dad did, so DH thinks we’re poor. I have a silk Whistles dress that I wear to work. I bought it on eBay - never buy anything new.

Lifeisnteasy · 31/12/2021 23:22

Just go on Netmums

Wheredidthequietgo · 31/12/2021 23:22

If you swap the "mums" and the "net" around in a Google search you'll find what you are looking for 🤣

BarefootHippieChick · 31/12/2021 23:22

Johnnie must be loving all the advertising for Boden on this thread 🤣

gofg · 31/12/2021 23:23

I’m constantly amazed at how acceptable it is on MN to be rude or dismissive of any poster who appears to have money or class.

How, exactly, does one "appear to have class"? Thank goodness I live in a country where this sort of rubbish doesn't matter so much.

MeredithGreyishblue · 31/12/2021 23:24

@shoplifteroftheworld

The good thing about being on a low income is finding gems like this when you visit charity shops. Framed photos of Nicolas Cage! You can't get that in Boden 😂
Please tell me you bought those. They are amazing. I'd love those on my mantlepiece and never explain them to anyone!
onlychildhamster · 31/12/2021 23:25

Also people are more likely to talk about about the aspects of their lives that make them look 'rich'. Like I don't have a car which I know many people who are struggling have. To me, car ownership is unbelievably expensive as I live in London and need to use public transport to get to the office anyway ; but a Boden dress (that I can get on sale) or going overseas (to see my family) isn't.

Also how are dinner parties middle class? Is a shabbat friday meal a dinner party- there are often several courses and we always have afters?Its practically a requirement of the religion that people should host their friends and families on Friday night, i don't see how it makes people posh?? Granted rich people would host more people and more frequently but poorer people would still host their adult DC and perhaps their close friends (my MIL would host people who invite her and she puts in a lot of effort to prepare several courses including baking her own bread and her own cakes). my DH is similarly skilled in cooking and would invite his mum and sisters to ours for lunch...

shinynewapple21 · 31/12/2021 23:26

Glad you are taking responses to this thread in good spirits @shoplifteroftheworld as there are some pretty nasty responses .

Good responses from @ssd and @CSJobseeker

ruthydoodles24f · 31/12/2021 23:28

Those pictures remind me of when we were clearing my granny's flat when she passed

She had many pics of Brian Connolly signed and framed 😂don't think we put them to the charity shop (maybe less of a market?)

Do people really care/get impressed by class these days ?

ErmineAndPearls · 31/12/2021 23:29

@shoplifteroftheworld Start your “poverty Olympics” thread and also a “when did you realise that you were really wealthy?” thread. I would love to read both.

MeredithGreyishblue · 31/12/2021 23:30

I have friends round for an evening and that involves eating together but I'd never call it a dinner party. Its just not a phrase I'd use. It's really 80s! And formal.

Wavypurple · 31/12/2021 23:30

YANBU. I know exactly where you’re coming from.

CSJobseeker · 31/12/2021 23:34

@onlychildhamster

Also people are more likely to talk about about the aspects of their lives that make them look 'rich'. Like I don't have a car which I know many people who are struggling have. To me, car ownership is unbelievably expensive as I live in London and need to use public transport to get to the office anyway ; but a Boden dress (that I can get on sale) or going overseas (to see my family) isn't.

Also how are dinner parties middle class? Is a shabbat friday meal a dinner party- there are often several courses and we always have afters?Its practically a requirement of the religion that people should host their friends and families on Friday night, i don't see how it makes people posh?? Granted rich people would host more people and more frequently but poorer people would still host their adult DC and perhaps their close friends (my MIL would host people who invite her and she puts in a lot of effort to prepare several courses including baking her own bread and her own cakes). my DH is similarly skilled in cooking and would invite his mum and sisters to ours for lunch...

It sounds as though a Shabbat Friday meal is a festive religious occasion, and people would often host their own family members? Is that right?

I think this is different from a dinner party. Dinner parties are held on any old day - no occasion needed. And people don't invite family to dinner parties usually, but friends. At a proper festive occasion (e.g. Xmas), of course WC people get together with family for a big meal, but it wouldn't be a dinner party.

AllTheShitHappensToMe · 31/12/2021 23:36

Hands up whose parents made them hid from the Provi woman?

Tisaxon · 31/12/2021 23:39

@Andtheyalllookjustthesame

Working class don't have dinner parties. BBQs, yeah. Piss ups and beige party food, absolutely. Family round for Sunday roast, of course. But dinner parties? Are the soul domain of the aspiring classes.

Boden is the clothing equivalent of dinner parties. Pretentious, aspirational, really not that great.

It’s only a matter of what terms you use, surely? One person’s dinner party is another person’s ‘having some people over and feeding them spaghetti’.
ruthydoodles24f · 31/12/2021 23:40

@AllTheShitHappensToMe

Hands up whose parents made them hid from the Provi woman?
Guess there will be none of that now they have been liquidated... Don't get me started on them preying on the vulnerable 😬
MeredithGreyishblue · 31/12/2021 23:41

@AllTheShitHappensToMe

Hands up whose parents made them hid from the Provi woman?
Not that but I go cold when I hear any knock at the door, still.
elbea · 31/12/2021 23:45

@saraclara There are plenty of kids clothes for £10 and less. It’s 10% extra off sale and I had a £20 referral voucher added on top.

Our local Waitrose has a John Lewis inside, at the end of the season everything gets reduced. I’ve got loads of new clothes for £2/£3 for my daughter - shorts, t shirts, dungarees, vest packs. If they weren’t under her bed I’d take a picture of them all with tags still on. Why would I make it up?

AIBU to want to start my own 'working class Mumsnet'?
onlychildhamster · 31/12/2021 23:48

@CSJobseeker Ah I see, thanks for explaining. Yes its a festive religious occasion but one that happens every week! Its generally shabbat dinner on Friday night and shabbat lunch on Saturday where people are likely to get invited/likely to host.

People mostly do host family but often friends and even strangers were invited. When I was first dating my DH, I tagged along to a shabbat friday dinner meal even though I had never met the host. People can also invite newcomers to the area or even young people who don't have family locally. On facebook, there are often posts 'does someone have a place on their shabbat dinner table for my niece, she is studying in the area and has no one to celebrate shabbat with, thank you kindly'.

Lifeisnteasy · 31/12/2021 23:49

@Wheredidthequietgo

If you swap the "mums" and the "net" around in a Google search you'll find what you are looking for 🤣
Beat ya to it 😉
crazyjinglist · 31/12/2021 23:51

I see so many topics and conversations on here that just don't relate to my own life and experiences

One of the things I like most about MN is precisely that. It is full of opinions amd experiences of people who are unlike me and also people who are like me in a massive variety of different ways.

If the whole site was about where you shop, then maybe you'd have a point. But there are so many discussions where class and income are irrelevant and people from completely different walks of life find things in common or argue on the same side.

Meowwwwwww · 31/12/2021 23:52

[quote onlychildhamster]@stevalnamechanger it would cost me time and money to go to those big supermarkets with clothes, I live in z3 north London and there isn't one within walking distance. I would need to get a bus. And you don't need to wait for a sale, its almost always on. At least for Boden anyway. I have never bought anything for RRP. Can't afford anything for RRP.

I am always a bit shocked that people shop in the non sale section.[/quote]
OMG it almost seems like you are being serious with this. I couldn’t be cringing harder on your behalf. Demographically I fit the typical MN profile — materially I’m probably a bit more fortunate than most on here, TBH — but I was raised with a strong understanding of the real world. As an adult I have traveled and worked in a variety of environments and had the incredibly rewarding experience of getting to know people from a huge variety of backgrounds. If you really think Biden and Uniqlo are accessible to people on lower incomes I beg you to please broaden your horizons. There’s no excuse for living a small-minded stereotype life. You are humiliating the rest of us “MC” people who actually have a clue.

saraclara · 31/12/2021 23:52

[quote elbea]@saraclara There are plenty of kids clothes for £10 and less. It’s 10% extra off sale and I had a £20 referral voucher added on top.

Our local Waitrose has a John Lewis inside, at the end of the season everything gets reduced. I’ve got loads of new clothes for £2/£3 for my daughter - shorts, t shirts, dungarees, vest packs. If they weren’t under her bed I’d take a picture of them all with tags still on. Why would I make it up?[/quote]
No-one else on this thread has been talking about toddler's clothes. They've been talking about Boden dresses for adults, not vests, t shirts and shorts for three year olds! And you made no mention of kids when you responded to posts about womens clothes with your £10 and £2-3 claims.

saraclara · 31/12/2021 23:55

@Wheredidthequietgo

If you swap the "mums" and the "net" around in a Google search you'll find what you are looking for 🤣
Given the abuse and mockery that posters on Netmums get here, this post pretty much sums up the attitude of some MC women on this thread to their less well-off fellow posters.