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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Off-lead dog running over to my on-lead dog, other owner responds aggressively

108 replies

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 16:13

For some reason I can't shake this so coming to AIBU.

I took my dog for a gentle walk this afternoon. He is recovering from an injury so was on a long-lead, to prevent him running but also so that I could communicate to other people that he doesn't want to say hi to their dogs today (I reel some lead in for this - it's not an annoying flexilead, it is a highly visible bright lead that you can't miss at all). This is what I did with other dogs I saw, whose owners respected this and didn't let their dogs approach.

We were in an empty field so he had a bit of lead with freedom to move around and sniff but could be shortened. Part of it got tangled in a branch that had been blown over so I was untangling it. As I did, an off-lead dog appeared out of nowhere and charged towards my dog. He was a few metres away from me as I was reeling his line in and it was stuck on a branch. I called to the owner "he is recovering from injury so is on-lead and won't want to say hello to yours". The man smiled and did nothing. After five seconds or so of looking super uncomfortable with a dog sniffing his face (which most dogs don't like anyway let alone when in pain), my dog asked the other dog to move. It didn't, so he chased it away (out of character behaviour because he is injured). He made a bit of noise whilst doing so but didn't make any contact - he wouldn't. By chase away, I mean he ran the couple of metres of his lead he had back to me and the dog happened to run alongside him.

The guy then shouts "FOR F* SAKE". I asked why he let his dog run up to on-lead dogs (there was another on-lead dog with me and a friend, that one was fine but is nervous so isn't let off), and he said "this is a woodland, your dog shouldn't do that". I told him that I have as much entitlement to walk my dog as he does his, and mine was on-lead, his shouldn't have approached or he should have recalled it.

He made a big scene of checking his dog over (fine to do - I witnessed the whole thing happen and my dog didn't touch his but did make some noise, as dogs do when communicating) and went on without saying anything. I did note that he put his dog on a lead afterwards. For some reason I can't stop thinking about it - I think because it's a normal walking spot for me and I don't want people to get the wrong idea about my dog. This was out of character for him due to recovering from an injury, and because his lead was around a big branch it was tight. My dog is generally comfortable with small dogs (which this was), doesn't like GSDs so we just avoid them.

I think I'm just a bit more flustered as the man got aggressive, usually people acknowledge that the other dog was on a lead.

YABU - you're in the wrong and should have apologised
YANBU - the man should have recalled his dog when you said yours was injured and on-lead, and not blamed you

I should add I work with dogs professionally so in terms of reading the incident etc I know that my dog did nothing but make a bit of noise to clear the other dog off. Feeling extra touchy over the last few days...aunt flo is due.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 31/12/2021 16:17

You know you’re not wrong.

Unfortunately rubbish owners never think it’s their fault or that their dog is the problem!

dangermouseisace · 31/12/2021 16:17

He didnt get his dog under control. Yours was on a lead. His problem.

RickJames · 31/12/2021 16:18

Dogs are not toys and have a right to vocally threaten dogs that are upsetting them. The chap was in the wrong and a dick, just move on. He'll call his dog back next time, I'm sure.

MangoBiscuit · 31/12/2021 16:20

Sounds like he knew he was in the wrong and tried to bluster his way out of it. What a dick.

TimeForTeaAndG · 31/12/2021 16:21

He was in the wrong. Hope your dog is fully recovered soon.

Original poster
yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 16:23

Annoyingly my dog's limp that was improving has now returned too. Poor lad. Nice quiet evening for him.

I think the super frustrating thing is that it was in my local area, where I work with dogs...so I do worry about what others think more than I would if anyone else were to say this happened to them.

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 31/12/2021 16:25

Yanbu but try not to worry about it.I hope your dog will be better soon.
I'm your next walk,try not to be anxious or your dog will pick up on it and become anxious too.
Recently an off lead dog attacked mind twice whilst the owner stood there watching me wrestling off her dog in the mud.she was smirking .these people are idiotic.

Tinygem · 31/12/2021 16:26

YANBU this kind of entitled behaviour boils my blood, unfair on the other dog too.

Original poster
yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 16:29

I would like to know the thoughts of those that voted YABU

OP posts:
Original poster
yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 16:30

YANBU this kind of entitled behaviour boils my blood, unfair on the other dog too.

Agreed. I work with lots of anxious dogs and the biggest set backs to them is, often, the behaviour of other people who don't want to take responsibility for their own actions.

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 31/12/2021 16:31

@MangoBiscuit

Sounds like he knew he was in the wrong and tried to bluster his way out of it. What a dick.
This. They always try to deflect.
FFSFFSFFS · 31/12/2021 16:31

I can guarantee you he would have reacted differently if you were a man. He was a duck.

2022beesknees · 31/12/2021 16:33

It's a difficult one as I can see it from both perspectives. One person's aggressive GSD, for example, is the owner's exuberant, energetic, loving, friendly and beautiful companion who deserves time to be off-lead in woodland. If he actually heard what you said, he should have recalled his dog immediately.
Hope your dog makes a speedy recovery.

Furrydogmum · 31/12/2021 16:33

My dog is a twat!! Fear aggression, but a twat none the less. I keep her on a lead and that should tell other owners to keep away. I verbally tell people and some pillocks still let their dogs come over saying it served their dog right if they get nipped. This pisses me off because it stresses my dog and she doesn't go looking for trouble Hmm

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 16:35

this annoys me whether my dog is on lead or off. I don't let her run up to other dogs even if off lead til I know it's ok and other dog is should be the same. She's a small terrier and incredibly vocal and generally doesn't want to play unless she knows the dog. People often look disgusted when she tells their unruly dog off for bounding all over her (she only really does this of on lead unless it's a really big dog being too rough). You get used to it after a while.

Mojitomogul · 31/12/2021 16:36

You're definitely not in the wrong! This angers me too, my dog never approaches others and I had him on the lead as hes nervous, this dog came charging from a half field away and I shouted to the owners to come and get their dog, and they dont even bother to start moving towards it..their dog is super jumpy and pawing at mine, and my dog gives it a telling off. They then look at me like I'm unreasonable! Have your dog under control and be able to recall it, or dont let it off!

Itsalmostanaccessory · 31/12/2021 16:37

It sounds like he didnt respond to you after you told him that his dog should have been recalled because your dog was in lead, and then he put his dog on lead.

I think that is the closest you'll get to him admitting he was wrong. Very unusual for a man who behaves like that to actually say sorry and admit it. Not responding and then quietly putting his dog on lead is the closest it gets.

Maybe he will have gone away knowing he was wrong and he wont do the same to another dog.

Dog owners like him really are just arseholes though, and being aggressive with you just confirms he is an arsehole.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 31/12/2021 16:39

@2022beesknees

It's a difficult one as I can see it from both perspectives. One person's aggressive GSD, for example, is the owner's exuberant, energetic, loving, friendly and beautiful companion who deserves time to be off-lead in woodland. If he actually heard what you said, he should have recalled his dog immediately. Hope your dog makes a speedy recovery.
Of course his dog deserves and is allowed to be off lead. As long as it is trained and has good recall.

When you see a dog on a lead, you need to recall your dog and keep it away until you have passed by.

Nothing wrong with a dog having a good run around. Everything wrong with allowing your dog to approach a dog on a lead.

It isnt on lead or off lead with nothing in between. It is off lead with bomb proof recall. That's how to be a dog owner.

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 16:40

My default these days is just to walk off in the opposite direction. My dog will follow me whether on lead or off whilst sharing her opinion of disgust every now and again at the dog following us further and further away from their owner

Grumpyosaurus · 31/12/2021 16:41

A bit of both.

I wouldn't necessarily call my dogs away from a dog on a longline unless training was underway (though I always call them back from dogs on leads). So the dog coming up wasn't unreasonable.

However, the bloke was a dick for not getting his dog back when you asked him to. Your dog was quite within his rights to tell the other dog to bugger off. Most sensible dog owners can read that sort of exchange - my older dog had stern words the other day with a young lab who got right in her face, and the owner was fine about it, even when my dog extended her telling off into chasing the lab a few yards. You see from the demeanour of both dogs that this wasn't an aggressive exchange at all (no snarling and hackles from mine, no fear from his).

While every dog will have its moments, there are some bloody useless owners out there. Like the one who used to say to me 'Oh, are you STILL training that dog?' as hers ran riot and bollocked up my plans...

Grumpyosaurus · 31/12/2021 16:42

Sorry, meant to delete my first sentence when I reread you OP. You are def NBU.

chandellina · 31/12/2021 16:43

You are both being unreasonable but it sounds like both the dogs are just fine. If your dog is in danger of injury from other dogs you shouldn't take it out, or be certain there won't be any surprises in its day. Presumably a cat or squirrel could have caused harm too? I would be peeved to be told off for my off lead dog going up to a dog on a lead, like that's a crime. I think many dog owners are really unrealistic about the animal nature of the animals they love.

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 16:43

I wouldn't necessarily call my dogs away from a dog on a longline unless training was underway

Well you really should unless told otherwise Hmm

Piggy42 · 31/12/2021 16:44

I think he was entirely in the wrong. Out of interest, I had this conversation with a friend. If an off lead dog comes over to his fear-aggressive, on the lead dog, which bites, presumably it’s not his fault as his dog is on the lead?

SirChenjins · 31/12/2021 16:45

YANBU, this makes me so mad. In fact, there’s another thread on exactly the same topic where we’re all venting about off-lead dogs that annoy other dogs while their owners get narked when people complain. It’s the height of ignorance and twattishness.