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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Off-lead dog running over to my on-lead dog, other owner responds aggressively

108 replies

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 16:13

For some reason I can't shake this so coming to AIBU.

I took my dog for a gentle walk this afternoon. He is recovering from an injury so was on a long-lead, to prevent him running but also so that I could communicate to other people that he doesn't want to say hi to their dogs today (I reel some lead in for this - it's not an annoying flexilead, it is a highly visible bright lead that you can't miss at all). This is what I did with other dogs I saw, whose owners respected this and didn't let their dogs approach.

We were in an empty field so he had a bit of lead with freedom to move around and sniff but could be shortened. Part of it got tangled in a branch that had been blown over so I was untangling it. As I did, an off-lead dog appeared out of nowhere and charged towards my dog. He was a few metres away from me as I was reeling his line in and it was stuck on a branch. I called to the owner "he is recovering from injury so is on-lead and won't want to say hello to yours". The man smiled and did nothing. After five seconds or so of looking super uncomfortable with a dog sniffing his face (which most dogs don't like anyway let alone when in pain), my dog asked the other dog to move. It didn't, so he chased it away (out of character behaviour because he is injured). He made a bit of noise whilst doing so but didn't make any contact - he wouldn't. By chase away, I mean he ran the couple of metres of his lead he had back to me and the dog happened to run alongside him.

The guy then shouts "FOR F* SAKE". I asked why he let his dog run up to on-lead dogs (there was another on-lead dog with me and a friend, that one was fine but is nervous so isn't let off), and he said "this is a woodland, your dog shouldn't do that". I told him that I have as much entitlement to walk my dog as he does his, and mine was on-lead, his shouldn't have approached or he should have recalled it.

He made a big scene of checking his dog over (fine to do - I witnessed the whole thing happen and my dog didn't touch his but did make some noise, as dogs do when communicating) and went on without saying anything. I did note that he put his dog on a lead afterwards. For some reason I can't stop thinking about it - I think because it's a normal walking spot for me and I don't want people to get the wrong idea about my dog. This was out of character for him due to recovering from an injury, and because his lead was around a big branch it was tight. My dog is generally comfortable with small dogs (which this was), doesn't like GSDs so we just avoid them.

I think I'm just a bit more flustered as the man got aggressive, usually people acknowledge that the other dog was on a lead.

YABU - you're in the wrong and should have apologised
YANBU - the man should have recalled his dog when you said yours was injured and on-lead, and not blamed you

I should add I work with dogs professionally so in terms of reading the incident etc I know that my dog did nothing but make a bit of noise to clear the other dog off. Feeling extra touchy over the last few days...aunt flo is due.

OP posts:

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 31/12/2021 17:18

I don't disagree he was a twat but you didn't have your dig under control either. That you let the long line get that tangled means you had lost control, you dog was attached to the bush/tree not you.

Under those circumstances it is reasonable to blame him for being a dickhead but the reinjury could well be down to your lead handling.

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 17:20

I would walk your dog on a short lead if he’s injured/not good with other dogs. Long lines cause so many problems, the other guy may not have heard you and thought you’re dog was off lead. I’ve seen so many problems where people and dogs have got tangled up in them. Other guy had no excuse to be aggressive though, that’s not fair.

Lead was held in mid air as I was shortening it, horse lunge line type so clearly visible. He only had a few metres at the time. My dog is quite socially appropriate with other dogs and today wanted to be left alone because he was sore. I wouldn't walk him on a long line or off lead otherwise. Also tbh if he was on a short lead the other dog would have still run over and had no recall.

OP posts:

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 17:22

Also to add my dog didn't respond as soon as he was approached, he tolerated the greeting for a while until the dog didn't move, lots of time for dog to be recalled or for the guy to move it

OP posts:

stevalnamechanger · 31/12/2021 17:22

Yesterday my friends on lead dog attacked another woman's dogs , who rushed up to him ... owner not in sight and started jumping all over him .

Owner had no recall and seemed to think it was the on lead owners fault

When will people bloody learn !

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 17:27

You seem to make a lot of excuses for you and your dog. Maybe he had some too.

I'll admit that it's less than ideal to have part of a long line stuck in a tree but I don't think I'm making a lot of excuses - he's injured so we went for a quiet walk (not to a busy dog walking area, we have a dog park sort of thing nearby and wouldn't go there obviously) and I let the guy know so he could recall his dog on approach and during the 5 seconds his dog spent sniffing my dogs face. There's not really excuses for a dog being off lead with no recall. I never used to let my dog off lead until he could recall away from dogs, squirrels, people, bikes, etc reliably.

OP posts:

muddyford · 31/12/2021 17:28

When my dog was recovering from an orthopaedic operation, but could be walked on a long lead (lunge rein not flexi), a bloke let his two dogs start running towards mine. I shouted "Kennel cough!" at the top of my voice and he got them back and walked rapidly in the opposite direction.

Be creative! A friend with a working spaniel had four Border collies giving her dog hassle and hollered to the owners, who were a football pitch away, that he was a police dog on holiday. Again they couldn't get away fast enough.

Dobbysgotthesocks · 31/12/2021 17:30

@chandellina

You are both being unreasonable but it sounds like both the dogs are just fine. If your dog is in danger of injury from other dogs you shouldn't take it out, or be certain there won't be any surprises in its day. Presumably a cat or squirrel could have caused harm too? I would be peeved to be told off for my off lead dog going up to a dog on a lead, like that's a crime. I think many dog owners are really unrealistic about the animal nature of the animals they love.

@chandellina You sound like the exact type of dog walker I detest. You should keep your dog away from ALL on lead dogs! Not to do so is irresponsible and completely unfair to the dogs yours run up to. You would get short shrift i came across you! And reported to the dog warden too!

Dobbysgotthesocks · 31/12/2021 17:30

@vivainsomnia

Both of you were in the wrong as neither of you were in control of your dog.

You seem to make a lot of excuses for you and your dog. Maybe he had some too.

The Op was in control 🙄 an on lead dog is under control!

cansu · 31/12/2021 17:33

It sounds a little like your dog was on quite a long lead if he was able to chase the other dog!

He shouldn't have let his approach yours but it also doesn't really sound like you had yours under proper control either.

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 17:34

You say you work with dogs professionally so this can't be he first time you've met an arsehole owner, shit happens, both dogs are OK so let it go.

Correct. I'm due on and feeling a bit sensitive. I think the aggression from the man triggered me more than it should have. If anyone else was telling me this happened I'd tell them not to worry.

He probably knew he was in the wrong, then when your dog gave his a fright, he reacted (like so many people do when on the defensive) with aggression.

Yes this makes sense

OP posts:

HikingforScenery · 31/12/2021 17:34

Those longline leads are annoying tbh. They don’t seem to enable the dog walker to have proper control. I’ve seen people holding leads with no idea of what their dogs are up to metres away so can’t intervene. What’s the point?

Whammyyammy · 31/12/2021 17:34

@stevalnamechanger

Yesterday my friends on lead dog attacked another woman's dogs , who rushed up to him ... owner not in sight and started jumping all over him .

Owner had no recall and seemed to think it was the on lead owners fault

When will people bloody learn !

We had a similar incident, and police were involved as other owner said he had been bitten by our dog. Luckily we wear a body cam, which showed off lead dog bound 30 meters from its drive, down the lane to us and start on my dogs. It got pinned down and warned by my big boy, then came back for more and got bitten hard. Owner was nowhere near us or our dogs, he got aggressive but my husband is a big guy so ge backed down sharpish.

He called the police and said he got bit saving his on lead dog from ours. We showed the police the video of us walking our dogs on lead and his off lead dog coming up to us and owner nowhere near during the whole event. Police obviously didn't take any action against us and apologised but informed other owner his dog is not to be off lead in public again, which they ignore, but they soon put it on a lead if they see my dogs.

ErrolTheDragon · 31/12/2021 17:35

if your dog is in danger of injury from other dogs you shouldn't take it out

That's the most ludicrous comment I've ever seen on a dog thread, I think.

My previous dog had his eye injured by a boisterous boxer - and thereafter wanted to take revenge on all of that breed.

My current dog is a nearly 16 yo dachshund. He doesn't go out much, but had a few excursions this summer - fortunately other dog owners were civilised and didn't really need to have it explained that a 'friendly' paw in the wrong place could be disastrous.

Anyway, of course YANBU, op. Don't worry about what people may think - if they've got any sense it will be 'that guy was well out of order'

cansu · 31/12/2021 17:35

I also don't buy this idea that just because he is on a lead of some kind he is under your control. If he has a few metres and can chase off another dog, he could bite a person or another animal.

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 17:35

It sounds a little like your dog was on quite a long lead if he was able to chase the other dog!

It was a couple of metres, he just chased him away from my immediate area, no distance. Just made the dog clear off out of his face when he didn't after other communication hadn't worked.

OP posts:

LynxGiftsetAndSocks · 31/12/2021 17:35

You were in the right.... it's your job. You know you were

Mumsnetters LOVE to make a wrong-doing out of nothing and will clutch at straws ( and pearls) to the end of time!

Hope your dog has a good recovery

LynxGiftsetAndSocks · 31/12/2021 17:37

@cansu

I also don't buy this idea that just because he is on a lead of some kind he is under your control. If he has a few metres and can chase off another dog, he could bite a person or another animal.

But he didn't

YOU could bite a person or animal. But don't .

FizzyTango · 31/12/2021 17:39

Story of my life. My dog is reactive so always on a lead and the number of dickhead dog owners that don’t understand they need TO RECALL YOUR DOG AWAY FROM A DOG ON A LEAD. It boils my piss. You aren’t in the wrong op.

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 17:40

he could bite a person or another animal.

He would not bite a person or animal. This was normal dog to dog communication to ask an in his face dog to go away. There was zero intent behind it. My dog has been attacked several times by other dogs and even in those situations has never made contact, just makes noise to ask them to get away. He is incredibly affectionate towards people. Dog to dog escalated communication can often sound a bit scary because we perceive any noises from dogs as attacks when that is how they talk if subtle communication is ignored.

OP posts:

Soggymarshmellows · 31/12/2021 17:47

I am so happy to read this thread. Obviously not because of what happened but because my little gentle dog got attacked while on the lead about 6 weeks ago. Required vets etc. (Thats another story..apparently it was all my dogs fault according to the awful owner who also was nasty. She is a fluffy small dog and was on a lead and the other was a vicious lurcher and off lead and owner didn't have their dog in sight. Came out of nowhere and rolled mine. Took 2 men to pull it off).
Now my little dog is reactive on lead. Getting better but it frightened her a lot. When other dogs approach and she's on lead she growls. I've had so many people tut at me or comment that my dog is growling or try to get my dog to play or deliberately bring their dogs over during the last month. Been getting me down as it doesn't help at all. Have had to explain dozens of times that my dog was attacked and is still sensitive (she goes to dog walker and home day care and has been fine there with her doggy friends...just strange dogs esp. Big ones). I wish people would understand why dogs growl as a warning.
My dog is happier off lead in open spaces as she feels she can control her escape (but comes to hide by me now when big dogs approach). I hope with time she'll improve.

Goawayangryman · 31/12/2021 17:53

Totally not unreasonable and your man was a prize plonker. I HATE men like this who just think they are always right and have to knock women down a peg or two, which is what he was trying to do. However...I'd plead for a tiny bit of leeway for a daft puppy who is still learning manners (mine) and totally over-friendly with everything that moves... I always, always put her back on lead if there is an elderly or infirm.person on dog, or a dog on any kind of lead. However... It's hard to proof a recall if you never ever go out of a comfort zone/enclosed area/place devoid of exciting other dogs.

I think it is also probably much easier if you have a dog that is standoffish with other dogs and humans, or naturally wary. If you've got an over exhuberant "greeter" type the odd slip up is embarrassing but inevitable. I would always apologise profusely though.

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 17:55

@Goawayangryman for now your friendly exuberant pup needs to be on a long line. Some dogs hate exuberant and it's a good way for yours to get hurt

Goawayangryman · 31/12/2021 17:57

I don't like long lines as I think they are hazardous and my police dog handler trainer agrees. Also... How do they actually learn in this way?

Querty123456 · 31/12/2021 17:57

My tuppence here is that in this sort of situation you need to be ultra clear about what you want. So I would have said at the top of my voice, “get your dog on a lead please”and then explained the situation after and thank them etc. it’s all to easy to misunderstand the situation, especially outside, with the wind blowing/ distracted etc plus lots of people with straight forward dogs are simply mooching along enjoying their walk, they’ve not got the hyper vigilance needed when you’ve got a injured/ sensitive one. So it’s best to be super clear, long sentences about injuries/ friendliness etc will often be misheard or misunderstood.

Goawayangryman · 31/12/2021 17:58

Pup's dog-body-language skills are faultless. She would never try to greet a dog that was giving off fuck off vibes.

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