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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Off-lead dog running over to my on-lead dog, other owner responds aggressively

108 replies

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 16:13

For some reason I can't shake this so coming to AIBU.

I took my dog for a gentle walk this afternoon. He is recovering from an injury so was on a long-lead, to prevent him running but also so that I could communicate to other people that he doesn't want to say hi to their dogs today (I reel some lead in for this - it's not an annoying flexilead, it is a highly visible bright lead that you can't miss at all). This is what I did with other dogs I saw, whose owners respected this and didn't let their dogs approach.

We were in an empty field so he had a bit of lead with freedom to move around and sniff but could be shortened. Part of it got tangled in a branch that had been blown over so I was untangling it. As I did, an off-lead dog appeared out of nowhere and charged towards my dog. He was a few metres away from me as I was reeling his line in and it was stuck on a branch. I called to the owner "he is recovering from injury so is on-lead and won't want to say hello to yours". The man smiled and did nothing. After five seconds or so of looking super uncomfortable with a dog sniffing his face (which most dogs don't like anyway let alone when in pain), my dog asked the other dog to move. It didn't, so he chased it away (out of character behaviour because he is injured). He made a bit of noise whilst doing so but didn't make any contact - he wouldn't. By chase away, I mean he ran the couple of metres of his lead he had back to me and the dog happened to run alongside him.

The guy then shouts "FOR F* SAKE". I asked why he let his dog run up to on-lead dogs (there was another on-lead dog with me and a friend, that one was fine but is nervous so isn't let off), and he said "this is a woodland, your dog shouldn't do that". I told him that I have as much entitlement to walk my dog as he does his, and mine was on-lead, his shouldn't have approached or he should have recalled it.

He made a big scene of checking his dog over (fine to do - I witnessed the whole thing happen and my dog didn't touch his but did make some noise, as dogs do when communicating) and went on without saying anything. I did note that he put his dog on a lead afterwards. For some reason I can't stop thinking about it - I think because it's a normal walking spot for me and I don't want people to get the wrong idea about my dog. This was out of character for him due to recovering from an injury, and because his lead was around a big branch it was tight. My dog is generally comfortable with small dogs (which this was), doesn't like GSDs so we just avoid them.

I think I'm just a bit more flustered as the man got aggressive, usually people acknowledge that the other dog was on a lead.

YABU - you're in the wrong and should have apologised
YANBU - the man should have recalled his dog when you said yours was injured and on-lead, and not blamed you

I should add I work with dogs professionally so in terms of reading the incident etc I know that my dog did nothing but make a bit of noise to clear the other dog off. Feeling extra touchy over the last few days...aunt flo is due.

OP posts:

Clymene · 31/12/2021 17:59

@Moonface123

This is precisely why l won' t get another dog. Dog walking has become way too complicated ,and takes all the fun out of it, when l was young we always walked our dogs miles off lead, never an issue, now totally different story, most dog owners look utterly miserable or very anxious when out walking their dog, and l am sure their dog picks up on it. You are now treated like a criminal for allowing your dog off lead, even if dog is elderly lurcher zero interest in other dogs or humans.

There is nothing wrong with having dogs off lead if they have excellent recall and will leave dogs on lead alone.

If your dog trots alongside you happily, ignoring all other dogs, you're not the problem.

A lot of people got dogs in lockdown which are poorly socialised and poorly trained. With incompetent owners.

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 18:00

They learn on long lines because it's like being free but you have a safety net. Police may have different criteria but I don't know a single pet dog trainer who doesn't advocate them. Why does your dog need leeway if it's judgement is faultless?

RedHelenB · 31/12/2021 18:05

My dog is mostly on lead due to shocking recall if other dogs are present but he loves to say hello and round my way most people with dogs on lead let them say hello unless they are reactive or whatever.

Goawayangryman · 31/12/2021 18:06

I do understand the logic of longlines but I think our trainer's view is that you instead teach recall hard, fast and first, which is what we've been doing with her. The dog needs to make up it's own mind to do what you want and be amply rewarded for it, not be hauled back for infractions. I totally trust her method so I will be sticking with what she says, despite feeling edgy sometimes. She knows her stuff I think..

But to the OP.... it's not you. He was a dick.

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 18:09

I don't like long lines as I think they are hazardous and my police dog handler trainer agrees. Also... How do they actually learn in this way?

Dogs can't practice meet and greet habits and can practice recall instead. They will avoid negative experiences with other dogs that don't want to say hi. Other dogs will also avoid negative experiences with greetings they weren't comfortable with.

OP posts:

TheWernethWife · 31/12/2021 18:10

Our friends elderly female greyhound was bitten by a large mastiff type dog, not on a lead, it just ran over to her. She pulled her lead out of our friend's hand and bolted in terror.

Goawayangryman · 31/12/2021 18:11

My point about the faultless judgement is that I'm confident that my dog would not engage further if a dog shows signs of not wanting to engage at all. She will appraise from a distance and not approach if other dog looks unhappy. That accounts for most scenarios with reactive dogs, but not with those that are injured and may think they want to play, which is where the issue arises. And where I appreciate I have work to do in terms of better anticipating the problem ahead and clipping her on.

People and dogs make the occasional mistake and in that case a profuse apology is what's needed I think.

Soggymarshmellows · 31/12/2021 18:12

Ahh just remembered we recently had a bouncy dog run over in the park and take our dogs ball...pretty normal, and doesn't usually bother me. And we usually get it back of course. Except twatty male owner- bit of a hugh grant in the 90s type - couldn't get his dog to give it back or even get the dog back on lead to get it back. He didn't even say anything to us to acknowledge this, just looked away.. then in style of rom-com chased this dog for a good 10 minutes. Dog had zero respect for him and he even skidded over at one point (like the film Marley and me) trying to attach the lead. My dc were cracking up. In the end (he'd still not even said anything) our ddog was sitting there looking at it all with disdain. I shouted 'keep the ball ' put our dog on lead and went home.
Why on earth did he even have his dog off lead in a residential park?! He was another of the know-it-all/no nothing owners I seem to be encountering at the moment and probably similar to your one.
In the same park I had an owner get narky with me because her dog retrieved a ball she'd thrown and he brought it back to me and dropped it at my feet, so I kicked it. She shouted after me 'he's my dog!'. Flipping crazy...

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 18:16

Pup's dog-body-language skills are faultless. She would never try to greet a dog that was giving off fuck off vibes.

That's great and becoming more and more rare as dogs aren't being socialised with puppy tolerant adult dogs, just other puppies who can't read dog body language, so nobody learns from anyone.

OP posts:

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 18:17

@Goawayangryman

People and dogs make the occasional mistake and in that case a profuse apology is what's needed I think.

My dog would completely ignore yours in that circumstance though . She'd only react if it ran straight up to her after deciding she was friendly because no dh lad being given off . She 100% wouldn't hurt her but she certainly sounds like she might she's probably fighter you and your dog and would further make mine dislike stance boundy dogs . Another dog might not just be all noise though. If your recall is so solid and methods effective you for need leeway. Until then a longline doesn't emergencies is wise ...

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 18:19

@yellowleaves123

Pup's dog-body-language skills are faultless. She would never try to greet a dog that was giving off fuck off vibes.

That's great and becoming more and more rare as dogs aren't being socialised with puppy tolerant adult dogs, just other puppies who can't read dog body language, so nobody learns from anyone.

The thing is people think socialising is about letting them play (or be told off), it isn't - it's teaching them to ignore other dogs unless invited not to. It's not fair on an older dog to have to socialise a young puppy to their own distress. It's the humans job

Stellaris22 · 31/12/2021 18:22

One of the best things we did for our dog was introduce her as a puppy to older dogs (with owners permission). It's great because the older dogs told her off when she was too much (all puppies are a pain) and she learned doggy interaction from those older dogs.

She'd now pretty much bomb proof with all dogs. Owners of nervous dogs remark on how calm she is around their dogs while she loves full on playing with more confident dogs.

I really think socialisation as young as possible is important, so then you don't get 'rude' behaviour like jumping all over other dogs that aren't ok with it.

Janeandjohnny · 31/12/2021 18:22

You are totally in the right but he was a dick so would not listen. Its always hard with off lead dogs. I probably would have blocked the other dog more and made it move myself. Could you have got a stay or sit on yours and then moved the other? Awful.

curlymom · 31/12/2021 18:23

I have two puppies who are impeccable behaved as I have made training a priority. The boy does get excited when he sees other dogs so stays on lead most.y and the girl just stays by me like glue. An off lead dog came up to my girl while she was on lead in summer and scratched her face. I was furious. The owner laughed and said that’s what dogs do so I told him to disappear using not such polite language. Sometimes doge do the wrong thing but we need to apologise. As I am a total dog lady I now ignore the idiot owners and communicate to the dog myself. A shot sharp NO on approach will stop them in their tracks. Then tell owner to act. Sometimes they apologise which is great. If they don’t, they can get lost. I tell them.
I hope your dog is ok x

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 18:23

I agree completely. My general advice for socialisation is to teach dogs to be calm around other dogs, to be able to ignore dogs, and to spend time around puppy tolerant adults so that they can see how they communicate with each other and learn social skills. My dog doesn't want to be jumped all over by puppies (many don't) and it's not beneficial for either adult or pup for anyone to have to be told off.

OP posts:

SoupDragon · 31/12/2021 18:27

I am so fed up with dog owners allowing their off led dogs to bound up to my on-lead one. They really don't give a shit.

BertieQueen · 31/12/2021 18:27

This annoys me so much! Unless a dog has 100% recall and doesn’t approach other dogs without being invited to it should be on a lead.

My dog is always on lead, she doesn’t like other dogs approaching her out of no where, I have lost count at the amount of times I have had to ask people to recall their dogs while we have been out for a stroll, the same old line ‘but they are friendly’ really boils my piss too! I don’t care how friendly you think your dog is, get it away from mine now.

Whistleforthechoir · 31/12/2021 18:34

I don't have a dog. Don't like dogs. Dog owners like this guy drive me crazy. They let their pets come bounding up to people, children, other dogs and jump all over you; then get aggressive when you politely ask them to get them off.

There are way too many selfish pricks that live near me who think their dogs' rights trump everybody else's. Makes my blood boil.

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 18:36

@BertieQueen

This annoys me so much! Unless a dog has 100% recall and doesn’t approach other dogs without being invited to it should be on a lead.

My response now to 'he's friendly' is to say well Mine isn't. Not entirely true she's friendly enough but just doesn't want jumped over by strange dogs who are frequently 4/5 times or more her size and weight

WowIlikereallyhateyou · 31/12/2021 18:40

YANBU, i have been yelled at when telling off lead dog owners not to come to my reactive dog. The numptys usually say it is me who cant control my dog as it is on a lead. No WORDS for these kind of special fuckwits.Arrrrrrgggggghhhh.

Xogozil · 31/12/2021 18:49

I’ve got an elderly lab, bit of arthritis so she plods along. If I see a lively dog around I slip her lead on and most dog owners see this, clock she’s an older dog and call theirs away, some even slip a lead on to keep their dog away. At least once a week she’ll get a young, bouncy dog ( is it Vizla’s that seem to be the latest in dog?) running at her, one even tried to mount her recently —— always a man on his own as the owner. 99% of the time they ignore their dog, ignore its behaviour.

vivainsomnia · 31/12/2021 18:51

Mine was on a lead and his was not, I believe a lead constitutes control
A lead that was metered long that meant he could chase the other dog a couple of metres. That's not controlling your dog.

The guy was no doubt in the wrong should have called his dog back immediately but you should have been able to also get your dog next to you quickly and you couldn't because the lead was too long and tangled.

gogohm · 31/12/2021 18:53

The man was in the wrong however if you have a dog on lead I wouldn't take them to a place that has predominantly off lead dogs, not everyone has well trained dogs, we know that!

My ddog is not keen on other dogs but he's got 99.9% recall and can be sent in different directions at speed (sheepdog) so I'm pretty confident but if he's on lead eg recently recuperating from surgery we walk in on lead areas eg streets or on a short lead

Original poster

yellowleaves123 · 31/12/2021 18:58

The man was in the wrong however if you have a dog on lead I wouldn't take them to a place that has predominantly off lead dogs, not everyone has well trained dogs, we know that!

Mostly the dogs that walk here are elderly or on lead. It isn't a busy dog walking spot. If it wasn't my dog that told this one to scarper, it would be somebody else's.

OP posts:

Brigante9 · 31/12/2021 18:58

My adult dog dislikes untrained dogs banging up to him so we’re very careful to ensure he’s comfortable/occupied with retrieves. I’m currently training the 2 puppies to greet other dogs politely (sit, no stupidity) because I don’t want to be that arsehole owner that others hate. You absolutely weren’t unreasonable.

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